Page 71 of Haunted By the Shadow of Death

“If she does, don’t bargain for me. I can’t live knowing what it cost you. I’d rather die.”

If somehow she showed before he was dead, I’d give her anything, so I didn’t speak.

“Promise me,” he said, as if he could read my thoughts.

I still didn’t speak.

“Promise,” he said louder.

“Fine. I promise,” I said, only to avoid drawing attention to us, afraid they’d shoot him again.

He settled down a bit, and I wrapped my arms around his torso, willing my strength into him.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

It had been hours. How many, I didn’t know, but the sky had completely darkened and the moon was right above us, shedding light on Kicks’ still body.

He wasn’t going to shift. He wasn’t going to get better. He was dying, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

There had been laughter up above as they listened to me beg, threaten, and demand that the dying man in my arms live. Then they’d grown bored of the show and moved on while I listened to his breathing, waiting for it to stop.

With his head cradled in my lap, my legs had gone numb hours ago. I didn’t care as I ran my hands through his hair, over and over again, trying to bring him some comfort or peace, or strength to fight—but mostly because I wanted to touch him, be near him in any way I could, while I could.

I’d watched my mother die, then the death of most of the human race. I couldn’t watch another person die, especially not him. Not Kicks, who was always so strong. It was like watching a mountain crumble in front of me.

You will not die, I thought, trying to force my will upon him.

If I could kill someone with touch, why couldn’t I save someone? I willed all my energy, everything I had, into him, trying to force my power into his body. But nothing happened. He didn’t stir and seemed to slump down farther. No matter what I hoped or prayed for, nothing seemed to make him come around. If he died, I’d find a way to kill every single one of them.

The only reason he was here was me. If I hadn’t been so stupid and foolish, I would’ve left in the night. Kicks wouldn’t be here. If I’d left after the very first death at the pack, he wouldn’t be here. I was the reason he was going to die. He might not be able to deal with the cost of what I’d be willing to pay, but I couldn’t live with his death on my hands.

I’d made a promise that I didn’t think I could keep, and I didn’t care what the ramifications were. He wasn’t dying if there was anything I could do about it.

I brushed a hand over his cheek. “You can’t die. Do you hear me? I love you, and you can’t die on me. You can’t.” Uttering the words aloud seemed to unleash a fresh stream of tears from me.

His lips parted on a slight moan, as if some part of him had heard me, was trying to fight for me, but he didn’t have the strength left in his battered body.

“Death? I know you’re somewhere nearby. Come and help me and I’ll give you whatever you want.”

I waited for her to appear in front of me like a genie to do my bidding. But it had been an idiotic thought, because nothing happened, as it hadn’t all the other times.

I called her again and again. I continued calling her as Kicks grew weaker in my arms. If I could’ve ripped open a vein and fed him my blood to save him, I would’ve.

I continued to call Death, even as all hope seemed to disappear and the tears were flowing like rivers down my cheeks.

The sky began to lighten as I continued my vigil. Kicks hadn’t stirred at all for hours, and I could sense that his time was almost up. I’d held him through the night, praying that at some point something would kick in, that some part of what I had would save him. It was a desperate notion, but I was desperate. I couldn’t think past his dying enough to even try to save myself. It was like a brick wall was erected in my mind, where there was Kicks alive and then there was nothing. I couldn’t make it past his death.

But then I’d think of Charlie and knew I’d have to keep going, no matter how painful it was. I had to keep going for him, even if I was losing the will to do it for myself. I had to make sure he was somewhere safe. I’d trusted Kicks to do that for me, but now…

I shifted again, curving my body around his, trying to keep him warm so he’d have more energy to fight.

“Still alive, but doesn’t look like for much longer,” someone yelled from above.

I looked up, catching sight of the face so that I could memorize it when I got out of here and knew who to make sure I killed first. That dark part of me, the piece of Death that had continued to grow, seemed to awaken and prick up its ears at my bloodlust. I didn’t care. I wanted it to grow if it would help me save him.

The shifter looked down, meeting my glare with a sadistic smile. “I hope I’m the one who gets to burn you.”

The dark part of me swelled, pulsing to life, and I tried to encourage it.

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