Page 71 of Protecting the Nerd

“You and me both, nerdy. It would be great to be able to go out without having to plan it. To hold your hand without having to look around for possible threats.”

“For you to carry the groceries.”

Quillon chuckled. “Ah, I see where your priorities lie, but yes, that too.”

“It would also bring new challenges. Like, is your job compatible with mine?”

I’d wondered about this but hadn’t seen a reason to bring it up until now.

“That’s definitely something to think about,” Quillon said. “But I’m gonna say right now that your job is more important than mine.”

“I’m not comfortable with that,” I protested. “Isn’t a relationship about being equals?”

“Yes, in the things that matter, but we also have to be practical. Your job matters. What you do matters. You’re working on keeping our country safe. That has to supersede any practical considerations on my end. If necessary, I can find another job. You shouldn’t.”

I snuggled closer, putting my head back on his shoulder. His words made me so… I didn’t even know how they made me feel. Strange. Happy but also sad. Happy because, for the first time in my life, I was someone’s priority, but sad because I’d never been that important to anyone—including my parents. Would that ever stop hurting?

“If you move in with me, we need a bigger apartment,” I said, determined to focus on the future.

“Or…we could stay here.”

“In Tomás’s house? I’m sure he wants to sell it at some point.”

“In Forestville. The house is optional, but we could buy it from him. I have enough money saved up to afford it.”

Alarm filled me, and again, I pushed myself up. “I’m not moving back to Forestville.”

“Why not?”

“Why not?” Was he serious? “You know the memories I have of this town, what being here does to me.”

“I’d hoped that maybe you’d see it differently now. You have friends here, nerdy. Friends who love you and who would be over the moon to spend more time with you. And I thought maybe being here with me would have replaced those bad memories with good ones.”

“That’s not how it works. I’m making wonderful memories with you, but they don’t cancel out the traumatic ones.”

He held out his arm, a clear invitation, and after a brief hesitation, I took him up on it and put my head down again. He kissed my hair, holding me a little closer than before. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Or diminish what you’ve gone through.”

“You didn’t. The latter, I mean. And I’m not upset. More…frustrated. I didn’t see this coming.”

“You know how much I love Forestville.”

“Yeah, but I thought you meant as a visitor. Not as a place where you’d want to live.”

“I want to ask you something, but I need you to promise to be open-minded and think before you answer.”

I elbowed him in his side. “Have you ever known me to do anything other than that? I can’t even answer without thinking. My brain is always on.”

He let out a dry chuckle. “True. Forgot for a moment who I was talking to.”

“So, what did you want to ask?” He couldn’t fault me for being curious after that intro.

“Have you ever considered having kids?”

What? Where on earth had that come from? Oh, wait. I got it now. If we were talking about raising a family, the choice between Seattle—or any other big city, for that matter—or Forestville was a different discussion. “I haven’t. Well, maybe when I was younger, but I let that notion go a while ago. I’m too old now.”

“Not for fostering.”

“Fostering?”