Page 35 of The Desire

It’s a strange feeling to say I trust him with my son, but I just don’t trust him with my nanny. Ughh, I hate that word, but I suppose I need to accept that’s what she is at the moment.

Driving up my street, I’m reminded that I love my house, but there’s one thing that still annoys me to this day about it, that I don’t have a garage to drive straight into. Especially now that I have Blaise, it would be nice to be able to get him out of the weather. Summer isn’t too bad, but winter and the rain is going to be painful going forward. I drive in through the security gates and park at the front door, and before I even have a chance to get out of the driver’s seat, Elouise is out of the car and coming around to get Blaise out.

“I’ll take him.” My tone is short with her. It shouldn’t be, but I’m still feeling agitated at the way Dr. Douche looked at her.

She might not be mine, but she’s not going to be his either. She deserves better than a man who is trying to hit on her in the middle of an appointment.

It’s surprising how quickly Blaise feels comfortable with me, and I know he doesn’t really know me, but there is something between us that I can’t explain. I just want to protect him, and he trusts me to take care of him. I know we have a long way to go, but it’s a good start.

The day was long, and I let Elouise take control once we got inside. It didn’t take her long to feed, bathe, and get him into bed. Listening to her talking to him, I might not be able to understand what she is saying, but what I can tell is how gentle she is with him. His little laugh coming from the bathroom when he was playing in the bath made me smile. Although he has had a difficult time lately, he is still happy, and that makes me feel content that we are doing the right thing so far. It’s the moment he goes quiet that I’ll be worried, because one thing I have learned from my niece and nephew is they never shut up. Every time my sister is FaceTiming me, I can hardly hear her. She tunes them out, but I don’t seem to have that skill obviously.

Standing in the kitchen, I have two glasses of red wine poured, waiting for Elouise when she is finished upstairs. But very quickly, I’m dismissed when she only comes down to tell me she’s going to bed. The problem is that she has already changed and is in silk pajama shorts and a singlet that hugs every curve in her body. Her ass cheeks peek out the bottom of the shorts as she turns and walks back toward the stairs.

My brain takes me back to a place I promised myself I had moved on from, and the tingle in my hands reminds me of what it felt like to have that ass gripped tightly as I took her hard.

Fuck, this is going to be a long twelve months.

The first glass of red on the counter, I down in one go, the second following straight after, and then I pour a strong scotch to take my mind off her as I open my computer and throw myself into work. I might not be in the office at the moment, but it doesn’t stop me from overseeing everything. I have Ian, my second-in-charge, standing in for me, but I can’t completely walk away. It’s what calms me. Being in control is what I need to settle the craziness that lives in my head on a daily basis. My mom called me hyperactive as a child, and I don’t know if I was or wasn’t, you didn’t get things diagnosed back then, but all I know is I have a lot of energy that I need to work off daily. Otherwise, if I can’t either physically or mentally put my body to work in some way, then I feel this rush that I can’t keep calm. It’s why I love to do dangerous things that take my body to the extreme and push the adrenaline over the edge.

Because when I’m done, the peace that comes is actually what I crave.

No one knows that. They just think I’m an adrenaline junkie, but it’s more than that.

I’m chasing the calm that I can’t ever seem to find.

I hope that Blaise hasn’t inherited the same trait, because two of us in the same house isn’t going to work. For the short time I spent with his mother, she seemed relaxed and lived a calm life. Fingers crossed that Blaise is more his mother than me.

For all our sakes.

“Flynn, I don’t give a flying fuck if you think you can handle it, I’ve heard that before. Let Ian do his job, and you don’t respond to that email until we know more. Got it?”

His mumble in my ear that I’m being a prick is a standard answer.

“Tell me something new. Now message me once it’s sorted.” I hang up on Flynn before I lose my shit with him.

I can’t believe Flynn was stupid enough to get caught on film having sex with the daughter of one of our biggest competitors, and the video has ended up in the hands of someone who is claiming to be a wannabe Insta influencer. Who is now trying to blackmail him and the Darby Hotel company to stop them from posting it online. Ian is busy getting everything on the background of this woman, as well as talking to Felisha Kentwall and her father, who have received the same threats and want it shut down just as quickly as we do.

Broderick has also been called back from Australia where he is visiting with his girlfriend who is also Nic’s mother. If anyone can get behind the scenes and dig up information, it’s Nic’s private investigator. I wish we didn’t have a need for him in our business, but things keep cropping up that call for his expertise, which is the type we deliberately don’t ask too many questions about.

Although the Kentwall family want everything buried quickly too, I don’t trust them. I mean, how the hell did the video get leaked in the first place, and who set up the camera in her hotel room? There is more to this than what is showing on the surface, that I’m certain of. It is way too convenient to be happening with one of our competitors.

Fucking Flynn! I suppose I should be grateful it hasn’t happened before now.

This morning has been what I needed, a crisis that I can jump on to, to help Ian sort out. I hardly got any sleep last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about Elouise and the way Dr. Douche was looking at her; it lit me on fire, and I wanted to claim her again, which is all kinds of dangerous. And even after wanking myself off to get the image of her perfect little ass in those silk shorts out of my head, I still couldn’t shake it. So now I’m cranky and pissed off at both this situation Flynn has put us in and myself for not being able to clear Elouise from my wank bank. This never happens to me. I have many hot bodies I have slept with, and yet I can’t picture a single one, and the only image that keeps going through my brain on repeat is my nanny.

“Thought you were on leave.” Her soft voice coming from the door has me looking up.

“I am, this is what leave looks like,” I snap at her a little too quickly. The truth is I’m never fully on leave.

“Okay then… well, sorry to disturb you, but Blaise is going to need more clothes and ones that fit him. I’ve looked at what he arrived with, and it’s not much.”

Why is she bothering me with this? That’s what I’m paying her a heinous amount of money for.

“I’ll give you my personal shopper’s details,” I say before looking back at the screen with the problem that Flynn created and Ian is trying to sort out. A video I don’t want to have to sit through again, of that I’m certain.

“Oh my God, you are such an ass. He is four, he doesn’t need a damn suit. He needs play clothes.” Hearing her feet getting closer to my desk, I look up at a woman who is about to let loose with some rant that I’m not in the mood for today.

“Elouise, sort it out. It’s what I pay you for.” Standing abruptly, my chair rolls back quickly, slamming into the wall.

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