Page 43 of Love's Hot

“Straight to the point.” I know my cheeks are blushing, my body shivering and my legs are going to have trouble walking.

“I’m hanging by a thread, what do you expect. I watched you flirt your ass in front of me, then I slept next to you all night, wearing my clothes, in my bed. Then you tell me I can cuff you. Jesus, woman, there is only so much a man can take before his dick explodes. I think I’ve almost reached that point. So yeah, I’m straight to the point. I want you and I’m becoming very impatient where you are concerned.” He’s leaning towards me and slides his hand behind my neck, pulling me closer.

I lose all strength when he controls me. “Tomorrow, hopefully,” I whisper.

“My place, tomorrow night. You’re mine. Be prepared to push some limits, Red. I’m sure you’ll love it.” Dropping his head to my neck, he starts nibbling and licking as he moves up towards my ear. “I’m going to make you come so hard that you’ll never forget me.” As he bites on my ear, I’m close to coming right now.

“Kane,” I moan. “You’re being mean.”

“Now you know how I’m feeling. Until tomorrow, Red.” He pulls back and hops out, coming around to open my door.

Helping me out, he wraps me tightly, kisses my cheek, and with a silly grin he gets back into his car and disappears down the road.

What the hell just happened?

I’m not even sure my legs will work to get me into the building. They feel like jelly and my brain is in a lust-filled fog.

Asshole.

Giggling to myself, I set off for the front door, happier than I’ve been for a long time.

***

Today is the longest day on record. Sitting at my desk, I’m thinking of this morning and what tomorrow will bring. I feel confused, the more I overthink it. This whole arrangement is supposed to be casual, yet Kane is becoming very demanding. In the best possible way. I’m not complaining, but our casual is becoming regular where both of us are desperate for the next time we get to meet. I know I’m having trouble keeping this a no-strings-attached affair. There’s part of my heart that already has plans to run to the hardware store and purchase a really thick, strong rope and attach myself to Kane so he can’t ever leave. These thoughts are crazy and dangerous. I’m just setting myself up to get hurt. He was very honest from the beginning on how he feels about a relationship. He was adamant he won’t ever do a normal relationship and we aren’t even talking serious things like marriage and kids. Kane just flatly refuses to get close to a woman to the point where they’re considered a couple. So, it’s not like he wasn’t clear. Why the hell my heart thinks it can take that road anyway is beyond me. Especially when I was clear I was on the same page as Kane. I just want fun, experience and no commitment. My heart was obviously too busy flirting at the back of the class like I used to do in high school. It wasn’t listening to the assignment instructions so is heading off in a completely wrong direction to the objective set.

This is going to get messy, I can just feel it.

Shit.

I’m not sure I can stop what I’ve started, though.

From the way Kane acted this morning, he’s not ready to either.

***

My bed just isn’t cutting it tonight.

There’s something missing.

The big comfy pillows, and the white-and-gold patterned quilt that’s wrapped around me doesn’t feel snug. The soft mattress feels lumpy.

I just can’t seem to settle. I’ve been lying here for three hours and sleep is not even close. I’ve tried, scanning my social media, watching Netflix, closing my eyes and listening to a podcast. I even resorted to a meditation sleep app on my phone. Nothing is helping.

It just feels all wrong and I have no idea why.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I have an inkling but I’m definitely not admitting to myself that spending a night in Kane’s bed, wrapped in his arms, has ruined me for every night without.

Nope, definitely not admitting his smell on his shirt I’m wearing tonight keeps taunting me and making me dream of where I’d rather be.

I’m punishing myself but I don’t care.

Screw it. The clock says twelve fifteen am but it’s a Friday night so that’s not late. Well, technically it’s a Saturday morning but hey, that’s just being picky.

Lilly: You awake?

Kane: Nope, sleep texting.

Lilly: Sorry, go back to sleep.

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