But I don’t tell him that. His heated gaze gives me a small burst of confidence, and I slowly move, just in time for Jude to pull his shirt from over my head. My bare body is on display in front of him, but his eyes stay on mine.

“Come on, baby. Pleasure yourself for me.” His words fuel my arousal, and I soak him further as I rock back and forth. However, nerves begin to gnash at me, and I drop my eyes to my hands resting on his chest.

“I...”

“Look at me,” his voice is commanding but gentle. As I meet his gaze, I see the same reflection as his tone. “Keep going. I know you want this.”

And I do.

I really fucking do.

Biting down on my lip, I move with more intention, pressing against him as I coat him. He groans, his expression contorting with pleasure, and for some reason, it fuels me. I rock faster, grind harder, and a moan slips from my throat as my core begins the buildup.

“Explode all over me,” he growls as my movements grow desperate, jerky, and my breaths ragged. “And say my name.”

“Jude,” I say it once, and then I cry out, my orgasm crashing over me as my muscles tense, my nails digging into his skin. His lips collide with mine as his hands slip to my ass, lifting me and setting me back down...

On his cock.

I gasp at the fullness and heightened sensitivity, whimpering as he thrusts his hips up. “Fuck,” I moan into his mouth.

“Get used to it,” he growls, nipping my bottom lip.

I bite back as he pumps into me, his hand dipping lower. He grunts as I draw blood and presses a finger into my ass. I moan, unprepared for the pleasure it draws out of me.

“You’re going to be so fucking sweet for me, aren’t you?” Jude breaks the kiss long enough to give me a view of the blood smeared across his mouth. The sight turns me on, and I fall back into him, chasing a second climax.

He pushes a second finger inside of me, and I gasp at the pressure—and then explode. I cry out his name once more, and he follows with a deep groan, filling my pussy with himself once again. I swear, every time he comes, it feels as though he’s washing it clean of any vile acts that have ever been committed there.

I collapse forward, my sweaty body slick against his chest. His hand strokes my back, and he removes his fingers from me, but leaves his cock buried deep inside.

And it feels okay to have him there.

In fact, it feels so fucking...good.

“No one gets to have you like this except me,” Jude says, threading his fingers through my hair. “No one.”

I nod, but Jude truly has no idea. No one has ever had me like this. The only person who’s ever been with me between the sheets destroyed my sense of self, gifted me my demons, and then sent my mind to hell.

And if Jude ever tries that, I’ll fucking kill him.

Then God knows what insanity will befall me—if it doesn’t catch me before then.

***

Jude watches me in a curious silence as I get dressed in the clothes from the night before, and while I have an urge to vomit up every ounce of truth I haven’t given him, I know it’s best not to yet. He might have made it through my outer walls, but I haven’t spent time away from him.

And what if it hits me harder than ever? What if I can’t handle it?

“You said you were going to lunch with Sarah?” He throws it out as I grab my purse and sling it over my body. “Are you doing that now?”

“I have an hour. I figured I’d go home and shower,” I tell him, biting down on my lower lip. I don’t want him to know that I’m actually meeting with Liam, the detective acquaintance that provides me with risk evaluation. And speaking of, Jude has my location, which provides a risk with this lie I’m telling anyway.

“Then where to?”

“House hunting with Henry.”

“Hmm.” He pops his jaw in an irritated way, and I can tell that overshadows the lunch plans with Sarah.