Page 57 of Protecting the Nerd

“We’re not.” When Auden merely raised an eyebrow, I sighed. “We’re not, I swear. I mean, we kissed. Twice. But the first time was because York wanted to make our fake relationship look real.”

Auden snorted. “Seriously? He asked you to kiss him to sell your act?”

“The night of the dinner, when Marnin called us out, yes.”

“Oh my god, I don’t know whether to be impressed or feel sorry for you. He had no idea what he was asking, did he?”

“No.” A softness filled me. “Completely clueless.”

“And the second time?”

“That was this morning.”

“More practice?”

“No, that kiss was real.” Should I tell him the whole story? Oh, what the hell, why not? Auden didn’t talk, that much I was certain of. Both he and Fir would keep secrets safer than Fort Knox. “York walked in on me yesterday as I was taking a shower and taking matters into my own hand, so to speak.”

Auden winced. “Awkward.”

“And he didn’t leave.”

“Intriguing.”

“And this morning, I overheard him telling Fir he was in love with me. I swear I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I did, and that’s what he told Fir.”

“And so you told him you felt the same way?”

“And so I told him I was in love with him, but that he was my client and I couldn’t compromise my professional standards or his safety. After we kissed.”

Auden looked at me with compassion. “That’s a tough call to make.”

“The threat against him is real, Auden. I can’t ignore that.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to, but can I offer some wisdom?”

“Please.”

“I didn’t meet Keaton until last year. I was divorced, and even though my ex-wife and I are still good friends, I was hurting and lonely…until I met Keaton. Because I’d always considered myself straight, it took me a while to figure out that what I felt for him wasn’t friendship but something more. But once I did, I found a joy I didn’t think was possible. My whole life, I’ve wanted to be a sheriff. My father was a sheriff, and I’ve always known that would be my path in life as well. But I’ll tell you right now that if I had to choose between my job and Keaton, I would quit in a heartbeat. All I’m saying is that I understand you take your job seriously…but maybe York is worth more than your job. He’s a great guy, Quillon. He deserves all the good things in life.”

“He does,” I said hoarsely. “On that, we fully agree. The universe owes him after what he’s been through.”

“He deserves to be loved…by someone like you. You’re so good for him, Quillon. Please don’t throw that away.”

I left Auden’s office and walked back home. Wait, when had I started to think of Tomás’s house as home? Sometime in the last week or so, it had changed from a place to stay to being home. What had York told Fir? He makes me feel at home. He’s become my home. It was the same for me. York had become my home, the place I wanted to return to every day.

Auden’s words mixed with York’s, tumbling around in my head. He’d given me a lot to think about. Was I wasting a chance at something real and lasting by prioritizing my job? I’d prided myself on my professionalism and ethics, but at the end of the day, did a job matter more than York? Than love?

Of course it didn’t. The answer was so obvious it was laughable that I hadn’t realized it. I’d clung to my instinctive need for professional boundaries, but those had been obliterated a long time ago. I’d thrown York a birthday party, for fuck’s sake. That hadn’t been about protecting him. It had been about loving him, about wanting him to be happy.

The next step was evident now as well. I would choose York, but I wouldn’t compromise his safety, and right now, that had to be my priority. So I found a quiet spot where I could be certain no one could overhear me and called my boss.

“What’s up?” Remington answered.

I usually appreciated his cut-the-BS attitude, but this time, I wouldn’t have minded a little small talk to smooth things out before I dropped this bomb on him. Alas, it wasn’t to be. “I need you to find a replacement for me to guard York Coombe.”

Remington gasped in surprise. “Why? What’s going on?”

I took a deep breath. “I’m in love with him. This isn’t something I planned, obviously, but I’ve fallen for him hard. And he feels the same, and I can’t, boss. I can’t do that. I can’t compromise his safety, but I also can’t walk away from him. He needs me, and I…” I exhaled. “I need him.”

---