Page 72 of Protecting the Nerd

“I think you’d be exceptional at it.”

I tried to move, but he held me in place. “Please stay where you are. I need to feel close to you when we’re discussing this…and I need you to feel how much I love you.”

When he put it like that, how could I refuse? I relaxed again. “Why would I be good at something I’ve never done?”

“First of all, because you’re the kind of person who can literally do anything he sets his mind to. I bet if they told you to learn how to fly an airplane, you’d rise to the challenge.”

His belief in me would never cease to amaze me. “Thank you. I’d love to learn to be a pilot, by the way.”

He laughed. “Of course you would, nerdy. You love learning new things, period.”

“But that’s a different skill than parenting.”

“I’ve seen you with Gabe and Josiah and with that kid, Matt. You have a talent for talking to teenagers, for relating to them. That’s why I think fostering would suit you. It’s temporary, and you could request specific cases.”

“We.”

“Hmm?”

“We could request special cases. There’s no way in hell I’d even consider doing this without you.”

He kissed my hair again. “I stand corrected. We. The idea has been on my mind since I saw you interacting with teens. As far as I’m concerned, fostering is definitely something I’d be interested in with you.”

“Is that why you want to live in Forestville?”

Quillon traced circles on my back. “Partly. It’s a reason, but not the main one. The main reason is that… I’m not one to tell anyone else how they should feel or what they should think, so take this with a grain of salt. But I feel like you belong in this town, nerdy. Your roots and your past are here, but so are your present and perhaps your future. You’ve been alone for so long, lonely even, but here’s this wonderful community ready to welcome you home. Your friends but the town itself too. The people of Forestville are all so proud of you, nerdy…and not one of them has said anything negative to you or about you. Everyone who mentioned your parents acknowledged the unfairness toward you, either directly or indirectly. They love you. You’re wanted here.”

“What do you mean by acknowledging the unfairness? I don’t understand.”

“When we met Brianna for the first time, she said she knew it would be hard seeing your parents again, remember?”

She had, though I hadn’t considered it special. But yeah, indirectly, she had acknowledged she knew the relationship with my parents was strained.

“And when we were at Collins, and you talked to the cashier, whose mom had been your teacher…”

“Heather.”

“Yes, Heather. She said she knew not everyone was as blessed as she was with her parents. She meant you.”

Jesus, he was right. At the time, I’d regarded her words as a cliché, but the only reason for her to mention it was if she knew how bad the situation with my parents was. “I never realized so many people knew.”

“You’re the small-town expert, nerdy, but I doubt a strained relationship like you have with your parents would stay a secret for long. Plus, everyone who’s ever visited them must’ve concluded how unhealthy their obsession with Essex was.”

How had I never seen this but Quillon had? Maybe because, as an outsider, Quillon had a fresh perspective. These were people I’d known my entire life, and it hadn’t occurred to me that they knew my parents had never moved on from losing Essex, but as Quillon had pointed out, they did. I just hadn’t picked up on those references.

But did it change things? Now that I knew the residents were aware and had chosen my side, did I feel differently about Forestville? “I’ll have to think about this.”

“I expected nothing else.”

“But thank you for telling me this. I wasn’t aware of how people saw me.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I know, nerdy. It’s hard to see the good after being in the middle of the bad for so long, but these people have your back. They’re all rooting for you. Not one of them reacted negatively to you coming back here or even to us being together.”

“True.”

Kids. I’d never seen that one coming, not at my age. Just like I’d counted on staying single, I’d written off becoming a father. But now that Quillon had raised the topic, the idea of becoming a foster parent was more appealing than I had expected. If I could give even one child, one teenager, the love they deserved rather than letting them feel as unlovable as I had, it would be worth it. And with Quillon by my side, I was confident I could do it.

The topic kept popping into my head that day and the day after, so I called Fir. There was no one—other than Quillon, obviously—whose judgment I trusted more. Since I couldn’t leave the house, he had to come to our place, but he didn’t mind. Quillon excused himself to work out in the gym room, as always giving Fir and me some privacy.

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