Page 40 of Protecting the Nerd

“A type. Is there a kind of guy you’re generally attracted to?”

Six-foot tall, nerdy, brilliant guys with too-big ears, a shy smile, and a pair of brown puppy eyes…or was that too specific? “Other than some general age requirements, not really. I do like to be able to talk to someone, so it helps if we have things in common or if someone has broad interests.”

“I read somewhere that for gay men who are looking for a partner, appearance matters more than for straight men in women.”

“Gay culture can be somewhat hyperfocused on looks, yes. The stereotype that gay men are vain and know everything about fashion isn’t entirely devoid of truth.”

“I find that interesting. It suggests a level of superficiality I wouldn’t be comfortable with.”

No, he wouldn’t be. I couldn’t picture York in a gay club, for example, though, in all honesty, I’d outgrown that scene as well. “I’m not on board with that either. When I was younger, I was okay with the casual hookups, with blowjobs in the restroom of a club, but now…” I shrugged. “I guess I raised my standards.”

York wrinkled his nose. “Public restrooms are vile. I can’t imagine either giving or getting a blowjob there would be sexy.”

I chuckled. What an absurd conversation, yet it fit this man. “It’s not about sexy, and trust me, when your cock is being expertly sucked by a twenty-one-year-old twink, you stop caring about hygiene.”

“Why twenty-one?”

“‘Cause you have to be of legal drinking age to be admitted to a club.”

“But they’re interested in that? In sucking off older men?”

I quirked an eyebrow. “You calling me old?”

“Older. I said older, not old. You have to admit that compared to a twenty-one-year-old, you are…”

“A grandpa. Yes, I’m well aware I’m old enough to be their father, thank you. Again, not a concern in restroom stalls when all you want is a blowjob.”

York pushed back his empty plate, licking his lips. He had such a nice mouth. And I liked his beard, which was the perfect length. Long beards weren’t my thing—too much ZZ Top association, perhaps—but a short one added so much character, especially when it was neatly trimmed and sprinkled with gray.

When I dragged my eyes away and looked up, York was studying me with those intense brown eyes. He could look at you as if you were a puzzle he was figuring out, an equation he was trying to solve. A little unnerving sometimes but also strangely endearing. And I was honored to be worthy of his attention. “What?”.

“I keep trying to picture you in a dirty restroom stall with some kid sucking your dick, but I just can’t. Nothing about that computes.”

“Well, maybe that’s a sign that you shouldn’t put too much effort into it.” I kept my voice light, but the idea of York trying to imagine my cock was…stirring. Which brought us full circle and back to my argument for not wanting to kiss him again. Not for selling our story anyway. If I kissed him again, it would be for real. Because he wanted me to.

“You’re probably right, but I’m trying to merge this into what I know of you, and somehow it doesn’t fit. It’s an incongruence, and those bother me.”

“Not everything is as black and white as math,” I said gently.

“You want me to change the subject.”

“Very much so, yes.”

He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else but then nodded. “Next time, you can say so directly. Just tell me to drop it, and I will.”

“I wasn’t at that point yet, but if I had been, I would’ve done that…knowing that you’d respect my boundaries.”

“That’s one promise I can make. I will always accept boundaries and the word no.”

I reached for his hand, and much to my surprise, he took it and threaded our fingers. “I know, York. I’ve never doubted that.”

Those beautiful eyes softened, and a smile spread across his lips. “You know what? I think we’re becoming friends.”

“I think so too.”

He beamed. “Now I have two friends.”

Friends. I would be the best friend this man had ever had. If I could give him even a little bit of the unconditional love he should’ve received from his parents, I’d be grateful. He deserved it.

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