Page 5 of The Hitman's Secret Love Child

Chapter 3

Robyn

“Thank you, Diane, I appreciate you doing this for me.” I attempted to give my neighbor, an elderly woman who lived in the apartment across from me, twenty dollars, but she waved it off. Considering how tight money was right now I was grateful she didn’t want the payment, so I didn’t offer a second time.

“You know how much I enjoy spending time with this little guy.” She ruffled the dark hair of my five-year-old son, Austin. He made a face and squirmed away from Diane’s hand. He hated when she ruffled his hair, but Diane never seemed to notice and considering she’d been a godsend to me since I moved into the building I certainly wasn’t going to rain on her parade. Whenever I needed something – anything – she was there for me. And of all times in my life I needed assistance, this was the time I needed help the most.

“Thank you,” I said again, my gratitude genuine, as she gave me and Austin another smile, turned and exited the apartment.

Closing the door behind Diane, I turned and looked down at Austin. “So did you have fun today?”

“I watched some TV.” He shrugged. “When are we going home, Mommy?”

I sighed as I picked him up, gave him a kiss on the forehead and carried him into the tiny bedroom that was now his. It was a far cry from the massive room he had when we were living with Gabriel. The massive estate that Gabriel owned was what Austin was used to, not a tiny rat-infested apartment building like the one we were in now.

But we had to leave. When the truth came out about the man I had thought I knew and loved, there was no way I could turn a blind eye. I’d accepted so much, endured a lot being with him, but I’d convinced myself that it was for Austin. How I’d been so stupid for so long was a mystery to me. I’d always prided myself in being a smart woman, but it seemed like when it came to love and relationships I was the stupidest female alive.

“It’s time for bed.”

“Mommy! It’s only eight o’clock.”

“I know, and eight o’clock is your bedtime.”

“Daddy used to let me stay up later.”

I groaned inwardly. Gabriel was the only father Austin knew. He’d brought it upon himself to determine Gabriel was his dad and I hadn’t corrected him. He knew he had a bio-dad, but as far as he knew his bio-dad had passed away. In retrospect, letting him believe that had been a mistake, but then again I’d made a shit ton of mistakes in my life – it was just another one to add to the long list.

Entering his room, I deposited him on his bed. “Well, Da-” I stopped and corrected myself. “Gabriel isn’t here now.”

He squirmed under the blankets. Diane had been good enough to already have him in his pajamas by the time I got home. She really was a godsend. “When are we going back home?”

We’d been in this apartment for close to two months now, but Austin refused to consider it home. “I’ve told you already. We’re starting a new life now.” I pulled him into my arms and gave him a hug. “Just you and me, against the world.”

“But…” he began to protest, but seemed to decide against it. Releasing him, I looked into his blue eyes – exact replicas of his real father’s.

“Life is going to be better, I promise.” I brushed a strand of dark hair out of his eyes. “I promise.”

He finally smiled and nodded. “Okay, Mommy.”

“Good.” Leaning forward I gave him another kiss. “Sleep tight –”

“– Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” he finished for me.

I laughed, though in this place bed bugs definitely were a possibility. None as of yet, but it certainly wouldn’t surprise me. Getting up from the bed, I walked over to the door, blew him a kiss, turned off his light and closed the door firmly behind me. He’d be asleep within five minutes. I’d never met anyone who could sleep as well as he could.

But maybe that was the beauty of being young and innocent, there was no stress or worries. I couldn’t remember the last time I was able to lay my head on a pillow and simply fall to sleep. Most days it took a couple doses of Nytol to put me out – at a minimum.

Crossing the living room I entered the kitchen and grabbed a wine cooler out of the fridge. Twisting off the cap, I tossed the cap onto the counter and took a long drink from the bottle. As I walked back into the living room, my mind drifted back to the incident in the subway earlier that day.

Constantine Bateman. Shit, I’d spent years attempting to get him out of my mind, but it was an exercise in futility. How could you forget someone when each and every day of your life you saw a reflection of him in the eyes of your child?

Answer: You couldn’t. But I made it through. Maybe one day I’d be able to finally forget him for good. Time healed all, wasn’t that how the saying went? There just hadn’t been enough time, but dammit it had been six years, how much time was really necessary? Seeing him again seemed to bring me back full circle and the wounds I’d felt when I made the decision to leave him in the first place felt raw once more.

Flopping myself onto the threadbare sofa, I turned on the television. The sofa and television, hell all of the furniture we were using, came with the apartment. When I left Gabriel I’d left with nothing aside from several trunks of my clothes, and a couple trunks of clothing for Austin and his toys. In his defense, I hadn’t come with much when I entered the relationship. Gabriel said he would keep our stuff for when we came running back to him. It wasn’t him being nice, I assure you of that. It was partly a bribe and partly his cocky attitude, as if he knew I’d come running back to him. But going back to him would never happen; I left for a reason. I left because I woke up from the fantasy he’d woven for me. Hell, the fantasy I’d woven for myself. Somewhere along the line I’d convinced myself that the abuse I endured was normal. He rarely laid a hand on me, but there was always the underlying threat. An angry Gabriel was not a man anyone wanted to be around.

I’d been so damned stupid and the worst of it was that I’d dragged my innocent child into the fire with me. Sometimes I wondered if I even deserved the beautiful little boy sleeping in the other room. How many errors could a person make before they lost it all? I knew I must have been getting close to the limit.

Finding a comedy starring Jason Bateman, I placed the remote back on the coffee table and took another swig from my wine cooler. It was a strawberry and kiwi flavor and I loved it – easily my favorite, not that I was much of a drinker to begin with. I could easily down several of these in a sitting and get wasted without even realizing it. They were so sweet that it was easy to fool yourself into thinking they were simply juice.

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