Page 52 of The Hitman's Secret Love Child

I was an asshole. A part of me was still hurting over what I deemed to be her betrayal and wanted her to hurt too. She said leaving me was as hard for her as it was for me, but she wasn’t the one who was left in the dark. I hadn’t taken anything from her. I was trying hard to see her point of view and put myself into her place.

Really, really trying.

It wasn’t important right now. I’d deal with those emotions when all of this was over with. Now that I knew of Austin’s existence I wasn’t about to let him go. It was something I’d decided over the span of the past couple of days. Robyn may or may not come part and parcel with that package – that had yet to be determined.

“Still…” she trailed off. I waited a moment, but she didn’t say anything more.

Everything was set to go. Taking a deep breath in I slowly released it. “I’ve gotta go in order for things to go smoothly.” Turning around I saw a frown on her lips and unshed tears rimming her eyes.

With a sigh, I placed the case on the bedroom floor and cupped her chin in my hand, tilting her head up so she looked into my eyes. “It’s going to be fine. I promise.”

Robyn nodded. “Uh-huh.”

She was getting closer to shedding those tears. The heart inside my chest that had been hard for such a long time cracked. “It’ll be a whole new start. For both of us. Is that what you want?” It was what she wanted – I could see the love and hope for a future for us in her eyes. Problem was, I just wasn’t sure that I was able to love her like I had in the past. Didn’t even know if I was genuinely capable of such intense feelings anymore; my life at present didn’t allow for emotions. Looking down into her eyes I felt an impulse to tell her I loved her, but I forced that urge back. Time was needed for me to sort out my head.

“I’ve got to go.” Kissing her forehead, I picked up my case and left the room. I halfway expected to hear her footsteps running behind me, but I didn’t. Pausing at Austin’s room, I opened the door as quietly as possible and peered in. We’d put him to bed a little over an hour ago. He was sound asleep.

Walking into the room as soundlessly as possible, I reached the bed and kissed his forehead. Straightening up, a chuckle escaped me. I felt like a family man. House in the suburbs, kid sound asleep by nine and a woman who loved me waiting for me to come home safe and sound from work.

Wow! Running a hand through my hair, I turned and left the bedroom. I half expected to see Robyn waiting for me by the front door as I reached the bottom of the staircase. She wasn’t.

I’m not sure why, but I looked over my shoulder as I opened the front door. I didn’t want to leave them. Robyn’s suggestion to just leave and start a fresh new life seemed really good at the moment. Normally, the thought of going out on a job sent an insane high through me. But not tonight. It was something that had to be done.

~*~TT~*~

Robyn

If I kept pacing like I was I’d surely make a trail along the center of the carpeted floor. But I couldn’t stop. My heart was beating so hard and rapidly in my chest it felt like it was going to explode on through Constantine was our only chance of getting out of this mess alive. I’d burned my bridges with the FBI, calling agent Truss the previous day and telling him I couldn’t go forward with the deal and was mistaken when it came to the information I could provide – to say he wasn’t happy over my decision was an understatement.

But what about Gabriel? I had loved him at one time in my life and in the matter of a few hours he’d be dead. There was no doubt he deserved it. He’d ended countless lives for no reason other than they owed him money, or pissed him off. The world would be a better place. Despite that knowledge, guilt and remorse still lingered in my head.

I had to do something other than pace or I’d go insane. Leaving the bedroom I went to Austin’s room and opened the door. Without entering the room, I peeked in and smiled. He’d been sleeping soundly since we’d arrived here, it was like subconsciously he knew he was home. While he was usually a sound sleeper, many of his nights would be plagued with bad dreams with him tossing and turning on the bed, muttering words I couldn’t decipher. And Constantine was so damned good with him. It was like he had two personalities, a warm-hearted father on one hand, yet a cold-blooded killer on the other.

Just as I closed the door and backed away I heard the faint sound of footsteps on the lower level – at least it sounded like footsteps. Looking down at my watch, I frowned. Constantine had been gone for two hours now. Surely that wasn’t enough time to do the job and get back home.

With a shake of my head, I dismissed the feeling that someone else was in the house. It was paranoia, that was all. Despite my dismissing it as my imagination I went back into the bedroom and to Constantine’s closet. Pulling open the double doors to his wardrobe, I knelt and opened the hidden drawer at the back. Inside were several handguns, which Constantine had familiarized me with earlier that day. Grabbing a revolver, I checked to see if it was loaded and then to see if the safety was on – it was and it was.

One of Gabriel’s hobbies was to go to the shooting range. I’d gone with him on several occasions and knew my way around a gun. Granted I wasn’t the best shot, but at least I had the feeling of security knowing the gun was on me, just in case.

Despite telling myself that I was paranoid, I refused to put the gun away as I slowly made my way down the stairs. Downstairs was quiet – eerily quiet. But then again, the feeling could be dismissed as my imagination. Too many horror and thriller movies.

At the foot of the stairs, I made my way to the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry, but perhaps munching on junk food would entertain me and calm my nerves. It had been my go-to in the past.

Heading to the fridge, placing my free hand on the handle, I was just about to pull it open when I saw undeniable movement behind me. “Constantine?” Despite asking the question, I already knew it wasn’t him.

Spinning around, I lifted the gun, my finger sliding onto the trigger. Without my so much as thinking, my finger pulled the trigger, the kickback sending me backward against the fridge.

“Mommy?”

My eyes widened in horror as the bullet hit its target. “Oh god! What did I just do?”

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