He has no idea the battle he’s fighting—and winning. I arch my back as he pinches my nipple and then flips my shorts open. Jude’s hand slips downward, beneath my underwear.
‘Don’t let him touch you.’
‘He’s going to rape you.’
I gasp for air, my fingernails digging into his taught thighs. Shut up, I beg. Let me have this.
Jude’s deep groan drowns out the noise in my head as he suddenly dips lower, now fully aware of just how bad I want this—him. “Oh fuck, you’re so wet.”
My heart pounds, sensations pouring to my clit as he rubs me, pressing his hard length into my ass. Jude is all I can feel, smell, and my mouth salivates at the thought of tasting him. An unfamiliar moan escapes my lips as I tip my head back against him. He picks up his pace, intensifying my arousal before diving a finger inside of me.
My chest heaves at the intrusion, so bittersweet as it drags my memories up from the pit of hell in my mind. I bite down on my lip, terrified at the pleasure I’m feeling—so different than the intense pain of my past. But then the demons begin, and I stiffen.
‘He’s going to hurt you. Just wait.’
‘He’s just using you.’
‘It’s sick this is turning you on.’
Tears rim my eyes, and I force my gaze up at the man wrapped around my body, wishing I could quiet the voices. Jude is everything terrifying and beautiful, and there’s something about him that makes me want to rip myself open and let him see the truth. He stills as he meets my gaze—and then freezes. He sees me.
“Cher...” His voice is husky and thick with desire, but his fingers remain unmoved. “You can tell me to stop.”
I clench my jaw, embarrassed, disappointed, and defeated as Jude begins to remove his hand. “No,” I choke out, grabbing his wrist. “Just talk to me while you do it.”
Understanding fills his expression. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with me, but he knows something is. We’re in a dark room at a sex club, and I might as well be sitting in a therapist’s office. Jude’s quiet for a moment, and then flips me around, backing me up until my ass is pressed against the wall and I’m facing him.
“Look at me,” Jude commands, gripping my jaw and tipping my head back. Warmth flows back to my core as he begins to move again. My lips part as a light moan slips through, and my head quiets as Jude’s gaze holds me. “Tell me how good my fingers feel inside of you, doll.”
“G-g-good...” I stumble on my words like a shy little teenager, never having been asked how I feel.
Jude cracks a sweet smile, his eyes dark and soft all at the same time. He leans his forehead against mine, as he presses a second finger inside of me. My hips buck against him, and suddenly, I’m desperate to reach my climax. I squeeze my eyes shut, but I’m met with a growl and his tightening grip.
“Open those eyes. I’ll be what you see when you come.”
I whimper and do as I’m told, arousal washing through my body. My pussy clenches around his fingers as I let him see me encounter a place I’ve never been before, physically and mentally.
“Oh fuck, you’re so close.” Jude’s fingers move in rhythm with my hips, and I’m starving for him, desperation for satisfaction as I reach the edge.
I need more.
My eyes slip from his and I suck in a breath. My heart skips a beat as I take in the perfect shape of his mouth. He doesn’t command my gaze to come back. Instead, as if he can read my mind, he kisses me.
In a blast of confusing and powerful ecstasy, my orgasm crashes down around me just as Jude’s tongue enters my mouth. I cry out as I tremble, tasting the hint of liquor, mint, and hunger in the way he’s moving. I melt into him, even as he withdraws his hands from my pants. My mask hits the floor as I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him to me. He groans as his erection digs into my lower stomach. I rub against it, my pussy aching for him.
However, the vibration of something in his pocket cuts through my delusion—and shame racks my entire being as Jude breaks our kiss, his hand leaving my body to retrieve his phone.
I’m suddenly stuck in reality, exposed. There’s no mask. I’m the same broken girl I’ve always been, standing in a disgusting sex club dark room—where I just willingly let a man touch me. Bring me to an orgasm. And kiss me. I shakily brush my fingertips across my swollen lips.
I haven’t kissed anyone since him...
“Your brother,” Jude mutters, his eyes on the screen. “I gotta go.” He looks up at me, his brows furrowing as he sees my expression. “I’m not trying to bail. I—”
“It’s fine,” I say in a rushed tone as I divert my gaze and scoop my mask up off the floor. Not looking at him, I fit the stupid black rabbit cover back to my face and redo the front of my corset and shorts. My stomach lurches as I realize how easy I was for Jude—and how easily I obeyed him.
‘This is what you wanted.’
‘At least you finally got that orgasm you’ve never had.’