Page 13 of The Hitman's Secret Love Child

“I don’t know. I mean, I’m angry – extremely angry over her leaving without saying anything, but then again do I have the right to be angry, all things considered?”

Vince shrugged. “You’ve never been an easy person Constantine, both to get close to and to live with. You’ve always been in trouble with the law and you have this ice wall around your heart. Somehow that girl was able to work her way to your heart back then, but that didn’t keep you from getting into trouble. We honestly hoped you’d change…” His expression took on a look of sadness that I’d never seen from him before.

I’d tried hard to keep my dealings to myself, but maybe he knew? New York was a huge place, but then again once you began working in smaller circles of not-so-savory people – people who frequented this very bar – it would only be a matter of time before word of what I was doing for a living would get back to him. The knowledge that Vince and Tonya – the only people in the world who ever stood by me through thick and thin – may be disappointed in me hurt.

“Fuck,” I muttered, leaning back into my chair. I wouldn’t even think about bullshitting Vince by denying the truth.

“So what are you thinking about doing?” Vince asked.

“I’m not sure. She’s got herself in over her head right now.”

Vince’s brow creased as he leaned forward. “That right?”

“Yeah, she married Gabriel Salvatore and left him a couple of months ago. He’s not accepting that she left.”

He released a low whistle. “The girl got herself into a pickle. So Gabriel has been raising your child?”

I nodded. “I’m going to assume so, I didn’t really get into specifics like that. But she’s trying to make an escape. He’s just not willing to let her.e’s He’s”

“I see. How did you ever get involved with her again after all this time? How did that come about? She looking for money?”

I was sent to kill her, I answered silently. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him that. “I was sent to take her back.”

Vince gave me a look of disapproval. “So you’re working for him now, huh?”

“No, it’s a one-time-only job.”

“Then why you? Why not just send one of his men?”

Fuck, it hadn’t been my intention to come here and be drilled about my deal with Gabriel. “I don’t know the reasoning behind it. I was offered a job and I took it. I really didn’t come here to talk about Gabriel, I’m more concerned about my child.”

“Uh-huh. Being a father is a big responsibility. Does the kid know who you are? Have you met him?”

“I’ve met him, but he doesn’t know who I am yet.”

“And Robyn? What does she want to do?”

“I don’t know.” I was beginning to feel like a scolded child. Jesus! I was a killer for hire and here I was cringing as I sat in my chair across from the closest as I’ve had to a parent figure. “I’m still trying to figure out what I think of the entire situation.”

“If you’re here wanting me to tell you what to do then you’ve come to the wrong place. I will give you some wisdom, though.”

“I’ll take it.”

“First off, you have to consider if you entering this child’s life is of benefit to the kid or hindrance. He’s blissfully ignorant currently from what I understand. If you’re going to shatter that ignorance then you need to do it for the right reasons, not because you think you have a right. If you feel that you can offer the child something of use then by all means enter his life, but don’t you dare shake up the life of Robyn and her child without being prepared to commit to it. I’m going to assume that she has enough on her plate dealing with Gabriel.”

Damn, he wasn’t holding back any punches.

“I hate to say it, but let’s be honest for a moment. You’re a grown man, I think you can handle the truth from me.”

I nodded. Damn, I hated that I was feeling like a child right now. But maybe this lecture was long overdue.

“It’s time you step up and protect what’s yours. Gabriel is trouble, so my advice is to protect that woman and her child. If you decide you want to play the role of daddy then so be it, but your life needs to `take a serious turn in another direction.” He leaned over the desk, lowering his voice. “I know how you make your money, Constantine. I’ve pretended for years that I didn’t, but I do. I hear things I’m not naive enough to not believe and I don’t blame Robyn for taking off when she found out she was pregnant. If you want this woman and this child, turn your life around. You’re a death dealer, Constantine, and it’s going to eventually end with you in a coffin. And that would be a damned shame.”

A death dealer… The words that my foster father spoke ran loops in my mind. I bowed my head, neither confirming nor denying his accusation. I’d been kidding myself into thinking he wouldn’t find out.

“Thanks for the talk, Vince. Give Tonya my love.” I stood and without giving Vince another look and left the office. The air in there was becoming thick, making it hard to breathe. What in the hell was I supposed to do if I didn’t kill for a living? I really didn’t need the extra money, I’d made .more than my fair share over the years and had a nice big bank account.

But it was who I was.

He was right, though. I couldn’t force myself into Austin’s life unless I was willing to make serious changes in my own life first. But how did I change? If I did change, what then? I was never a 9-5 kinda guy, working “for the man.” My skillset was death and destruction, not exactly something you could put on a job application.

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