Page 150 of Kneeling to Candy

I bite my lip. What do I want to do about it?

Before this betrayal came to light, all I wanted was to be with Butch. Didn’t matter if I felt I wasn’t good enough for him, I still wistfully wanted to be tied to him. All I’ve wanted in life was to be someone’s everything. Butch was the first person I saw having a happily ever after with—the only person I wanted a future with.

Finding out I’m legally already his spouse while he tried to conceal it from me is a punch in the kidneys. If Butch felt the same as I do for him, he wouldn’t have kept this from me. He’d be rejoicing in our union like I would.

Him trying to cover up our marriage could only mean he’s embarrassed to be my husband, right? What other reason could there possibly be?

A tear slips out, rolling down my cheek. “I’m not sure there’s anything to do. Butch is humiliated having me for a wife.”

Ebony lifts an eyebrow. “Why would you say that?”

“Why else would someone hide their marriage?”

She shrugs. “I’m not sure. But I don’t think he’s embarrassed to have you as his wife. The guy eye fucks you around anyone. He’s always with you. He isn’t trying to get with anyone else. For Christ’s sake, he moved you into his suite without asking you and claimed you as his woman. The man is infatuated with you. I may not know the reason Butch did what he did, but neither do you. When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.”

“Then what do I do?”

Ebony rolls her eyes. “You talk to him. Duh.”

My lips tug down into a frown—I’m uncomfortable with the prospect of a crucial confrontation with my man when I’m heated. “I’m not sure I can handle talking to him at the moment.”

“No one said it needs to happen this second. Cool off. When you’re ready to get answers, confront him.”

I look helplessly at my friend. “What if my fear is confirmed? What if he thinks I’m okay to fuck but not good enough to wed?”

“You get the marriage annulled and move on. Though I believe he wants this marriage to work. Why not come clean right away if he didn’t want you as his wife? Confessing early seems like the better option to get out of the commitment as opposed to pretending it never happened.”

Huh. I hadn’t thought of it like that. “Makes sense.”

My heart pulls with a twinge of hope. Could Butch really want this marriage?

“Do you think…” I lick my dry lips nervously, scared I’m hoping for too much, “…he hid our marriage out of fear I wouldn’t want him?”

Ebony takes a few seconds to consider my question. “Makes a hell of a lot of sense to me. Not trying to piss you off, but you don’t give off warm and fuzzy vibes. Poor guy might have been afraid you’d deny him.”

My hands cover my cheeks as realization hits me hard. “Oh, my God.”

I’m not the most affectionate person, keeping most people at a safe distance for a good reason. Getting too close usually ends up hurting me.

My cool demeanor makes it difficult for anyone to get close, and most assume I’m disinterested or dislike them. It hurts my heart if Butch felt he couldn’t reveal our marriage to me, fearing I’d reject him.

Ebony quietly watches me as I mull over all the information. She clears her throat after a while, bringing my attention back to her as she hands me back my marriage license. “Do you love him?”

I look at my friend, my eyes fighting to hold back my tears. Not trusting my voice to shake, I nod.

Ebony gives me a big smile. “I think you should have that conversation with him sooner rather than later, babe. It’s time you tell him how you feel, and for you to hear him out.”

Not wasting another second, I quickly make my way out of the room. I’ve got a husband to confront.

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

BUTCH

It’s been roughly one hour since Candy ordered me to stay where I was before she fled our room. At least that’s how many minutes I’ve counted in my head as I’ve waited for her return. I’ve not moved from where I knelt at her feet, begging her to stay.

To choose me.

Each second she’s gone is agony, not knowing when or if she’ll return. My legs ache with pins and needles, but I ignore it, too upset to focus on anything else other than my relationship with Candy possibly ending. Instead, I count the seconds in my head as I stare at the door, willing Candy to return.

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