Page 34 of Protecting the Nerd

Before York could answer, Matt grabbed his things from the ground, stuffed them into his backpack, and took off. York stared after him until Matt disappeared from sight, then blew out a long breath. He turned around slowly, avoiding my eyes. “Let’s go home.”

My mind raced with thoughts too loud to ignore. The way York had stood up for the kid hadn’t just been protective. It had been personal. His intensity, the tremble in his voice that suggested he knew exactly how that kid felt—small, scared, defenseless. “York…” I whispered.

York looked up with vulnerability in his brown eyes, a glimpse behind his armor. “Anyone else would’ve done the same,” he said quietly.

“Maybe, but not everyone does, and definitely not like you did.”

His breath hitched. Then he turned away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

The defensive walls were back, maybe even higher than before. And like before, I would respect them, hoping for the day he’d trust me enough to confide in me. Because something had happened to him…and my gut said it all came back to his brother.

11

YORK

“Ah, you’re using the Caro-Kann Defense.” I studied the chessboard. “You have been learning, my young Padawan.”

Gabe and I sat in the corner of Fir’s living room at what we had dubbed the chess table. Josiah was at a friend’s house, and Fir and Quillon were in the kitchen, where Quillon was helping Fir clean up after dinner. Fir had indeed made pasta with meatballs and red sauce, which had been delicious as always. How had I never realized that not only did I have a favorite dish but that Fir made it for me whenever I came over for dinner? Something so simple, yet it meant so much.

“I told you it wouldn’t be as easy anymore to beat me,” Gabe said triumphantly.

I chuckled. “Hold off on celebrating just yet, buddy. The fact that I recognize the defense should tell you I also know how to beat it.”

Gabe was undeterred. “Bring it.”

I loved his confidence, which was essential to playing chess well. People could deny it all they wanted, but chess was partly psychological. If you believed you could win, you stood a much better chance of achieving victory.

“How’s school been?” I asked.

“Good. This new kid named Matt approached me. Said you sent him.”

Oh, the bullied kid had talked to Gabe? I was proud of him. “He was getting harassed by some bigger guys outside Collins.”

Gabe sighed. “Probably TJ and Nicholas. They’re in eighth grade, and they’re assholes. They’re brothers, though TJ is a year older. He got held back at his previous school.”

“Are they new?”

“They moved here last summer. Their dad is a vet, so he’s gone a lot, and their mom is an actress or something. They have a nanny.”

“A nanny?” That was rather pretentious for Forestville, wasn’t it? At the same time, I also recognized the pain those boys were coping with. “It’s not easy when your parents don’t see you,” I said softly.

Gabe studied me for a few seconds, then nodded. “I get that, even though I have no clue how it feels. As a doctor, Dad is always busy, but we’ve always been his priority, and if he’s not home, Grandpa and Grandma are there. Well, now there’s Tomás, but before that, I mean.”

Gabe knew what loss was. He’d lost his father, Fir’s husband, Samuel. How old had Gabe been again? “How old were you when your father died?”

“Eleven.”

“I’m not sure how to ask this without sounding insensitive…”

“Just ask it. I know your intentions are good.”

See? That was why I liked Gabe so much. Josiah too. Just like their dad, they seemed to understand me and not take things the wrong way. “I know you still miss him, but how does it feel? How often do you think of him?”

Gabe leaned back, the chess board forgotten. “Not a day goes by when I don’t think of him, but it’s not always painful. Sometimes, I remember something funny he did or a ridiculous story he told me, and then I smile. I have many wonderful memories of him, which will always stay with me.”

Maybe he had an easier time letting go because the good memories softened the pain. But shouldn’t that be true for my parents as well? Shouldn’t their memories of Essex have made it possible to think back of him with love rather than hold on to the pain of their loss? “I don’t understand people.”

Gabe chuckled. “You and me both.”

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