Page 74 of The Desire

And before El can answer, I throw my answer out there. “Because we were both busy last night, fucking for hours and testing out your sex castle for you.”

The look on El’s face is sheer panic and she instantly turns the phone toward me so neither Tori or Nic are able to see how red her face is and how much she is about to kill me.

“Yeah, right, now stop being an asshole and tell me all about it.” I doubt she means for me to tell her about the sex because Tori totally missed how serious my statement was, but Nic’s face appearing behind her does not look so easily fooled.

Why I said that I don’t know, but I think part of it is that deep down inside, hiding this feels wrong, and I don’t want what we are sharing to be a dirty secret.

Or maybe it’s the part of me that I can never turn off. Trying to be in control of everything, including the uncontrollable.

Chapter Sixteen

ELOUISE

I’m sitting on the plane heading home from four of the most unexpected but incredible days. I still can’t help but think back to Rem just blurting out to Tori that we had sex. Thankfully, she didn’t even think that was at all possible and dismissed it as him joking with her.

I was so mad with him that it took me a good hour or so to calm down, but as per usual, he started sweet-talking me, or was it dirty talk, I can’t remember, because they tend to be the same most of the time. Both of them turn me into mush and have me falling under his spell.

Regardless, after that hiccup, the next couple days were sheer heaven. Not a soul knew us up in Scotland, so we could do and say what we liked the whole time and not have to be careful about who could hear or see us. It was the first real feeling of new love. Not that we are using the L word, but you can tell it’s simmering just under the surface. Because it’s not like we’ve just met, and these feelings have been building for a while. My head and heart feel so light, but sadly, all good things must come to an end.

It’s so hard leaving it behind and coming back to the reality of home.

Although I can’t wait to see Blaise and get one of my adorable little-boy hugs. We have been FaceTiming him several times a day, and he is feeling much better and I’m sure is being spoiled rotten by Sally. Lord help Nic and Tori when they have children. I think that will be the final factor that will have Sally moving to London permanently and just visiting Australia for holidays. She is trying to juggle living in both places now, but as she gets older, I don’t think the long-haul flights will be so easy. Not that I would know, I’ve never done it, the wedding flight will be the first. Although I’m not sure flying on a private jet really gives any of us a right to complain.

Rem is already in work mode and engrossed in his computer, but this time, instead of sitting across the cabin from him, I’m so close that every so often his hand slips onto my thigh and either gives it a light squeeze or just runs up and down my leg a few times, letting me know he is still there and not ignoring me, checking that I’m okay.

It’s one of the things I love about the way we connect. Words aren’t needed. Touch is everything.

His smile when I look across almost makes me melt into the rich leather seat. I know what I want and what we have agreed on, but I’m not sure how well I’m going to be able to pull this off. The wall I had built between us has fallen and is just dust on the ground, but that means I don’t have anything to hide behind when he looks at me like this and other people are around. And even if he tries, I don’t know that he’ll be able to stop looking at me like he’s about to devour me the moment we are alone. It makes my skin sizzle, and I’m sure my face gives away that I feel the same.

We need to work hard at this, otherwise our worlds will be blowing up before we know it. And I can’t let that happen!

Without making it obvious, I know I need to avoid Tori and the others, and social occasions are certainly off the list for the next few weeks anyway. It will give me time to get better at just being the nanny and not the woman who is falling hopelessly in love with her boss.

As we start our descent, I close my eyes and pray to whoever will listen, please let me keep this man who makes my heart sing and that everything will turn out okay.

Looking back now over the last few weeks, life has been amazing in our little bubble at home. Blaise is too young to understand the body language between Rem and me, and thank goodness he is a heavy sleeper. Because as much as we try to keep quiet, it’s not easy when you have a man pounding you into his bed every night like it’s going to be our last time together. Or how Rem takes great pleasure in trying to break the record of how many times he can make me orgasm. My appetite has increased significantly since we got home from Scotland, and not just for the food that I need to keep up my energy.

We have managed to make it work so that if Tori is coming over, then Rem is at work, out with the guys, or even just gone for a run. That way it makes it easier for me, and for him too really, not to react to each other while she is here. But tonight is going to be a huge challenge. Tori just messaged to say she and Nic are on their way over and they’re bringing pizza for all of us, and the guys are coming too. Something about a big football match that is on tonight that they want to watch and decided it was time to get Blaise into learning about the game.

I don’t care one bit about football, or any sport really, but what I do care about is how the hell I’m going to get through a whole night of a testosterone-fueled sport, alcohol-fueled best friend, and an excitable little four-year-old who absolutely loves all his dad’s buddies being here.

Especially since he’s been finding it far easier to understand them and communicate in some English that he is learning so quickly.

Working with him every day and watching Rem being so patient with him, giving him all the encouragement with his new words, has been so gratifying. I don’t know why Rem had been so against being a father, because in my eyes, he is becoming a great one. He’s still learning French in his spare time, which he doesn’t really have much of, and then it makes me laugh seeing Blaise being the patient one with Rem as he tries to speak to either of us in French.

The major benefit to his whole learning experience is the preschool I found is a dual-language preschool. So not only do they teach English, but they teach in French too. He is learning to become bilingual, but more importantly, he is making friends who understand him too, gaining great social skills that are important before he starts school next year.

I told Rem over the phone that first day I took Blaise to preschool that I need to give him some of the money back because I now get two days a week where I have several hours in the middle of the day on my own. Of course, he refused, which resulted in a heated argument between us and me hanging up on him after telling him I’m not a charity case. But before I even had time to calm down from the phone call, he was loudly coming through the front door, up the stairs, and pinning me against the wall in the bedroom where I was tidying up some clothes. He kissed every objection about the money out of me until I understood that no girlfriend of his is ever to feel like a charity case.

What that day did teach us, though, was that we had two days a week with no little ears or eyes in the house, and the sexting started the moment Rem left the house in the morning, telling me what he had planned for the day and that I needed to be ready.

One morning, as I arrived home from dropping off Blaise, there was a package on the front doorstep. A plain black box with a gold ribbon. A white rose slipped under the bow and a card that read:

To the woman who spins my world and calms my soul xx

Hurrying inside and rushing up to our bedroom, because no, I haven’t slept in the guest room since we came home from Scotland, I gently pulled the ribbon, and the bow slid free from the box. Opening it up, I found gold tissue paper and a note on a card.

I want you in this and waiting for me.

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