Page 43 of Of Wind and Terror

I run my finger across the stubble on my chin—longer than it’s ever been before, thanks to my hasty departure from the Spring Court and my nonstop riding. It won’t be long until it turns into a full-fledged pink beard.

“You know I’m coming with you, right?” My hands twitch by my sides with the need to pull her close, hold her against me, bask in her heat.

Her brows arch in surprise. “Your Highness?—”

“Treyton,” I correct immediately, recognizing what she’s doing.

She’s trying to remind me who I am. My title.

But nothing is more important than protecting my mate.

Isn’t it funny how one insignificant event can change the course of your life forever? Only a few weeks ago, nothing was more important to me than running my kingdom. I’m a prince, for fuck’s sake, and though I’m not an overly good one, I relished the prestige my title gave me.

Now, my priorities have shifted, and they all circle around this tiny slip of a girl with mismatched gloves, golden hair, and eyes that peer into my soul. My father can handle the politics of our kingdom and the impending war. I have other more important matters to deal with.

I feel a tiny pinch of guilt at the latter thought, knowing how incompetent my father is. However, I won’t stay away for long. As soon as my mate is safe, I’ll return to the kingdom, claim my throne, and save my people the way I should’ve done years ago.

“Kassandra…” I debate my next words, knowing that what I say next could either scare her off or draw her closer to me. “When you were taken, I started reflecting on my life.”

She blinks at me in surprise. Whatever she was expecting me to say wasn’t that.

I continue on before I can lose my nerve. “And not just on who I am as a fae, but who I am as a prince.” A wry smile tugs up my lips before I can quell it. “I don’t think I’m good at being either, if I’m being completely honest.”

I feel incredibly vulnerable at this moment, and I haven’t even told Kassie any of my secrets. Still, this is the closest I’ve come to letting someone in, allowing them to see past my jovial outer shell and calm, princely façade.

“Something happened years ago, something that changed me. I vowed to do better, to be better. It wasn’t until I met you that I realized I failed. I was simply going through the motions, as if I could fake being a better fae. It didn’t work.

“But here’s the thing…I want to be better. I want to do better. Sometimes I’m worried that I’m too big of a monster to ever change, but is the world truly black and white? Is it possible that us, as fae, can be shades of gray? Can’t we balance that precarious line between good and evil? Is every action inherently bad? Or can we do bad things for the greater good?”

I realize I’ve gotten off topic, so I quickly try to backtrack, my heart pounding fiercely in my chest. “Look, I’m not saying this right. I know most people don’t give a shit about me outside of my status as a prince?—”

“I give a shit about you,” Kassie interrupts, and then her cheeks burn crimson, and she drops her hands back to her sides.

I smile despite myself. “You might be the only one, sunshine.”

I force myself to take a deep breath and lower my head so I’m staring into her arresting blue eyes. They’re a lighter shade of blue than my own and seem to sparkle like diamonds adrift in a fathomless sea. The sight makes my heart lurch painfully.

“But I think that’s what I’m trying to say. I want you to give a shit about me. I’ve always thought I cared about what other fae thought about me, but that’s not true. Not really. I didn’t want their love…I wanted their respect. There’s a difference. You can gain respect by being kind and benevolent, or you can get it through fear. One is easier than the other.”

Fuck. I’m rambling.

What is happening to me?

I never used to ramble before. I knew exactly what to say and when to say it. Words were my weapon of choice, more cutting than any blade could ever be. Words can build empires but also destroy them. They’re unassuming killers, capable of slithering past defenses and burrowing deep inside a fae’s psyche.

Yet, for the first time ever, I can’t find the right words to say. They all tumble around in my head like a wheel that won’t stop spinning. Around and around it goes, and I’m just waiting until the moment it stops and my fate is decided.

“Treyton, I don’t understand.” Kassie blinks up at me with wide, guileless eyes.

“I want to do better. Be better,” I blurt, once again reaching forward to capture that escaped curl. I twirl it around and around my finger, relishing the feel of it on my skin. Silk. It reminds me of silk. “I want you to actually care about me and mean it. And, more than any of that, I want to deserve it. You shouldn’t have to care about a monster.” I release her hair and take a step back, instantly missing her warmth. Her scent. Fuck. “What I’m saying is I want to be your friend, sunshine. I don’t know if I’ll be a really good one, if I’m being completely honest, but I want to try.”

“My friend,” she signs, appearing stunned.

“Friend,” I agree with a decisive nod.

Because I’m not sure if she’ll ever accept me as a mate, but a friend? Perhaps she’ll allow me to be in her life as that. I wasn’t lying when I said I won’t be a good one. I’ve never really had a friend before, unless you count Cayetana and Serena.

But for Kassandra, I’ll try.

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