Page 60 of The Desire

“I might be older than you, but I will never be your daddy. Because a daddy shouldn’t be picturing you naked and tied to that four-poster bed of yours while he does some really… dirty… things… to you.” Before I can process what he just said, Rem is already stepping back from me, about to walk away.

I gulp down air to try to keep breathing while my body just wants to slide down the wall into a puddle on the ground. But I can’t let him think he can say shit like that when we agreed no flirting. To be honest, that was way more than flirting; he was telling me straight out he wants to fuck me on that bed, and I can’t let that happen.

“That might be your kink, but it’s not mine.” Instead, I just add fuel to the fire.

“Oh, do tell then, El, what are your kinks?” He’s about to step closer to me, but before he can, I panic and scurry off toward the front door.

“Not something that you need to know. I’m leaving.” I wave over my shoulder as my feet carry me as fast as they can to the car. My cheeks are pink from embarrassment because I don’t even know that I have any kinks. Before Rem turned up in my life, I was a missionary girl, and that was the only kind of sex I’d had. But that night when he bent me over his desk was something I could definitely get used to.

Driving into town, my mind is running wild with all the visions I’m imagining of being tied to that bed while Rem ravages my body. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough to stop him from seeing how turned on I was. Maybe I need to visit one of the old shops here and see if they sell the old-fashioned chastity belt that I can put on and throw away the key until I get back to London. Because right now that’s the only thing I can think of that is going to keep our no-sex pact intact while we’re here. But then again, knowing Rem, he would just find a way to bust through it. I have a feeling that he is the kind of man that when he wants something, nothing will stop him. Not in a bad way, but in a strong sexual way that makes my knees weak and my underwear wet.

If only Blaise were here. He is the perfect wet blanket on any sparks that start flying between Rem and me. Sally has sent us a few messages already with pictures of Blaise happily playing with Broderick. You can tell he has a cold with his little puffy eyes but looks fine and isn’t missing us at all. If only Tori knew that by getting Sally to babysit, what a predicament she’s put both Rem and me in.

What a mess my life is.

I should be living the dream, being paid a gazillion pounds to spend all day with one adorable little boy, being driven around by a chauffeur and given all the luxuries of Rem’s home and lifestyle. But instead, I’m on the edge of this feeling of not knowing if I should jump, and if I do, when should I take the plunge. Or should I take my most obvious and sensible option of moving away from the edge of the cliff, or better still, turning and running away.

Pulling into a parking spot, I feel like I just need to walk for a few minutes and get some crisp cold Scottish air into my lungs. Clear my head of everything… well, not everything, just him. The broody English man that keeps invading my thoughts.

My calm head lasts all of an hour when my phone vibrates in my pocket with a message.

Rem: I need you back here now!

Rem: You are never going to believe what I’ve just found.

My mind of course jumps to the worst conclusion.

Elouise: If it’s a dead body then I’ll see you in London.

Because there is no way I’m paid enough money to cope with something like that.

Rem: It’s not. Just get your ass back here now.

No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to get away from him. But in saying that, Rem is not one to be a drama queen like Tori, so for him to want me back at the castle, I know he is freaking out about something.

Elouise: On my way, but it better be worth it.

Rem: Hmmm, I’ll let you be the judge of that…

Great, now I’m curious and anxious at the same time.

But either way, I’m going back inside those four walls that are not nearly far enough away from my biggest problem in life but also my greatest desire.

Chapter Thirteen

REMINGTON

Idon’t know how to be around Elouise without a buffer.

I’m a strong man, and when I put my mind to something, I can be stubborn as all hell. But that also goes for when I want something, I don’t walk away from it either. Or more correctly, her!

I want her, badly, and it’s getting harder to stay away from her the more I get to know the real El.

My first impression of her was a shy woman that lacked a little confidence when in a situation where she felt out of her depth, like when she first walks into a society event with hundreds of people she doesn’t know. The snobby rich society women look at her like she doesn’t belong, but sure enough, she proves them wrong as soon as she opens her beautiful mouth and speaks with intelligence and kindness. But when it was just us as a group, her beautiful personality truly started to shine, and she actually has a spark inside that she needs to show the world more. I see it every time she is with Blaise, and I can imagine it’s the same when she is with her class at school, but I do feel she lets it dim a little when she is in unfamiliar territory. I’m just glad I’m no longer in her unfamiliar territory.

My restraint in all areas of my life is top notch, but for some reason, she weakens my strength in ways that I have never struggled before.

I need to snap out of this Elouise trance and do what I need to for Nic, or more simply put, just do my job.

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