This was something I really needed to think about, but I didn’t have a lot of time. One thing was certain, though. This thing was becoming less and less about helping my father and more about being able to look myself in the mirror after it was done. When I believed they were essentially mass murderers, it was easier. I wasn’t going to be the one to harm them. I’d believed they’d done some truly horrible things.
Now? Yeah. I needed some time to sort this out. Because my gut was telling me this situation wasn’t black-and-white. There were a million shades of gray. I wasn’t remotely qualified for the sort of task I’d been given. Betraying these people would not only be the wrong thing to do, but it could destroy my soul.
Chapter Six
Bear
Going postal on Redwood hadn’t been intentional. Yeah, the little punk deserved what I’d dished out and more, and yeah, I’d meant it. No one in this club was touching or even thinking about touching Olivia. Which was a huge problem for me while she hadn’t yet told me the truth about what the fuck was going on with her.
Bullet cleaned her wound, putting a bandage over it after he washed off the blood drying on her skin as well as the fresh seepage. “I think a few Steri-Strips’ll do. Put a bandage on it until it completely stops bleeding, but you won’t need to keep it on long if you don’t want to. When was your last tetanus shot?”
“I-I don’t really remember?” Olivia darted a brief glance at me before looking back down at her lap. She sat at the dining table while Bullet taped her wound together. He grunted, putting a small dressing over the wound before sitting back and studying her. “I’ll get you a tetanus shot and some antibiotics. You allergic to anything?”
“No.”
“Good. I’ll be right back.” He smiled at Olivia, then stood to leave. “I’d have brought it with me, but I was closer to here than I was my office when you messaged.” He hiked his thumb over his shoulder at the door. “Saw Banjo, Redwood, and French on the way out.” When I didn’t say anything, he continued. “None of ‘em looked too happy.” Still, I said nothing. Bullet sighed. “OK, then. Nice chat. I’ll be right back.”
I grunted and turned back to Olivia. Bullet could show his own fucking self out the fucking door. Olivia kept her gaze lowered, twisting her fingers together. I stood there right in front of her for a long while. She kept her gaze down but darting around the room as if looking for an escape.
“Olivia…” I sighed, scrubbing my hand over my face. “Honey, why would you do that? Put yourself between two men who are more than twice your size? He could have accidentally hurt you.”
“You could have hurt me too.”
“Honey, no matter what’s going on or how upset I get, there is no situation where I accidentally hurt you.”
“Meaning, if you hurt me, it’s intentional.”
Something strange unfurled inside me. I immediately knew she was wrong. I couldn’t imagine a situation where I ever hurt her intentionally, even if I wanted to. Wasn’t altogether sure I could even if I had to. Or was ordered to. So I decided if I wanted her to be honest with me, I needed to be honest with her. If that meant I admitted how attracted I was to her, I’d lay it out there for her.
“Meaning, anything I do to cause you pain will ultimately give you pleasure. And it won’t be accidental. It will be deliberate and premeditated. And you’ll beg me for it.”
Olivia sucked in a breath. Her gaze snapped up to mine, and one hand landed lightly on my chest before she snatched it away. “Sorry,” she whispered.
I shifted my weight so I inched closer to her. Slowly, I reached down and took her hand, bringing it back to my chest. I held it there, letting her feel my heartbeat through my shirt. “Touch me if you want,” I murmured. “Might as well get used to me now. You’re gonna be touchin’ me a lot in the future. Same as I’ll be touchin’ you.”
“I-I c-can’t.”
“I told you the truth about the only pain I’d ever bring to you. Now, I want your truth. You said you had a boyfriend. Do you?”
She opened her mouth, then swallowed. This time, when she spoke, I knew she was telling the truth. “No.” Her confirmation was a breathy whisper, one that wrapped around my heart and squeezed. To say nothing of what it did to my cock.
“See? That wasn’t so hard. Was it?”
“Why are you doing this? I know you don’t trust me.”
I didn’t hesitate in my answer. “No, Liv. I don’t. But you’re going to tell me what’s going on. Then I’m gonna take care of whatever trouble’s found you. Once that’s done, we can get on with learning to trust each other.”
The expressions on her face changed rapidly. I saw surprise, hope, disappointment. Sadness. Then a steely resolve. Olivia shook her head. “No. That will never happen.”
“Which part? Because there’s a lot of stuff I intend to do.”
“All of it!” She sidestepped to get around me, then crossed the room. She was deeper inside my home, but too fucking far away from me for my liking. Only thing that kept me from moving back to her was the fact she had nowhere to go and couldn’t get out of the house without me being able to stop her. “Bear, just…” She sobbed in a shuddering breath. “Please. Give me my phone back and let me go home,” she finished with a little whimper.
“Sorry, darlin’. Can’t until this is all straightened out. Crush is checkin’ your phone out. Once he’s satisfied it’s secure, he’ll get it back to you.”
“I can’t stay here, Bear. I can’t.”
“Tell me why.”