Page 32 of Matteo

Unease fills me. “What did she do?”

His sigh is heavy. “We talked last night about you feeling guilty about Layla and her first Christmas in a motel. It’s my own fault because I was asking her to do more shopping for you. I promise it was just going to be some sketchbooks and pencils, and she… I’ll have to show you.”

CHAPTER 10

Amy

He looks so worried. Bitsy—Elizabeth—in yet another shopping escapade, has gone overboard. And he’s worried it will upset me. Now I feel guilty. It’s only me feeling that I don’t deserve all the nice things he and his mother have done for me. Like I have to worry about paying him back because nothing comes without a price.

Yet Matteo has repeatedly made it clear that he doesn’t expect something back. I finally understand. Bitsy and Matteo have so much money that the toys, clothes, phone, and even the car are pocket change to them. It’s needed, so why not?

“I’d like to see.” I push up from the table.

Sighing, he unstraps Layla from her highchair. She hooks an arm around his neck and lays her head on his shoulder. Seeing them together, Layla happy and content in a way she was never with her own father has me blinking back tears.

He leads the way, stopping in the second living room—or would it be called a sitting room? Oh my gosh, it looks like Christmas exploded in here.

Layla lets loose a squeal of happiness as she reaches for the tree. The tree was previously decorated in a muted kind of way. With pretty yet kind of boring green and red metallic balls interspersed with a few in silver.

Now, it’s an explosion of color with gorgeous ornaments. There are snowmen, cartoon characters in Christmas settings, penguins covered in glitter, and Santa Claus going down a chimney, eating cookies, and reading a long list. In between those new ornaments is garland in red, green, and silver, along with bright, multicolored lights. Below it all is a gorgeous quilted red velvet tree skirt covered in presents.

A faux fireplace with a mantel is now in the corner of the room. Above it is a large wreath with not just holly but bright red, green, and gold ornaments. On the mantel are white candles among faux tree garland wrapped in ribbon and white lights. Hanging from the mantel are bright red stockings trimmed in lace with our names on them. There’s one for me, Layla, and Matteo—all bulging with candy coming out of the top.

I’m awestruck. Unable to find words, I turn to Matteo, who looks as though he’s prepared for me to yell or something.

“This isn’t all of it.” He murmurs low.

“How could there be more?”

Sighing, “Follow me.”

I do so in a daze. The room used to be his office. It’s a corner room with large windows covered in thick, bright white curtains that are open. The desk, chairs, and filing cabinet are gone. Only two bookcases along the wall remain. In the corner, where the large windows are, is an easel and a large wooden workbench with multiple drawers. Along one of the walls are a dozen blank canvases in various sizes.

“This was a thought, but I didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed by all of this. It was just supposed?—”

This man wanted to give me exactly what I dreamed of, yet he also wanted to wait until I was ready to receive it. Without thought, I lay a hand on his arm. That spark is there again, only it doesn’t scare me as much as it did yesterday.

“Thank you. I love it.” I give into the need surging through me and go up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. It isn’t merely a spark, it’s so intense it wakes up every cell in my body for more. I want to find out what his lips feel like against mine.

No. Stop it. Enjoy this moment for what it is, and don’t hope for more when it wouldn’t be fair to him. “Really, thank you for everything.”

Oh my god, is he blushing? How is he real? “Well, it was technically my mom who did all the shopping and…”

“Yes, but it was because it was what you wanted. To give me and Layla a Christmas, even if it’s a few days late.” I squeeze his arm lightly before letting go.

Layla reaches for me. I take her and cuddle her close. “Want to go open presents? Yeah, let’s go tear some stuff up.”

Matteo

When she lets go of my arm, everything in me longs for more of her touch. Carrying her to bed earlier today was heaven and hell. Heaven at having her in my arms, and hell when I had to put her down.

I resented the fuck out of the call from the clinic, taking me away from her. Except it was a good thing. It kept me from opening my mouth and telling her everything.

It was far too soon for that. Even if I was certain she felt something for me, too. Amy might feel it, but it also scared her. She was afraid of trusting in anything—not just me.

That fucker really hurt her. Not simply her body but her mind. While she left him more than two months ago, she was simply surviving. There was no time for her to truly recover. To learn to trust in others and herself. That she wouldn’t find herself in the same place again, or worse, for trusting in the wrong person.

I had my first therapy session this morning with Hillary. I’m grateful she’s willing to do them by phone since I didn’t want to leave Amy and Layla alone. And in the future it’s more convenient for my schedule. Today was mainly an introduction.

---