Page 42 of Haunted By the Shadow of Death

“I expect you to take care of her,” he said. It was the first time I’d seen him speak to Kicks like this. “She’s like a little sister to me, and I don’t care what this looks like—she’s good people.”

“You don’t need to tell me my business. She’s my mate. No one will touch her,” Kicks said.

Rastin stared at Kicks for a few seconds before he seemed to get whatever he needed from him.He nodded, and Kicks gave him a pat on the shoulder.

He looked back at me one last time. “It’ll all be good,” he said. “I will see you again.”

I smiled as if I agreed. Nothing had been good before Death Day, and it had been getting worse ever since. I was done waiting for this good to happen. My bar for a good day was much lower. I was happy if no one died in my presence.

“We needed to go to California anyway.” Kicks walked over and sat next to me. “We’ll see what answers we get there.”

“Why would you leave this? This is your home. It’s where you belong.” Belonging somewhere was so much more important than I’d ever given it credit for. I wouldn’t take that away from anyone.

“I made a commitment, and I don’t take that lightly. If you can’t stay here, then we go together.”

“I’m relieving you of your commitment.” I wouldn’t get into it again, but he owed me nothing. Less than nothing. I was in debt to him.

“I don’t accept.” His tone was firm.

I got up from the chair, feeling as if I had to put space between us. “Why can’t you just let me go? Even if you wanted a guide, I’m not worth this aggravation. I’m not the guide that’s going to bring your pack anything good.”

He stood as well. “You’re going to drag Charlie out of this pack, and then what? Roam alone, just the two of you? You think you’re unkillable, but you’re wrong. You’ll never survive out there on your own.”

“I’ll be fine, and it’s not your decision.”

“Groza has a price on your head. The second you leave this pack, you’re dead. Word will get out, and they’ll come hunting you. I’m the only thing keeping you alive, and even that’s iffy at this point.”

It was even worse than I’d known. If I tried to take Charlie with me, I’d be guaranteeing his death.

This was why Kicks wouldn’t let me leave. He didn’t want another death on his hands.

I must’ve looked gray, because Kicks’ tone softened as he said, “You didn’t kill them. I know you didn’t.”

“Whether or not I killed them, they’re dead, and the pack isn’t going to feel any better about me in this lifetime.”

“We will find an answer.”

I doubted that, but I’d go with him to California and, if need be, disappear somewhere between here and there.

“I need to get some things in order so we can leave before morning.” He stood there for a second before adding, “I’m going to have a couple of the guys keep an eye on the cabin while I wrap up a few details. If you see them, don’t be alarmed.”

I settled into the corner of the couch, pulling a throw tight around my shoulders as I realized the implication. The guards would be here to make sure I wasn’t murdered.

“I’m not exactly helpless.”

“It’ll make me feel better.”

I shrugged. I didn’t care. It might be better if they were there. If Magnum brought Charlie back, I didn’t want the kid’s last memory of me to be a killing spree if someone tried to attack.

Chapter Eighteen

I looked about the empty room.

“Widow Herbert?” I watched, waiting for her to appear. I hadn’t seen her in forever, and I could really use her right now. She’d never stayed away this long.

“Jaysa?” I whispered, willing to take anyone who said they were on my side, even if they weren’t alive or necessarily on the right side of things.

I pulled the blanket closer, trying to fight off the feeling of dark coldness that seemed to be taking root inside of me. Even if no one had died, there was something going wrong inside of me. I could feel it.

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