Page 88 of The Desire

The dots on the screen dance, telling me he is replying, then stop, then dance again, then stop. My heart is beating fiercely, waiting for the words to appear, but then nothing.

My tears dropping onto his pillow, I pray to whoever will listen, Please, bring him home.

I don’t how long it’s been, but exhaustion finally pulls me to close my eyes, but the moment they do, my phone chimes, and I open them with such speed, I see a reply from Rem that makes me cry harder.

Rem: I know. Sleep.

What does that even mean? And once again, sleep has slipped away, and I curl into a ball, trying to overanalyze three little words.

When I have turned so many scenarios over in my head, finally the only thing I tell myself is that I need to get up tomorrow and do what Tori said.

Fight for my man, and more importantly, I need to fight for myself and what I need.

Which is answers and Rem.

In that order!

REMINGTON

Last night was tough, and all I wanted to do this morning was book a session with Cherie, but I know that’s not healthy. I need to learn how to cope with emotional turmoil on my own if I’m ever going to be able to stand up and be in a relationship with Elouise.

Last night, I was trying to rationalize everything in my head, but no matter what she said or did, I still kept coming back to the same conclusion.

I love her.

We all make mistakes, and Christ, I’ve made many in my life too.

But to get through this, we need to sort through her fear of never being good enough for me and my past trauma of a relationship that scared me.

Pulling my jacket on, phone in my pocket, I’m picking up my wallet when the banging on my door has me reacting by reaching for my gun from the holster under my jacket.

Before I make it to the door to check the peephole, I hear Tori’s voice. “Hope you are decent because I’m coming in.” Luckily, I was, because the door lock opens, and she’s halfway into the room as I drop the hand from my gun.

“Tori, what the fuck? Do you know how dangerous it is to barge into the room of an armed man? Who the hell gave you access to my room key?” My mood was already bad, but this has got my blood boiling, and I have no patience for whatever she is about to unload on me.

If it had been one of the guys who burst in here like that, they would be getting a lot more of a mouthful of colorful language than what I just said.

“Do you forget who I am?” She stands there with her right hand on her hip and her left hand in the air, waving her engagement finger at me. “Boss man’s fiancée. Plus, I have very good persuasive skills. You should know that by now.”

“Is that the same as saying you can be a pain in the ass?” I’m not in the mood to try to be diplomatic this morning.

“Whatever. Now let’s get to work, there are things that need to be sorted.” She makes herself at home at the small table in the room. I could have booked a suite, but what for? It’s not like I want to be entertaining here or am on holidays. I just needed a bed and a place to shower. That’s it.

“Why here? We have a big fancy office building that Nic pays for us to work in. So, tell me, what the fuck is going on and why are you really here?” In the back of my mind, I’m thinking Nic could have warned me that Tori was on her way here ready to ambush me about something. I would bet money it’s about El, and although I greatly want to know everything that was discussed last night, it would be a really bad idea to enter into this conversation with Tori.

“God, you really are an asshole sometimes.” She frowns at me, waiting for me to react, but I don’t.

“Fine, okay, here it is. I’m here because there was no way you were coming into the office today, and I know you will ignore my phone calls. So, in point form, this is your morning brief. Lou and Blaise were fine last night. Flynn is coming into the office at some stage today, so it looks like business as usual. Tomorrow night we will all be attending the charity dinner as per schedule. You will need to be there to protect Flynn, so do not even try to back out of this. And before you ask, yes, Lou will be there. You will be nice and polite. Do you understand!” By the time she is finished, she stands in front of me, hands on hips and not about to take any crap from me.

“Since when do I take orders from you, Tori? I’m head of security here. I make the decisions on making sure Flynn is protected, not you or anyone else. Has he even agreed to this, being paraded around like everything is normal in the world for him? Because clearly, it’s not, and if you’ve spoken to him, you will know he is vulnerable.”

“I’ve already been to see Flynn. He agrees that he should be out there operating as normal so the media have less to talk about. If he is doing boring things, like work, charity events, and so on, then someone will become far more entertaining, and the focus will shift quickly. That is what the PR department have told him, and they report to the big boss man too. Just like the rest of us.” Picking up her bag, she starts to walk toward the door to leave, when she turns to have her final say, which is normal.

“So, if you want to talk like work colleagues, just do your job, Rem, and find out who did this to Flynn. Do it quickly and make sure you are there to protect him and the rest of us Friday night.” Hesitating a little, the tone of her voice drops to a softer tone. “But if you want the advice of a friend, be at the dinner on Friday night. I promise it will be worth your while.”

Opening the door, all I can hear is her mumbling as she walks out of the room. “Fucking useless men. Why do I have to clean up their messes…” Her voice disappears as the door slams shut.

What did she even mean?

---