Page 96 of The Desire

“Oh God, did you think I was here for Elouise? Damn, Remington, I knew from that first meeting she was off limits. The way you looked at her and spoke to me, it was a clear message of back the fuck off. It was obvious she was never just your nanny. Still, I called her when you weren’t around to make sure, but it was obvious she had no interest in me. Christ, you were at every appointment after that initial one, even though you said you wouldn’t be, and didn’t move more than a foot away from her. And I’m thankful because then I met Paulini soon after.” Who is already on her knees next to El and talking to her in hushed tones.

“I’m so confused.” El is looking up to me from the couch.

“You and me both, baby, you and me both.”

Everyone then just remains silent while Paulini and Drew check over El who is now sitting up and sipping some water slowly.

The last few days are streaming through my thoughts. It's all piecing together now.

Freaking Tori and her interference were the catalyst for all this derailing. But although I’m frustrated and still must fix this, I can’t be mad at her. She’s right. We needed a push, and in true Tori style, she just used the biggest bulldozer she could find.

“Elouise appears fine, perhaps just a dip in her blood sugar or a panic attack. Just needs to take it easy and perhaps see your doctor for a full checkup to be sure.” Paulini stands while Drew is packing up her doctor bag and then rises to his feet and places his arm around her waist.

“Thank you both, and my apologies for the way I acted. It seems there was a misunderstanding on my part.” I put my hand out to shake both of theirs, and by this stage, Tori is sitting next to her best friend, and it looks like they are arguing in whispers.

“I’ll take Elouise home now so she can rest.” And while both doctors are nodding at me, behind me, I hear both female voices in unison.

“No!” El sounding very determined.

“Yes!” Tori using her bossy voice, trying to make her point too.

“Good luck with that,” is all I get from Drew before he leans forward and quietly in my ear tells me that she is okay to stay for the night if El feels up to it. They are here and will keep an eye on her. Then he steps away and leaves the room with Paulini.

It’s then that I look at Nic who has been silently standing to the side of the commotion, and without saying a word, he knows what I need him to do.

Walking to Tori, he takes her hand, not giving her a choice to stand up.

“Time to go back to the dinner and see if we can get through the rest of the night without any more attention on us.” The way he looks down at Tori, I know that is his way of warning her to be on her best behavior for the rest of the night. “Do you think you can manage that, my crazy one.”

Reluctantly, she blows a kiss to Elouise and playfully slaps Nic on his chest. “Whatever do you mean?” Both of them laugh as they walk out, and Nic closes the door behind him.

The air in the room starts to feel heavy, and my mind is racing.

From behind me there is a fragile voice from the woman I love, and her question is a good place to start.

“Who is she, Rem? And why is she here?” Tears are welling in her eyes, and I don’t want her to pass out on me again from feeling so anxious. I caused that panic attack, and I feel like such an idiot for letting this go this far.

Moving quickly, I sit next to her, lifting her up and placing her in my lap. I need her close and to be able to stop her from running if she panics.

“Bold of you to assume I’m ready to touch you.” Trying her best to be brave, El sits up, tall and rigid.

“Stupid of you to think I can’t tell that you need to be touching me as much as I need to be holding you.” Kissing her cheek, I’m laughing on the inside at her trying so hard to dismiss me, yet her body is slowly softening into mine.

Not waiting any longer, I start.

“That woman out there is Cherie, a woman I should have told you about months ago, the first night you moved into my home. I knew then that there was no way I could walk away from you, and I should have been honest from the beginning.”

“Yes, you should have.” Turning her face, she looks me straight in the eye.

“But you have to know deep down she’s not a prostitute, and I would never cheat on you, and with a hooker of all people. Come on, El, do you truly think that low of me?” There is still hurt there that she jumped to that conclusion, but we can work on that later.

“I’m sorry. It was stupid, but why couldn’t you just have told me? You have to admit it looked sleazy, that place you went to. Running off whenever things got too tough emotionally between us and openly admitting you were going to see a woman I had never heard of. And then I see you walk into a building next to a strip club that is obviously far from a club and looks like I imagine a brothel would look. Then when I challenge you on it, you say nothing… and walk away.” Nothing is holding back the tears now, and they run freely down her cheeks.

“Please don’t cry, baby. I promise it’s nothing like that.” Taking the pocket square from my suit, I dab her face, trying not to ruin her makeup that she has obviously worked hard on for tonight. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but Cherie is a counsellor that I have been seeing for over ten years on and off. The way she runs her sessions with me is through us boxing together, and she makes me spill everything that is trapped inside my head while I’m busy trying to stop my body from being hurt. She is a kickass woman who has worked hard in life to get where she is and gives so much to the street kids in that area, trying to teach them a better life than drugs and street gangs. That’s why the gym is located in that part of town.” Before I can keep going, she starts firing questions at me.

“You box with a woman, like hit her? I know you, Rem, you could never hurt a woman. How do you cope with that? How does that even work, talking and boxing at the same time? You know, like mentally, how does it help you?” El is almost running out of breath trying to ask everything that is circling in that beautiful brain of hers.

“We have plenty of time to talk all this through, but I want to make sure you understand this. I have never slept with Cherie, never wanted to, never thought of it. I’ve never kissed her, and if I did, it would feel like kissing a sister. Also, I haven’t slept with another woman since that night in Rome where you seduced me and stole my heart. I never told you, but I knew that night that you were meant to be mine. I just didn’t know how to make that happen without both our worlds falling down around us. But the universe handed me the answer in a sweet dark-haired little boy who then made us fall in love with him.”

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