Page 22 of The Desire

“It’s just a lot. Sure, I know how to look after kids, but I’m not a parent either, Rem. I don’t know how to raise a child. I know how to teach them, and I can help him with his English so the two of you can communicate, but you can’t just pay me to become his mother while you don’t change any part of your life.”

I can see he is getting agitated. “That’s not what I’m asking you to do!” he huffs at me.

“I beg to differ.” My voice holds a little too much sarcasm in it.

“I gave you time off. I know I will have to find a professional nanny for those limited times, and when they aren’t here, who do you think will look after him when neither of you are here?” He jabs his thumb into his chest indignantly that he is taking some responsibility.

“Oh, how kind of you, giving me the clause that tells me I have to work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, but oh, lucky me, I can have time off when I notify you in advance. Are you fucking kidding me, Rem? I doubt that would even be legal in any job.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Standing now, he starts to walk around the room in frustration.

“Why don’t you just hire one of those professional nannies then?” It would make more sense.

“Because they’re not you.” His low grumble that I could only just make out tells me more than he knows. He wants me here, but he doesn’t know how to handle that emotion, and to be honest, neither do I.

“Hmmm,” is all I can say as I let him walk until he is ready to tell me what’s in his head.

Finally, he stops at his desk in front of me, leans back against it, ankles crossed and hands on either side of him, grasping the desk, hard enough his knuckles are turning white.

“Can you just think about it and stay with me for a few days until you have made a decision? By then we will have the DNA results and Adeline will have left. I can’t imagine that is going to be easy on Blaise, and he is going to need you to help with that.”

How does he do that so easily, pull at my heart strings? I hope it’s not intentional, but then I have a feeling he’s a man who is used to getting what he wants in life and knows how to get it.

My mind is racing, and I have no idea how to even comprehend everything that is happening around me. I know what I need to do.

“Okay,” I reply gingerly.

“Okay, you’ll do it?” A look of hope washes over his face.

“Steady on there, boy. Okay, I will think about it. I need some air. I’m going for a walk.” Standing, I start to leave the room and the panic hits him.

“Don’t be long!” comes from him with too much demand in his order for my liking.

“Rem…” I drawl, turning back to look at him.

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple moving, and I can’t help being transfixed on it.

“Please don’t be too long, it’s turning cool outside.” His voice is less bossy this time, although his face still shows panic, even though he’s trying to hide it.

“Then I better get my coat, the English weather is unpredictable.” I walk from the room with a smile on my face, chalking one point to me in the battle that I can see is far from over yet.

Walking back from my room and past Blaise and Adeline’s room, I quietly open the door and see them both still fast asleep. Good, I have time for a quick walk.

Just walking from the house and down the road a little, I realize I have no idea where I am, and I’m hopeless, with no sense of direction. Okay, I need to mark down this address before I get lost. What a great look that would be.

While I pin my position on Google maps, I see that down the road and around the corner there looks to be a park which is perfect. I don’t need to walk, I just need fresh air away from Rem who makes me feel like I can’t breathe every time he gets too close to me.

It’s not a huge park, just big enough to have some nicely manicured gardens with beautiful box hedging around the edges. A few trees for shade in the summer, a pretty little gazebo on one side with children’s play equipment and a swing set. This will be a perfect place to bring Blaise.

I’m so glad it’s empty at the moment because I just need space.

Sitting on the bench in the gazebo, I can hear the slight rustle of the leaves in the trees. The breeze is picking up a little. I hate to admit it, but Rem was right. There is a little chill in the air this afternoon.

My phone in my hand, I push Tori’s name which is the real reason I wanted to leave the house. I need to talk to her but don’t trust that Rem wouldn’t be listening to me ranting like a crazy woman. Not that I would be saying anything I wouldn’t be happy to say to his face.

Still, I need to talk to the only person I know I can word vomit to about men who have no freaking idea about the real world.

“Lou, what the hell is going on over there? Nic is on the phone to Rem, and I can hear a lot of yelling.”

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