Page 76 of Love's Hot

Lilly

IT’S BEEN A FEW weeks since the night I saw Jessie and Kane together. We’ve talked a couple of times on the phone when she’s called Kane’s phone about work. It was her idea for dinner tonight so we can all get together and talk out any anxiety or questions we have and then move on and put it behind us all. In theory, I think it’s a great idea but as I fix my make-up in the office bathroom, it is starting to feel like it’s going to be hard to be at the same table as her. I totally trust Kane and believe that nothing happened. Yet I still feel a little off balance.

Walking into my office, I stop at the door to admire the view. Kane, leaning against the wall at the side of the window, with one leg crossed over the other. Hands in his front pockets of his jeans. His face is so relaxed and a slight smile. It reminds me of the day we were at the farm with the kids out at the horses, where he just let everything go and lived in the moment. I wish I had my phone that’s over on my desk just to capture the moment. Then again, why do we always have to use a camera? This picture will be captured in my mind and that’s just as good.

“Are you going to come and kiss me hello, or just stand there staring at my manly body?” The moment’s broken and we’re both laughing as I walk to him. I fall into his arms and kiss him, showing how much I missed him all day. Don’t know why I bothered with the lipstick, it’s probably now smudged all over my lips. Oh well, that’s what the mirrors in the car are for.

“Lucky I know that big ego is not compensating for something. Otherwise I might be worried.” Giving him a little kiss on the cheek, I turn and shut down my computer for the night. I feel him press up behind me, his breath on my neck.

“I’ll be more than happy to remind you right here with you bent over your desk how big all things I own are, Red.” Fuck, it’s that low voice that just conquers me. I’m fighting with my body, that is crying yes please, to say no to him. I can feel him everywhere on my body. The shivers are running wild. “See how easy it is to get you to do as you’re told, Red? Just remember that. As much as I want to bury my cock deep into you right now, I know Luke and Grant are still in their offices. I don’t feel like a fistfight with your brothers tonight. Rest assured, though, one day, I will take you on this desk and you’ll fucking love it.” I can hardly breathe. My body is aching for him. Damn him and his delayed gratification.

“You smell so good, baby. Now let’s go or we’ll be late.” Kissing my neck, he stands back and moves back to the window to let me pull myself together.

My hands quiver a little and I hear him sniggering behind me. “Sucks when your other half flirts and teases you then walks away, doesn’t it, baby. Thanks for the hard-on I’ve been carrying around all day from your little butt wiggles this morning. Karma’s a bitch, they say.” He continues to laugh at himself now.

“I remember you saying you play to win. Well, Mr. Boston, so do I. I’m never one to back down from a challenge. Bring it on.” Picking up my bag and walking past him towards the door, I casually sweep my hand across that dick he’s been complaining has been hard all day. I think I’ve just helped it along a little further.

“You play dirty, Red. Game on,” he growls. I walk with a smile on my face, not willing to turn around.

The car trip is full of talk about both our days. The closer we get to the restaurant, the more the butterflies in my stomach start to flutter. My talking gets less and looking out the window is my new pastime.

“Lilly, talk to me. What’s wrong?” Kane asks me, putting his hand on my leg, squeezing to gain my attention. “You’re pulling away all of a sudden.” I turn to look at him and try not to give away what I’m thinking.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” I know I haven’t convinced him one bit by the look he’s giving me.

“The moment a woman says fine, we all know that’s bullshit. Come on, tell me, baby. Let me help. That’s what we agreed on, remember?”

I can’t resist his soft compassionate voice. It has me spilling out my problems. “I’m nervous about meeting Jessie. Logically I know there’s nothing between you two. But my mind keeps going back to seeing you all over her. Hearing her moaning while wrapped in your arms. I know it was all an act but it’s still there.” I babble out in a rush as we pull into the parking lot for the restaurant.

“Baby, no woman will ever be what you are to me. No one. I do understand what you’re saying, though. I keep having visions of that guy touching you. It’s not comforting. Don’t you see, though, that’s why we’re meeting tonight. Those pictures are going to be replaced by you seeing Adam never taking his hands off his wife. He and I are cut from the same cloth so I’m pretty sure he’s still struggling with it all too. It will be good for you two to be able to talk it out and we can all bury it. Where it belongs, with all the other filth that place contained.” He takes my face in his hands and kisses me with such love. Not hot and sexual. It’s slow, soft and tender. Showing me how much I mean to him.

He rests his forehead on mine. “Okay?” he whispers.

“Okay,” I whisper back. I take a deep breath and sit up, ready to do this.

“That’s my girl,” he says and gets out to come around to my door. Standing with the door open and his hand out to me, it reminds me of that first night in New York. Time to channel my confident Lilly and move past this. As he pulls me into his arms, I start to feel balanced again.

Walking to our table, I can see Jessie talking and laughing with a guy that must be Adam, her husband. Although she is small, he looks tall and built solid, a lot like Kane. She spots us as we get closer and jumps up and throws her arms around me.

“Lilly, I’m so glad to finally get to meet you properly. The big fella next to you hasn’t shut up talking about you since that night. Well, actually even before that.” Instantly that makes me feel good to know that Kane is sharing things about me with Jessie. Adam stands and puts his hand out and takes mine shaking it, then shaking Kane’s like a man-power struggle. Sitting down, there’s a little tension in the air that I think everyone is feeling.

“Not going to lie, I’m still struggling with knowing you had your hands on my wife and touching her in ways that drive me crazy.” I feel Kane tense a little, but I’m the exact opposite. He couldn’t have said anything better to break the ice if he tried.

“Oh my god, thank you. Me too. I keep trying to get past the vision, but it still sits there. I know it was all work, but it still sucked. How bad did you want to punch Kane? Because I was ready to scratch Jessie’s eyes out when I saw them together. At least you knew. I had no idea what was going on, so I was on a mission to take her out. Then she was wearing a red dress which is sort of special to Kane and me so then I wanted to punch him in the balls too. They are so damn lucky that security guy slowed me down, otherwise they would have been the ones in pain that night.” I stop for a breath and see everyone around the table still looking at me. “What? You said I was allowed to get it all off my chest tonight so that’s what I’m doing.” Then they all start laughing. I feel a little hurt then I realize I must sound like a raving idiot.

“It’s okay, babe. You can keep going. May as well get it all out before entrées.” I smack him on the bicep as he puts his arm around me.

“I thought I had a few things to say, but, Lilly, you look like you’re summarizing just perfectly for me. Please continue.” Then I can’t help it, I start laughing with them. It’s like the tension is gone and we can freely talk and get it all out.

After I’ve said my piece and feel like a weight is off my shoulders, along with Adam adding his comments in along the way, Jessie leans over the table and takes my hands in hers.

“Lilly, I need to tell you some things. They might make you feel better and more at peace with it all. Firstly, you need to know Kane was such a gentleman, and was so respectful of me and my space the whole way through. We never touched in any way I didn’t feel comfortable with and agree to. He told me I could stop and leave at any moment even in the middle of the raid, I could walk away at any time. We talked extensively every night before we headed into any clubs on what our plans were and how we would fake it during the night. Never did he kiss me on my lips or touch anywhere on my body that was private. We worked out how to trick people and so much of our show was done through the use of moans and words to fool people.” Adam at this stage puts his arm around her shoulder and squeezes her to know she’s doing a good job and to continue. I’m stuck in the bubble of not wanting to know but needing to know everything she’s telling me.

“Secondly, the most important thing you need to know is that Kane told me about you when I confessed I was struggling with us having to get more intimate for the last club where everything was much more intense. But the good guy he is, he understood and told me all about you and how he felt about you. How he realized he had made a mistake and was coming for you as soon as he could. So even if you hadn’t seen us that night, he was coming to win you back. Then lastly, and something I will always be grateful for him that night, the moment he knew you were in there and in trouble, he could have left me, to rescue you. He knew the raid was only two minutes out and I’m a trained policewoman. But instead he never left me, making sure he got us both out of there safely before anything happened to either of us. I’m not sure if I had to choose between him and Adam in a dangerous situation, I would be able to do the same thing. Yet your man kept his promise to Adam and brought me home safe. So, I know those visions and that night were pretty horrible, but you need to think past that and know that man sitting next to you thinks you are it for him. You spin his world, and the minute he walked away from you he knew he would never survive without you.” By now the tears are running down my face and for the first time in my life I don’t care what my make-up looks like.

I turn and fall into the arms of the man who has captured my heart. I am finally letting go of everything I didn’t realize I was still carrying from that night. His quiet whispers of how much he loves me and will always love me are so soothing to my soul. His hands rub my back to help me calm and pull myself together. It takes a few moments, but I’m finally game to look up and face everyone. Wiping my eyes, Kane kisses my cheek then lets me sit up into my seat properly.

“I’m sorry everyone, I’m not normally this emotional. I guess I just needed that.” I try to use the napkin to dab my face.

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