Page 73 of The Desire

“Maybe so, but it’s not what they want, so we need to make sure we are giving them a gold-star stay. Anyway, I have to run, I have a ton of work to do. Let me know when the report is finished. And thanks for being so quick and thorough, as always. I would be lost without you, buddy.”

“Will do, and it’s no problem. Just doing my job and keeping everything under control.” Well, sort of. In my work life anyway. Let’s just leave it at that.

Getting straight into finishing the report so I don’t have to leave El to sit around being bored all day, I enter the last piece of information and write the email to Nic, Flynn, and Forrest. I cc Tori in on it, because while it’s information she doesn’t directly need, we always want her to be involved in the big decisions happening in what will shortly be her company too when she and Nic marry. After making a quick call to Nic again to explain a few things, I’m finally done, for now.

Hanging up on the phone call, I sit back and take in the pretty picture in front of me. I could get used to this, El relaxing while I work away, making her life easier. Thoughts of Blaise then drift in too. He loves Elouise, and she’s right in that we don’t want to confuse him too soon. He is used to her being in the house and knows her as his nanny and teacher but changing that to a stepmum is a huge step.

Alarm bells go off in my head at the word stepmum. What am I even thinking about? This is not how I mapped out my life. I wasn’t going to have any children, never wanted to settle down. Now I’m here looking at the woman who has completely taken every bit of control of my world from me, just by being herself.

I didn’t ask for Blaise to come screaming into my life and turning everything upside down, but he did, and I couldn’t love him more if I tried. He has brought so much fun into my house, and it finally feels like a home, in all its mess and noise. But I can never thank him enough for being the catalyst to bring Elouise into both our lives. I would have sat back and just longed for her from a distance, never saying a thing and watching her find some stuffy guy to step in and date her.

Another teacher that would marry her and give her a mediocre life, while I continued to be out there jumping off cliffs without a harness because I’m emotionally inept. I don’t even know why I can’t get past my lack of ability to be involved in a long-term adult relationship. I’m a grown man and should be able to move forward after such an awful experience, but for some reason I’m stuck. And for years after my only relationship that I really thought might have been something, I haven’t even wanted to try to pursue a woman.

But then Elouise pushed her way into my world that night in Rome, and even after agreeing it was nothing, she had already gotten under my skin, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I tried so hard to keep it in the friend zone, but once I was at my most vulnerable the night Blaise arrived, there was no holding back the feelings that had been simmering silently inside me.

Still, I didn’t believe I was right for her because I couldn’t give her anything in return, until that night in my office where we couldn’t hold back any longer. But I wasn’t going to let my heart get involved, thinking if I took her from behind and didn’t look her in the eyes while I fucked her that it could be just another one-night stand. Until the moment I slid inside her and I knew it was game over. Elouise had already charmed me with her intellect and witty sense of humor that I was seeing more freely the more I spent time with her, but the moment our bodies touched again, I knew she was it.

No woman has ever ignited me the way she does, and for the first time, I am thinking about wanting more.

I might not have been given the choice about being a father, and I’m trying to learn on the run. With Elouise, she is a choice I am making to find happiness and explore the emotional connection that is so strong between us. And although I think we should tell everyone else, part of me is happy with the time it’s going to give me to make sure I can stand up and be the man that she deserves. Financially I can provide for her, but it’s the emotional side where I need to push myself to make sure I’m not the selfish single man I have been for the last thirty-six years of my life.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Elouise’s soft voice breaks me from my inner thoughts, startling me a bit.

“Like what?” I stand from the desk and close my laptop, sliding it into my bag.

“Like you are trying to figure out how to solve world peace or something as big as that. Is there a problem at the office?” She swings her legs around in front of her and lets them touch the floor in front of the window seat, closing her book and setting it beside her.

“Nothing like that, just enjoying the beauty in front of me.” I walk toward her and run my hand over her head and down her softly falling hair. “How about we head out and do some sightseeing for the rest of the day? I don’t want you heading home and the only thing you saw is a pub in a little Scottish village and a rundown castle.” Taking her hand in mine, I pull her up off the seat.

“Don’t forget the sex dungeon, because I know I won’t.” Both of us laugh as she bends down to put her boots back on, and I grab my work bag to hide it out of sight upstairs. Although I have high security passwords on it and everything is stored on a server, not this computer, I’m still not taking any chances.

Taking El under my arm, we walk out to the car. I can feel the vibration of her phone in her jacket pocket that I’m carrying for her.

“Have you spoken to Tori today?” I ask, just remembering the message that Nic asked me to pass on a few hours ago.

“No,” is all she replies as we reach the car.

Opening the door and settling her in the passenger seat, I pass her the coat and smile at her. “Well, I suggest you do, because Nic already mentioned that she was worried that she hadn’t heard from you this morning.” Closing the door, I walk around to the driver’s side, and as I’m sliding into the leather seat of the Audi, I can’t help myself. “She’s probably just found out about the sex room and is worried I have you tied up and I’m doing naughty things to you.”

“Stop it, Rem, don’t make me laugh. You know why I haven’t called her. I’m terrible at lying.”

Laying my hand on the center console, she places hers in mine for comfort.

“I’ve got you, babe. FaceTime her while we are driving and she won’t be game to ask you anything too bad while I’m with you, surely.”

I start the engine and have just turned the car down through the tree-lined driveway as I hear El’s phone connect and Tori’s voice screaming into the phone. “Lou! Why haven’t you been answering my messages!” And there it is, the firecracker that is Tori.

“Good day to you too.” El turns the camera toward me. “Say hello to Rem.”

“Hi, Tori. God, you two make me laugh the way you talk to each other.” I look sideways and give her a wave before El turns the phone back toward herself.

“Shut up, Rem. Right, now both of you need to tell me what the hell is going on in my castle.” I can’t tell if she is frustrated with El or nervous about the purchase of the property being in jeopardy.

“Our castle.” And that is when I hear Nic’s deep voice in the background.

“Hey, boss,” I call out and chuckle at Tori who is now telling him to butt out.

“Semantics, Nicholas. Anyway, start talking, you two, and why wasn’t I the first to know?” Tori continues, and I can hear Nic groaning beside her.

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