Page 15 of The Hitman's Secret Love Child

“Crowd control,” Corey yelled at me.

Giving him a nod, I turned and just as I turned I noticed a glint of silver as a twenty-something African-American man pulled his hand out from under his denim jacket as he came down an aisle in front of me. My mind blanked out. It was as though time stood still and I left my body. I wasn’t in control of anything and it wasn’t until I pulled the trigger and the man began to fall backwards, his gun also discharging up into the ceiling that I’d realised what I’d done.

“Fuck man!”

I froze as I watched the man hit the floor, blood beginning to saturate his white t-shirt. There were screams; they came from all around me. I could hear the thumping of my blood rushing through my veins in my ears.

My gaze was glued to him as he took his final breath. I looked down his body and noticed the logo for Satan’s Children gang. Several black stars ran up the side of his right hand – the hand still grasping the gun. The stars represented each of his kills. There were over half a dozen. But the fact that he was a killer didn’t ease the turmoil beginning to brew within me.

“Now! Let’s go!”

I looked down at Corey’s hand on my arm, pulling at the sleeve of my hoodie.

“Come on!” He pushed me and I stumbled.

Suddenly the frozen state broke and everything began to speed up at a reckless pace, so fast I don’t remember leaving the store or the run two blocks to the car. My next conscious thought was sitting in the passenger seat of the Pontiac sedan as Corey sped off down the street.

“For fucks sake, get that off your head.” He grabbed the top of the ski mask and pulled it off my head. “What the fuck? You weren’t supposed to kill anyone!”

“I don’t know. I…” I ran my hand through my dishevelled hair and attempted to catch my breath. “He had a gun. I didn’t think, I reacted.”

“That’s murder, man. If we get caught, that’s first-degree murder in addition to armed robbery!”

I looked over and into Corey’s eyes. I saw fear.

“You gave me the gun. You switched off the safety. I didn’t want it,” I growled through clenched teeth.

The fear dissipated and Corey nodded, heaving a loud sigh. “If you hadn’t killed him he would have killed us.”

Unless we ran away, I thought, but didn’t say it. “What’s done is done. Dude was a gang member. We did the city a favor.” I wasn’t sure who I was attempting to convince more, me or him.

“I got the money, though. You shooting that dude really got them moving. Made them realize we meant business, dude.” Corey threw a black cotton pillowcase at me. Opening it, I looked down and saw maybe a few thousand dollars – a thousand or so each once we split it. That would be the damage deposit on an apartment for me and Robyn – combined with the money I’d already squirreled away, maybe even enough that I could buy her an engagement ring. It wouldn’t be new, more like a second-hand pawn shop ring, but she wouldn’t care.

Still, a slight part of me felt regret.

But what was done was done, I told myself a second time. He shouldn’t have come charging down the aisle. If he’s stayed put and let us go he’d still be alive.

One thing was for certain though… Robyn could never know of this. If she did that would be the end of us together. She was such a good, kind person. She endured the way I was because she loved me and because I hadn’t crossed the line from being enticingly dangerous to terrifying and unstable. If she found out that I’d crossed that very shaky line I knew there was no way I’d be able to keep her in my life.

For whatever reason she felt I was worth saving – worthy of her love. God help me, I had no idea why, but she did. From here on in I vowed to myself I’d be on the straight and narrow.

But as it turned out, vows to myself are worth shit.

~*~TT~*~

Six years ago –one day after prom

Robyn

“How was it?” I looked over at my friend Kelly, who was sitting cross-legged opposite from me on my bed, and smiled at her question. How could I explain that it was the most incredible, exciting, exhilarating and passionate night of my life? Every good emotion that I could have been feeling, I was currently experiencing. I doubted there could be anything that could bring me down from this high.

“I, well…” I nibbled on my lower lip, wondering how much I should tell her. She was my best friend and we shared everything and I supposed I could share some of the previous evening’s events. Not the nitty-gritty details, but some stuff wouldn’t hurt. But, heavens, where would I start?

“Come on, spill! You’ve been holding onto your V-card for way too long. I can’t believe it took you guys almost two years to finally get in the sack!”

I cringed. She made it sound so dirty. “We waited for so long because it was so special. I wasn’t his first, but he was mine.” The love I had for him reflected in my smile. I didn’t even have to look into a mirror to know I had a goofy love-struck look on my face.

She smiled, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder. “I have to say, I’m shocked he waited so long, he’s such…” She crinkled her nose up at me.

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