Page 35 of Protecting the Nerd

“But you want to become a doctor, right? Shouldn’t you be better at understanding people?”

“I’m sixteen, York. I have time to learn all that.”

“True. Unlike me. I should’ve learned by now.”

Gabe shrugged. “People are not your forte, and that’s fine.”

“Is it?”

“No one can be good at everything. Some people are talented athletes but suck at social skills. Others are people persons but can’t solve basic math problems. You’re super, super smart, but you struggle with people and social skills. So what?”

I blinked, then laughed. No one had ever said it so succinctly, and I loved Gabe for it. “Thank you.”

“I mean it, York. You’re pretty damn great, so don’t feel like you have to be like everyone else. You stand out, and that’s okay.”

The laugh faded from my face. You stand out. Such a simple remark, but it hit hard. I had always stood out because I was smarter and faster than everyone else. I had never fit in. If my parents had allowed it, I could’ve graduated two years early. Instead, some amazing teachers had kept me busy during the last two years of high school with college-level courses and assignments, and I’d always be grateful for their efforts.

“He’s right.” Fir sat on the armrest of the couch next to me. “You do stand out.”

I had…to everyone except my parents, who had never wanted to see it. Even now, I didn’t think they understood how special what I did was, how good I was at my job. Everyone could see I was exceptional, but not them.

“Then why don’t they see it?” I asked, my voice breaking near the end.

Fir put a hand on my shoulder. “Because they always forced you to fit in, to lower yourself to Essex’s level.”

The deep truth of his words washed over me. He was right. They had always wanted me to adapt and become more like Essex, to stop being exceptional and become average. “But why? Why can’t they accept me the way I am?”

Fir gently shook his head. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t. Maybe it’s some misguided belief that if you were allowed to shine, it would’ve made Essex seem stupider. Not that he needed help with that,” he murmured at the end, and I appreciated that little barb. When everyone else made my brother out to be a saint, it was amazing when someone spoke the truth.

“He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed,” I said.

“Dude, if I hadn’t agreed to tutor him during our senior year, he wouldn’t have graduated.”

I tilted my head. “Why did you agree? Because we both know he…”

Quillon. I’d forgotten about him. He’d found a spot on the couch and sat there, watching us, but I had no doubt he was analyzing every word. If I finished that sentence, he’d know the truth. Oh, who was I kidding? He’d figured it out already anyway, after the way I’d treated those bullies the other day. In some way, him knowing would be a relief.

“I can go upstairs for a bit.” Quillon rose from the couch.

No. I didn’t want him to leave. I had no idea why not, but I didn’t. “It’s okay. You can stay. I mean, I want you to stay.”

Quillon sat again. “Okay.”

“Why did you tutor him?” I asked Fir.

Fir’s face softened. “Because I needed him to graduate and leave town. If he failed, he’d have stayed for another year.”

My throat tightened. “You knew?”

“No, but I couldn’t have been the only one he bullied. There had to be more, and without his friends to curtail his worst impulses, things would only get worse, so I did what I had to do to get him out of here.”

He’d saved me. Fir might not have known who Essex’s other victims were, but he’d done it anyway, and he’d saved me. That last year with Essex home had been bad. So, so bad that I had counted down the days until he left for boot camp. If he had failed and had to redo senior year…

Jesus, the thought was enough to make me nauseous. And Fir was right. Without Auden and the others, the situation would have been a hundred times worse.

“Thank you. I can’t tell you what… Thank you.”

Fir’s smile was sad and sweet at the same time. “You’re so welcome. I’m grateful I was able to spare you from worse.”

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