Page 42 of Bred By the Wolfman

What she already knows. Because it’s the truth, really.

I am a fucking creep.

When she’s gone, I fall to the ground on my knees. Fuck. I really ruined it. I ruined everything.

I can’t help it when my head tilts back, my nose points up at the moon, and a mournful howl pours from my mouth. It’s all I can do, calling out to the world just how unfair it is that I’d be bound to her, and she wouldn’t want me in return.

Well, she might have, if I hadn’t royally screwed up every part of it I could.

My mate. My cub.

My whole world.

seventeen

DEE

Another powerful, even sadder howl fills the night air as I jog the last block to my duplex. It strains at the edges of my heart, making it feel tight and squeezed. A shiver runs down my spine, and for a moment, I feel compelled to turn around and run back to him.

I didn’t want to leave, but it was the right thing to do. Tomorrow, I’ll probably need to get law enforcement involved.

I don’t want that, either. But is Russ even... sane? I rub the spot where he bit me, and my hand comes away red with blood. My blood.

If I were smart, I’d get a restraining order. But my heart seizes at the thought that I might not see Russ again if I went through with it.

Our cub, he kept saying. I hate that it sounded good. How many times have I thought about Bill and wished that I could find him again, that he would see the way my belly has grown with his child and love it the way Robbie never will?

He wants so badly to watch over us and keep us safe that he followed me for months. He wants me, all of me, in his life. In a way, it’s profoundly hot—but it’s also very, very dangerous. The alarm bells are going off in my head, and I should listen to them.

I can’t be his mate, as much as he believes I am.

When I finally get back to the house, I usher Boomer inside then jump into the shower. There, the soreness sets in from when Russ stretched me wide, because I haven’t used the dilator in weeks. I scrub myself clean, especially the sticky mess between my thighs, then get out and throw my torn clothes in the garbage. When I’m showered and dressed in fresh pajamas, I climb into bed, Boomer taking his usual place at my feet.

But I don’t sleep, not for hours still. All my nerve endings are on high alert, and I can still feel echoes of how Russ felt, deep inside me.

He could still be outside my window, right now, watching me. Keeping an eye on me and our baby.

Strangely, that last thought is what lulls me to sleep.

The next day I don’t wake until nearly noon, and I’m groggy when I finally get up. It’s only Boomer’s whines that pull me out of bed because he needs to go outside.

Wearing my bathrobe, I go down the steps with him to the greenway and he relieves himself. I peer around to see if Russ is there, but he must have done a good job of hiding if I didn’t see him before now.

“Let me get cleaned up and we’ll go out,” I tell Boomer as we head back to the apartment.

I need to make some calls, too, but not right away. I should take time to think about what happened last night, and what I’m going to do about it.

Unfortunately, the first thing to cross my mind when I head out with Boomer on a leash is that I have to tell Robbie. That’s going to be an ugly conversation that I don’t want to have. Should I admit to him that I fucked someone else before I dump him? Or is that just twisting a knife that doesn’t need to be twisted?

Man. I’m an asshole.

I text Robbie asking to see him, trying not to make it sound ominous. It’s not that I want to take him by surprise, but I also don’t want him dreading what I’ll have to say.

We don’t usually go out to eat, but I suggest a Greek restaurant.

I didn’t know you liked Greek food.

The text message makes me laugh because there’s so, so much that Robbie doesn’t know about me.

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