Page 11 of The Hitman's Secret Love Child

“Let’s start at the beginning. Did you know you were pregnant when you took off?”

Pulling my lower lip between my teeth, I cringed. “I did. I found out the morning before I left.”

“Did it occur to you to tell me before you left?”

It had, it had so many times. I don’t think words could describe the emotions that had gone through me back then – fear, pressure, anxiety. “I wanted to.”

“Then why didn’t you? A simple, ‘hey Constantine, just thought I’d let you know I got knocked up and you’re the dad, guess we should have used condoms after all.’”

“Yeah.” I hung my head. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m not a stupid person, I’m pretty sure I can get the gist of why if you wouldn’t fucking tell me.”

I looked up and ran a hand through my hair as I looked into his eyes. Even in this awkward situation, looking deep into his eyes brought back a flood of emotions – feelings I’d thought were long dead. “You knew I was planning on going to college.”

“Of course I knew that. And?”

“That was one issue, I was scared if you knew that you’d make me stay.”

He didn’t hesitate in his rebuttal. “I would have moved with you! You knew that. I wanted to leave New York with you, we’d discussed it. I was working on getting money to support us.”

Oh god, how do I say this… “It wasn’t a matter of that, that was only a factor.”

“Then…”

“I found out about the armed robbery, Constantine. The day after prom. I knew it was you.”

His face went blank. But I could tell he knew exactly what I was talking about, how could he not?

“When I first met you, the whole bad boy thing you had going on was thrilling and maybe it was a bit of a rebellion. I’d been such a goodie-goodie all my life. It wasn’t love – teenaged rebellion was what it was.”

He looked at me and something appeared in his eyes. I couldn’t place the emotion.

“But then when I got pregnant and I was accepted to a good school, I realized it was time to grow up and think of a future. You were a wild card, Constantine, destined to be either locked up or dead before we were twenty.”

“Robyn, that’s not fair.”

“Why isn’t it? All your life you’ve been bucking the system. If it was illegal and a way to fast cash you’d jump at it.”

Shaking his head, he replied, “You don’t know the whole story. There was so much you didn’t know about the life I was leading.”

“Exactly!” I sat up a little straighter. “There were too many X factors with you. When I found out I was pregnant my first thought was to tell you, but then I chickened out. I gave it serious thought that day and realized that you were who you were and I wasn’t going to let my child be wrapped up in a life where his father was well on his way to becoming a professional criminal, locked up or dead. You shot someone, killed them in cold blood.”

Anger filled his expression again. “So, your decision was to leave me for one of the biggest crime bosses on the East Coast and have him raise MY child?” His voice rose to the point he was yelling again.

“I didn’t leave you for him.”

“That’s not what I meant. You left then got with him, whatever amount of time later.”

My recent bout of confidence deflated and I sank back onto the sofa. He was right. I’d made a huge, huge mistake and now I was paying the price. Austin and I both were. “I made a mistake. I didn’t know the truth about Gabriel until it was too late.”

A calmness filled his expression and eyes again. “Yes. It appears that’s the point that it’s come to. Problem is, it’s our child who is going to be paying the biggest price for your mistakes, honey.”

We stared at each other a moment. “I’m not going back to him, Constantine.”

“No,” he agreed. “No, you’re not.” He stood suddenly and without another word, turned and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him. He slammed the door so hard it shook the wall where a picture of Austin and myself was hanging, leaving it slightly askew.

I sat there stunned for a few minutes, just staring blankly at the closed apartment door. Was Constantine coming back? What would happen when he relayed the message that I wasn’t going to go back to Gabriel? I needed things to move along with the feds and get the fuck out of this city. They’d promised me a new life as long as I gave them the information they needed and I prayed I’d get it before it was to late.

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