Page 46 of Closing the Distance

“Someone who grew up with two loving parents and a happy family. You can never understand what it feels like to be abandoned.”

“Maybe not, but I can empathize. I don’t have to experience something to know it was hard and it hurt you. But I also can’t understand being angry at someone when you haven’t taken the time to find out why she gave you up, which was why I wanted you to explain it to me so I can understand better. I’m not trying to piss you off or pick at old wounds. I’m really just trying to understand.”

I stare out the window. I can’t explain it to him because then it’ll reveal my greatest fear—that I’m unlovable.

That’s why I’ve never searched for her. I didn’t want to find out all my deepest fears were true. I would never recover from that kind of confirmation.

And I’d never recover if learning my parents never loved me made Ty question why he does.

“I need you to drop it,” I say, not looking away from the passing scenery.

He doesn’t respond, but when I glance over, his jaw is clenched tight, and he’s staring at the road like it’s personally offended him.

My stomach sours. This isn’t how I wanted today to go, but now I don’t know how to fix it.

We end up back at his place and he makes us lunch, but neither of us talk—both of us lost in our own heads.And then I feel it, clear as day, and drop my fork to my plate, my hand instantly going to my bump.

“What is it?” Ty asks, his face awash with concern.

My smile could probably light up his whole kitchen. “She moved. I felt her kick!”

He rushes around the counter and places his hands on my belly. I move them to where I felt her, and we both wait with bated breath.

“I don’t feel anything,” he says, but just as he finishes his sentence, she kicks right against his hand, not super hard but enough that he felt the subtle pulse under my skin. He stares at my stomach in awe and then drops his forehead to it.

His voice is low as he talks to our daughter, and tears well in my eyes. “Hey sweet baby. Do you hear your daddy? How you doin’ in there? Your mama and I can’t wait to meet you.”

Whatever frustration I felt earlier melts away at the sweet way he talks to my belly, the way he’s so obviously smitten with her already.

I grip his cheeks and pull his lips up to mine, kissing him through my tears. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to push you or ruin today.”

“I know.”

He pulls away, his brown eyes darker than normal. “I love you, Lexi, no matter what happened in your past. You believe me, right?”

I want to, and maybe that’s enough. “Yes,” I say, even if it’s not the complete truth.

I have to believe that someday I’ll believe his words.Because the alternative is unbearable.

TWENTY-SIX

The field explodes into chaos as the offense moves into position. I keep my eyes focused on the player on my side of the field that the quarterback seems to be favoring today.

Sure enough, the QB throws the ball straight to him, but he barely makes it two steps before I tackle him to the ground and bounce back up on my feet. The next three plays result in no forward progress, and it’s time to let our offense on the field to try to score some points.

We run to the sidelines as Dom slaps me on the back, a shit-eating grin on his face. “You’re crushing it out there today.”

I shoot him an arrogant smile. “I know.”

He puts a hand to his chest pads and throws his head back laughing. “An arrogant Ty. I never thought I’d see the day. You’re going to ruin your nice Canadian rep.”

“No way,” Gabe interjects. “Everyone knows Ty’s the nicest of us all. No one would ever buy that he’s arrogant.”

My grin turns more sincere, and I shake my head at these guys. Then my gaze moves up to the seat I had reserved for Lexi, next to Danae and Alayna. There she stands, with Alayna leaning in and whispering something as she points at the field—likely explaining the game to Lexi. Alayna’s been a die-hard fan of football ever since she became friends with Dom in high school. Lexi’s gaze moves to the sidelines, searching, until it lands on me. My smile grows to match hers, and my heart beats double time as some weird caveman desire flares through me when she turns around and shows off the back of the jersey she’s wearing. My name is stitched on the back, and a certainty I’ve only ever felt on the field pulses through me.

Someday that name is going to be hers.

---