Page 20 of Bred By the Wolfman

I work my way up some complicated patterns, but then my eyes and my hands get tired, so I go on a long walk around the neighborhood to fill the time. I’m even more restless now, like something is missing.

Maybe I should get a dog. Then at least I’d look like I have a reason to be out walking all the time.

Then the dog makes me think of Bill, and I just want to kick a trash can. Why didn’t I offer him my number at the end of our second session? I could have whispered it in his ear, so no one could overhear.

Okay. The dog. The dog is a good idea.

I immediately pull up the shelter on my phone, and look through the pictures of available dogs. One face stands out at me, a hound-like animal with floppy ears and big jowls. His bio says that he’s an older dog, but still needs plenty of walks.

He sounds perfect for me.

I call on my way home and make an appointment to go and meet “Boomer.” I’ll need to get my landlord’s permission, but it shouldn’t be too hard.

Yeah. Maybe that’s exactly what I need. A dog and a fuck buddy to keep me company until this baby comes out, and I can try to pretend like Bill never happened.

That’s a lot easier said than done when the morning sickness sets in.

I thought it would come on sooner, and then I could get it over with, but nope. And it’s not just in the morning, either. I’ll suddenly feel nauseated while I’m eating cereal—yes, still eating cereal—and sprint to the bathroom, puking up all my guts. Or it’ll happen at night when I’m getting ready for bed.

I have issues with whoever called it morning sickness. It’s just sickness sickness, and it fucking sucks. Even worse is knowing this is just the beginning.

I have all the books. I’ve already bought special inserts for my shoes for later, when I’m too big and my feet start to hurt. I have the heating pads for my back, and the creams for my stretch marks. I know I won’t escape without a few of those, but I don’t mind. I’ll wear them like a tattoo.

Robbie does call me, like he promised, and I tell him I’m going to meet a dog.

“You really are lonely,” he says. “Want some company? I have the day off.”

I guess I wouldn’t mind bringing someone with me who maybe knows more about dogs than I do, so I agree.

We meet at the shelter, and to my surprise, Robbie kisses me there in the parking lot. I already have a feeling he’s more into this than I am, but that could be a good thing. When I tell him the news, maybe he won’t go running for the hills.

Inside, the shelter is overrun with loose cats. Good thing I’m not allergic. I check in at the front desk, and the young man behind the counter leads me to a meeting room. “I’ll bring Boomer here,” he says, and leaves us alone.

“Do you have a yard?” Robbie asks as we sit on the couch, a polite distance between us.

“No, just a balcony. But there’s a greenway right outside the building, and it’s not like I have anything else to do all day.”

I probably shouldn’t have said that, but eventually he’ll find out I don’t have a regular job. If we keep doing this.

He squints at me. “Are you independently wealthy or something?”

I laugh and shake my head. “That would be great, but no. I just have a weird job.”

He’s about to ask me more when the door opens, and a big, lumbering giant comes in. The dog is brown all over, with a kind, gentle face. He trots over to greet me right away, and his huge tongue swipes down the side of my face.

He’ll be perfect for me.

nine

RUSS

For the two weeks I don’t hear from the PI, I could tear holes right in the wall. I don’t, of course. I don’t have the time, energy, or money to have that fixed after digging through my meager savings for four grand.

The wait is agonizing. Instead of avoiding my friends, I deluge them with invitations to get out of the house so I can think about something else for a few minutes. I wonder if the PI is taking so long because she hasn’t had any luck yet, and Dee will be even harder to track down than I thought.

Then, one night, a familiar number calls me. I hurriedly pick up the phone.

“Did you find her?” I say, without even a greeting.

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