Page 28 of Closing the Distance

Both of us stand, and I follow Lexi as the nurse leads us down the hall to an empty exam room. A gray machine that looks like some space computer stands off to the side with a bunch of knobs and buttons. A long, thin, white handle sticks up next to a short, gray, fat handle. The rest of the room looks like your standard doctor’s office. Some of my unease starts to settle.

Then I sit down in the chair beside the exam table, and directly across from me is a huge diagram that takes up a third of the wall and shows the size of a baby through each month of pregnancy. Lexi sits on the exam table and chats with the nurse, but I can’t focus on anything they’re saying because I’m staring at the image on the wall, and reality starts to sink in.

We made a baby.

A cluster of cells is growing into an actual person. A human being. That is fucking wild.

The nurse pulls out a black cuff and puts it on Lexi’s arm, taking her blood pressure, and my gaze focuses on her face. From the outside, she appears relatively calm, but she has little tells I’ve discovered over the past couple of weeks we’ve been together. There’s tension at the corners of her eyes that make the laugh lines there more pronounced, and while her face is a relative mask, her hands give away her nerves. The right thumbnail scrapes over her left thumbnail again, slightly faster than it was out in the waiting room.

I want to stand beside her and offer her some support, but this room is small, and I don’t want to get in the way of the nurse. When she’s done taking her blood pressure, she asks Lexi how she’s been feeling, takes some notes, and then tells us the doctor will be in shortly. The second she leaves and the door closes, I’m crossing the short distance to Lexi. From where she’s sitting, her head lines up with my chin. Her legs open enough for me to position myself between them, and I immediately wrap my arms around her and hug her close. She’s stiff for a minute before her arms wrap around my waist and she sags against me.

Something about this woman letting me give her strength makes me feel ten feet tall. Maybe because I suspect it’s not something she does with just anyone.

“It’s all going to be okay,” I murmur in her hair.

“How do you know?” There’s a shakiness in her voice which makes it seem like she’s desperate to believe me, but doesn’t.

“Because no matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere.”

She pulls back, her eyes slightly watery. She’s blamed her tears more often than not on her changing hormones, but a part of me wonders if it’s because I’m starting to break through those thick walls she’s built around herself.

She opens her mouth to say something, but then snaps it shut. Her deep-blue eyes hold me hostage, emotion twisting her pretty face before a knock interrupts whatever she was about to say.

I spin around right as the doctor opens the door.

“Hi Lexi.” The middle-aged doctor with thin, black-framed glasses glances at me and then does a double take. “You must be Dad. Has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like the football player Tyler Russell?”

I give her my fan smile. “I amTyler Russell.”

She lets out an awkward laugh and then puts her hand to her chest. “Oh my…I’m a huge fan. I’m Dr. Taylor. It’s so nice to meet you.”

“It’s always nice to meet a fan.”

She smiles wider and then thankfully focuses on Lexi. “How’ve you been feeling?”

“Tired,” Lexi says, her body sagging. “All the time.”

Dr. Taylor smiles kindly at her. “Totally normal at this stage. How’s your nausea? Any other symptoms?”

“My nausea usually starts after lunch through dinner time. There are days it’s not so bad and other days where it’s still awful.”

The doctor makes a note on the laptop she brought in with her and nods. “Again, normal. It should subside here soon since based on your last menstrual cycle you should be nearing the end of your first trimester. Most women see a drop in morning sickness once you pass that twelve to thirteen week mark. Very rarely does it linger into the second trimester, but it is possible. Any other symptoms or concerns?”

Lexi shakes her head.

“Okay, great. Let’s have you lie down and we’ll do an ultrasound to get some measurements.” She moves toward the machine in the room. “Since you’re far enough along, we should be able to do an external ultrasound, but if we can’t get a good view then we’ll do one transvaginally,” she explains, pointing to the white wand I noticed earlier.

I stare at the long, thin, white wand and can’t help but rub my hand over my mouth to hide my smirk. I’m way larger than that. My girl will have no problem with that thing if she has to use it.

Lexi lies back on the exam table, and Dr. Taylor has her push her pants down to the top of her pelvis. Lexi stares up at the ceiling while the doctor preps the wand with some gel and clicks a few keys on the ultrasound machine, her hands gripping the side of the table and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. I stand, ignoring Dr. Taylor’s glance my way, and focus on my girl. Lexi looks over at my movement, and the silent plea in her eyes nearly has me dropping to my knees wanting to promise her the whole world. I place my hand over hers, and she releases her grip on the table, flipping over her hand so we’re palm to palm, her dark blue eyes locked on mine. My other hand brushes her hair away from her forehead.

I bend over, resting my head against hers, my mouth next to her ear because my words are only for her. “It’s all going to be okay, Lexi. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”

I pull back to look in her eyes—to allow her to look into mine and see the sincerity in my gaze. She nods just as the doctor clears her throat.

“Ready?”

Lexi looks at Dr. Taylor. “We’re ready.”

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