Page 41 of Haunted By the Shadow of Death

I wasn’t sure if Kicks was still going to insist things would be okay or accept reality, but I knew the truth of it, even as numb as I was. I had to leave. But now what? How did I get out of here? Would they rip me apart before I left? I shouldn’t have waited so long. I’d known it wasn’t going to work out, and now here I was, about to flee another pack.

“We need to get back to the cabin and figure this out,” Kicks said.

There was no figuring anything out. There were no options left on the table but my fleeing.

“What about Louise?” Crackers said, pointing to the body.

Kicks looked at her for a second and said, “Carry her out the back and put her in the cold house. We’ll figure out the rest later.”

Chapter Seventeen

Charlie was at Magnum’s cabin, which we could see from our cabin’s window. I was sitting on the couch as Kicks, Rastin, Buddie, and Evangeline talked by the window. They’d been chatting in hushed tones for close to half an hour, as if they could decide my fate. Those days were over. I was deciding my own path.

“I can’t stay,” I said, interrupting their quiet chatter. “Not after this. It doesn’t matter whether I’m causing the deaths or not. I have to leave.”

“She’s right. It’s too much,” Evangeline said to Kicks, then turned to me. “I’m sorry. I don’t want that to be the case, but there’s no point in denying it.”

She looked almost as unsettled as me. It didn’t matter what Kicks said. She knew this situation was beyond repair.

“Kicks, she’s right,” Rastin said. “Your pack is on the verge of anarchy.” He, on the other hand, didn’t seem rattled but a realist.

“We go see the guide in California. He might have some answers. If we can understand what’s going on, I think we can fix it.” Kicks watched me as he spoke, trying to gauge my reaction, searching for a hint of what might truly be going on in my head.

I didn’t give him much more than a nod. Going to another guide wouldn’t solve this problem. It would only buy me some time to figure out my next steps. I knew I had to get out of here.

But what about Charlie? I couldn’t leave him here, not now. He might be safer far away from me, but after what had just happened? Would his relation to me still leave him untainted by my crimes? I couldn’t drag him to the California pack, where I wasn’t welcome. I didn’t know what to do with him, but being with me wasn’t the answer, not until I knew what I was doing, where I was going, and what I was becoming.

“Buddie, Rastin, I need you guys to do something for me. I know it’s a lot, but I need this.” I stood but didn’t make the mistake of going closer.

“What is it? You know I’ve got your back,” Buddie said.

“Of course we will,” Rastin said.

“I want you to take Charlie to visit Maddocks’ pack in Florida for a couple of weeks. I want him out of here.”

“Definitely,” Buddie said, nodding.

“I was about to run through the roster here anyway,” Rastin said. “I wouldn’t mind checking out Maddocks’ lineup. Plus, who knew how damned cold it got here? I thought I was in the South. What’s with this frigid weather?” He shuddered, trying to make a joke the way he always did when things were at their worst.

I couldn’t laugh. Not tonight, knowing I had to leave and might never see these people again. Might never see Charlie.

“Take care of him? Please?” I said, trying to keep my feelings from erupting and letting any of them know what my plans really were.

“Piper, you realize you’re talking to a ride-or-die,” Rastin said. “No one is touching a hair on that kid’s head. You have my word. I’ll die before anything happens to him, and I’m one tough son of a bitch to kill.”

Kicks turned to Evangeline. “Can you handle things while we’re gone? I’ll ask Crackers to step up, too.”

“You know I will,” she said before taking a deep breath, as if the idea of Kicks’ leaving was shredding her inside.

“Then we all leave tomorrow,” Kicks said.

There were some hesitant glances back to me, as if they didn’t know how to handle our goodbyes.

I nodded at them. “We’ll all be back soon enough,” I said, smiling as I lied.

“Guess we better go pack,” Buddie said, walking toward the door with Evangeline.

Rastin paused, not following them out but staring at Kicks.

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