Page 30 of Haunted By the Shadow of Death

“It’s my choice, same as yours.” He continued to sip his, as if he’d already thought this out.

Maybe he wasn’t as immune to reality as I feared. Still, this was not an option. I wouldn’t ruin his life along with mine. He shouldn’t be punished because he was loyal.

“I think you’re taking this situation between us too far. You claimed me as your mate because you wanted a guide for your pack. I agreed because it was an easier way to transition. But your pack isn’t going to want a guide bad enough to keep me, and we both know they aren’t getting any benefit from me.” As I said the words aloud, for the first time I truly began to feel the loss. We might not be truly mated in my mind, but I lived with him, I spoke to him every day, and I was going to miss him, maybe more than I’d imagined I could.

“I claimed you as my mate. I made a commitment and declared it to the world. Just because we haven’t slept together doesn’t change that. Nothing is going to change that.” He put his glass down and walked out, as if he wouldn’t even hear anything else on the subject.

I used to wonder what it would be like to have someone as loyal as Kicks at your back. Now I knew, and unfortunately for him, I was an albatross around his neck. I wouldn’t destroy his life along with mine.

Chapter Twelve

It was the second day since Zetti had died, a day since Kicks had informed the pack they were going to either get along with me or get out, and we were all sitting around the kitchen table like nothing was amiss. Kicks, after sleeping who knew where last night, had strolled in with a basket of freshly baked croissants and an urn of coffee and fresh milk. Even the buttery perfection of the croissant couldn’t distract me from the strangeness of the situation. Were we really going to pretend everything was normal after what had happened?

“Charlie, the teacher was asking about you. Are you ready to start school?” Kicks said, his voice too casual.

Yep. We were going to keep going like nothing had happened. It had been the plan to get Charlie in school, but that was before Zetti died. Did Kicks not realize the potential issues now?

“Do they have room? If they’re mid-semester or in the middle of lessons, maybe he should wait?” I phrased it like a question, but my stare made it clear Charlie wasn’t going anywhere until I checked things out. The condemning glares from the pack were still fresh and raw in my mind, but Kicks thought sending Charlie to school with these people was a great idea?

Charlie stared at me as he continued to eat, as if he couldn’t figure out what had happened to me.

“I talked to the teacher this morning, and she isn’t worried about him starting mid-lesson. She doesn’t think it’ll be a problem,” Kicks said, trying to imply everything would be fine because they’d had a chat.

“Still, I’d like to go check out the school before he starts.” Just because this teacher was nice to Kicks, the alpha, the leader who could banish her, didn’t mean she’d treat my helpless little six-year-old well.

“Do you not like the teacher?” Charlie asked, worry starting to leak into his voice.

“No, not at all! I’ve never even met her.” At least, I didn’t think I had. “I just want to go check everything out myself and make sure it’s good.”

“That’s a great idea. I’ve got to help at the mill, but I’ll be around this afternoon if you want me to come,” Kicks said.

“That’s okay. Charlie and I can go after he’s done eating.” There was no way I was waiting for Kicks so he could taint the whole experience with his alpha presence, skewing their reactions.

Kicks nodded, a look in his eyes saying he understood.

We all fell silent again. The idea of Charlie being away from me at this point made me want to choke on my croissant.

“I wonder if Alex and Petro will be there today?” Charlie said, mentioning the two kids he’d been playing with the other day. “I’m going to go get ready.” He choked down the rest of his croissant and was off to his room.

I shot a glare in Kicks’ direction before picking up some plates and bringing them to the sink.

“It’ll be fine,” he said, following me.

“You can’t know that.”

“Cecelia, the teacher, is a kind-hearted shifter. You’ll like her.”

I wasn’t so sure, but I wouldn’t start this argument until after I met her.

The morning sun was hidden behind storm clouds, as if trying to warn me this wouldn’t be a good day, while Charlie and I walked toward the school. He scanned everyone we neared with a squinty look.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“It’s obviously something,” I said.

“Are they staring at you because that woman died and they think you did something?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

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