Page 65 of Love's Hot

“That’s it, Alison Jane, let it all go so I can take you home and fuck you,” I say loud enough for people around us to hear. A few of the guys give me the smirk like they’re enjoying watching my girlfriend get off on this. Jessie gets the message of our signal and makes her big finale moan. We then pull it together and make for the exit to get out of the club as soon as we can. Collecting her coat and our phones, we are out and hustling down the street.

I can’t do this. I pull her into an alleyway and throw my guts up. I’ve seen a lot of things in my career and that will rate one of the hardest things I’ve done, to walk away from that club and leave those women there. Jesse is rubbing my back as I pull myself together.

“Sorry, just couldn’t hold it in any longer,” I mumble, leaning on the building.

“That’s the most fucked-up thing I’ve seen,” she says to me in a quiet voice that’s full of hurt.

“I second that. We need to report in, then I need a really stiff drink. How about you?” I grab her hand and start off towards my apartment.

“I’ll need more than one drink to put me to sleep tonight.,” Jessie says to me as we both descend into silence on the fast-paced walk back to the apartment.

***

After a few hours of debriefing with Sarge, and Jessie calling Adam to make sure he knew she was okay, we are finally settling in for the night on the couch. I spoke to Adam as well while Jessie was getting changed in the bathroom into some old clothes she has here just in case. I wanted him to know exactly how bad it was tonight and what’s going to go down tomorrow. She’s going to need him more than ever as we walk away from this case.

Once she’s out of the bathroom, we chat for a while trying to find things to talk about that aren’t related to what we saw tonight. It was difficult but we got through it. I now know that Jessie is one of three girls in her family, her favorite color is purple, and she loves Mexican food but hates avocado. You can work with people all day, every day, and know nothing about them.

It’s now three am and Jessie is fast asleep on my bed. I’ve taken the couch because I know I won’t sleep much anyway. I was hoping that getting drunk would help but it has only made me think more of Lilly. My mind is heading off on stupid tangents worrying about her. If I can’t be there, who is going to protect her? Who will make sure she never ends up in a club like tonight? I’m reminded of how much I miss her; how much I miss hearing her voice and cheeky comments. Most of all, I miss her touch. The one that makes me feel on top of the world.

My phone is in my hand, my fingers hovering over the buttons and have been for twenty minutes. This is the hardest part of being undercover. You’re on your own.

Fuck it!

The tone breaks the silence in my ear.

“Hello…Hello… who is this?” Lilly’s sleepy voice warms my soul.

She’s safe. My heart sighs knowing that.

“Is anyone there? You better talk or I’m hanging up on you!”

I can’t help myself, a small growl escapes at her sassy voice that’s coming through the phone. I need her so much tonight. Just to hold and calm me. That peace she brings me.

“Kane, is that you? Kane, are you okay?” I can’t do this to her. I hang up. I wanted to talk but it will only open up the hurt all over again for her. She’ll worry where I am. I place my phone on my heart just knowing she was there. So close I feel like I can reach out and touch her. By now the alcohol is taking affect and sleep is finally coming. Either that or just the sound of her voice is enough to relax me enough to let it take over my body.

I drift off dreaming of her. My Red, naked against the window in those fucking heels. A vision I will never forget. God, how the hell can I live without her in my life? Tonight, I’m not, though. I’m living with her in my dream.

Lilly

My phone ringing has me startling and reaching, trying to find it in the dark with my eyes closed. I haven’t slept properly for weeks so I wasn’t really in a deep sleep.

“Hello… Hello… who is this?”

No one’s talking. I pull the phone from my ear to look at the number. It says no caller ID. I hate that.

Putting it back to my ear, I can hear faint breathing on the other end. It better not be one of these fucking prank calls. I’m not in the mood.

“Is anyone there? You better talk or I’m hanging up on you!” I’m making sure they know I’m not putting up with any crap.

Then I hear it. A low quiet growl. I know that voice. That’s my wolf. Damn, I’m now sitting bolt upright in my bed.

“Kane, is that you? Kane, are you okay?” I know it’s him, I can sense it.

As soon as I say his name, he hangs up.

Banging my fists on the bed, I scream out my frustration. I can’t even call him back because I don’t have a number. I’ve called his phone so many times since that day, but it just goes to his message and now it tells me his inbox is full. Now this. I know it was him. He needs me. That’s why he called. I’ve questioned Xavier within an inch of his life to tell me where he is, but he tells me he doesn’t know and all he’ll say is that he’s okay and not to worry.

Like hell I don’t worry. I know there’s something not right with all of this. There was something so deep between us, and the way he just broke it off and then disappeared is just not right. At first, I was so angry with him that I couldn’t see straight. But when I got through the tears and anger, my rational brain started thinking how it doesn’t make sense. Until I see him again and talk to him, I won’t believe this is it.

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