Page 19 of Matteo

Horror runs through me at anyone becoming used to losing a child patient. I hold Layla tighter to me.

“I don’t know what happened exactly. I… I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t know where to go. So, I came back to Dallas since my family is here. And I don’t know…” he chuckles.

It’s a sad chuckle, and my heart goes out to the large, beautiful man who seems incredibly lost. The need to touch him is so strong I flex my hands to keep from doing it.

“I’ve been saying I don’t know a lot lately. Anyway, all I’ve heard was how many women my sister-in-law thought would be great for me. She had better friends than the women my mother is trying to shove down my throat.” He shakes his head, frustration clear on his beautiful face.

It’s clear he isn’t lying. “It’s just ridiculous someone like you would pick someone like me.”

He frowns. “What?”

Uncomfortable now, I search for the right words. “I’m fat. I graduated from high school at nineteen and from a community college when I was twenty-five. Because I have dyslexia and am poor and couldn’t afford many classes while I was waitressing.”

I flinch from thinking of Danny, but I can’t hide from it—him. “And I’m married. To a man who…”

“What did he do?”

“He was very abusive, and I… I don’t want to think of him. I can’t pretend to be your girlfriend when I’m married. It’s wrong. And it’s wrong to lie. Just be firm with your family.”

His sigh is heavy. “You’re right. I’ll figure something else out. Will you at least agree to be my housekeeper? I’m tired of eating delivery and protein shakes.” I want to say yes. He sees it. “Let me show you something.”

I follow him into a huge pantry with a washer and dryer on one side and multiple shelves with food on the other. There have to be more than forty different protein shakes. They’re stacked twelve to a small pallet. “You weren’t kidding.”

“I could show you my spend on takeout from the delivery app, except it’s too embarrassing.”

I notice there’s a little area of the large pantry on the food side filled with baby food, formula, snacks, bottles, plates, and bowels—more than she could eat or use in weeks or even months. He cared about Layla.

His mom might have bought the things at his order, but he cared enough to order them. And I don’t think I’ll be able to forget the way he was on his hands and knees trying to get her to crawl. The way he was gentle as he cleaned her while laughing at her making a mess.

“So, what do you say? Will you save me from those protein shakes?” Both eyebrows are up.

Sighing, I give in. It’s not like I really have many options. This place is a huge step up from the motel. Honesty compels me to warn him. “Okay. I’m not the best cook, though.”

His smile of relief hits me in the tummy, causing it to tumble a dozen times in a second. “You couldn’t be worse than me unless you burn the place down…”

Suddenly, his beautiful face goes tight. “I’m sorry. I should have given you more of a choice. You don’t have anywhere to go. If you want to go to a shelter or even if you want to rent an apartment. The pay would be sixty-five thousand a year and I’m good to give you a month up front. My mother is another option. Since her home has seven bedrooms with only her there, there’s plenty of room for you and Layla. And she loves Layla already.”

The words come out of him, tortured and clipped. Hearing it and watching how he’s having a hard time getting them out allows me not to burst into tears from fear he wants Layla and me out. Any other time, I would be twisting in agony that, once again, I wasn’t wanted. Except the grip he has on Layla’s little hand is tight.

Only I have to know for sure. “Do you want us to leave?”

He shakes his head fast. “No. But the right thing to do is give you all the options you deserve to have. I don’t want you here because you feel it’s your only choice.”

Matteo, echoing my thoughts of only minutes ago, is why I’m staying…that’s a lie. He is the reason why I’m staying. I feel safe with him. It started when I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me with concern at the clinic. Even though it’s a dim, fuzzy memory, I knew he would help me, not hurt me.

His admission when I woke up this morning was raw with honesty. He wanted to take care of us the way he wished someone took care of him. His smile as he talked about Layla and now seeing him with her is another reason.

The way he didn’t do anything but chuckle when she made a mess. The way he didn’t flinch at the idea of bringing me here to take care of me. Or how, although his feelings were hurt by my fear of him—he didn’t take offense or tell me that I shouldn’t be afraid of him. Even with his offer of me leaving, he’s giving me the room I need while making it clear he’s here if I need him.

I would never go to a shelter. A waitress I worked with told me about a shelter after Danny gave me a black eye. She encouraged me to take my own pillows because her sister’s daughter caught a bad case of lice while she was there. I don’t want Layla in that environment.

An apartment should be appealing, except it’s not. All alone in an apartment sounds scary. What if Danny finds us?

As awesome as his mother sounds, having her attention focused on me and Layla is as scary as being alone. What if I make a mess or drop something? While this condo screams money from how large and nice everything is, Matteo has made it clear he isn’t bothered by the mess. That and here it’s comfy and cozy to me. It feels safe here.

Matteo deserves to know. “I want to stay. Is it bad because I’m hiding behind you? Danny’s family has connections. If they find me before I file for divorce, they and Danny could make my life hell. I do want a divorce as soon as I can afford it. But he…”

My stomach twists just saying the words. “He told me if I left him, he would file for full custody of Layla. But he doesn’t want her. It’s only to hurt me.”

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