Page 73 of Closing the Distance

The journey was torture, but I ended up right where I always belonged, feeling more loved and cherished than I ever knew possible.

FORTY-TWO

It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep in your own bed can do for your mental state. Fortunately, Lana seems to be a good little sleeper. She wakes to eat, but doesn’t cry much, and with Lexi and me switching off—I change Lana and then Lexi feeds her—we were both able to get a fair amount of rest. It was certainly better than any sleep I tried to get on that uncomfortable couch-cot-torture device the hospital had.

But with the dawning of a new day comes the realization that I can’t freeze out my brother forever.

Or maybe it was just eavesdropping on Lexi while she thought I was in the shower and hearing her tell our daughter how loved she was.

I want Lexi to know endless love—and not just from me, but my family too. Unfortunately, that’ll never happen unless my brother and I can work through the mess he made. It’ll make holidays challenging, not to mention the strain I know it’ll put on Lexi because somewhere deep down she’ll believe it’s her fault, and I refuse to let that happen.

So when I go downstairs to make Lexi breakfast, I ponder how best to approach the situation with Tanner. I’m staring at the scrambled eggs with ham while they finish cooking when Mom walks into the kitchen.She looks as tired as I should feel, like she’s the one who got up several different times over the course of the night. She takes me in and arches a brow. “You look more refreshed than I expected you to be.”

I throw a little cheese on the eggs and let it melt. “Lana’s a good baby, and Lexi and I make a great team.”

Her smile is soft as she hugs me from the side, and I move my arm to wrap around her shoulders, holding her close. “I’m so happy you two worked things out.”

“Me too.”

I break our embrace to plate Lexi’s eggs. “I need to get these up to Lex, and then I was thinking about running an errand.”

“I can take those up, and you can head out now if that would be helpful.”

My gut tightens, not sure what’ll come from what I’m about to do, but knowing I have to try. “Actually, I would appreciate you telling me where Tanner is staying.”

Her eyes widen. “Ty…”

I hold up a hand, already seeing the concern on her face. “I’m not gonna kill him. But we do need to talk.” I step closer, trying to implore with her to understand. “I can’t live with this hanging over our heads. Lexi deserves the kind of family we had as kids, and I know she’ll never get that until we resolve some of this.”

Her gaze darts to mine. “He’s staying at a hotel downtown. I’ll get you the address.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

She shakes her head. “I love you both. He messed up, but I think if it’s possible, he’s punishing himself more than you ever could.”

I don’t know about that. But if he’s willing to fix his mess, I’m willing to let him. It’ll be a start, although I don’t know if our relationship will ever fully recover from what he did.

I knock twice and wait. When the door opens, Tanner doesn’t look surprised to see me. “Mom call you?” I ask.

He nods and steps back, allowing me to enter. “She wanted to give me a heads-up in case you were planning to punch me in the face the second I opened the door.”

“It would be justified.”

He shuts the door behind me and spreads his arms out. “You’re right. So, take your shot. I deserve it.”

“Don’t be a fucking martyr, Tan.”

His arms drop to his sides and he lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m not trying to be a martyr, Ty.” He sits on the bed, his whole body seeming to drop like a ten-ton stone. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn’t. All I kept thinking was this woman came out of nowhere and she was going to take advantage of my brother.”

He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, and stares at his hands hanging lax between his legs. “She reminded me of Heather.”

“Who’s Heather?” I ask, confused.

He looks up at me, and there’s a brokenness in his gaze I’ve never seen before. “Heather was a woman I met last year. I fell hard and fast, so swept up in her I couldn’t see anything clearly.”

“Why is this the first time you’ve mentioned her?”

He breaks my gaze, but his body is hunched in shame. “Because there was no time. She swept into my life like a tornado and left it just as destroyed. By the time I realized what was happening, I was too embarrassed to mention her to anyone.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I bought a fucking $400,000 ring for her; that’s how far gone I was. I thought she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Then a week after I proposed, she dumped me for another player on my team, one who’d gotten a better contract and made more money. When I asked for the ring back, she’d already sold it to fund her lavish lifestyle while she sank her claws into my teammate. He was such an arrogant prick about it that I didn’t bother to tell him she was just using him the same way she used me. Then Lexi came into your life out of nowhere, and I couldn’t stomach the thought of you getting conned like that, of you feeling even half as much of a fool as I felt after Heather’s betrayal. It was wrong. I was wrong, and I can’t ever begin to apologize enough for that. In my head, she was Heather, and I was so fucking bitter and angry…and hurt still, that I just kept seeing Heather’s face whenever you’d mention Lexi.”

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