Page 27 of Haunted By the Shadow of Death

“You can’t force the pack to accept this, or get mad at them for hating me,” I said. “It was horrible, and the way it looks? I’d hate me. You should hate me.”

“There’s some explanation. We don’t know it, but something will make sense of it.”

The only explanation I could come up with was that I’d seen her deep dislike of me flash, and my powers had killed her. As distasteful as it was, nothing else fit. But I wasn’t brave enough to voice that aloud.

There was a soft knock on the door, followed by Evangeline asking, “It’s me. Can I come in?”

I was going to have to see all these people sooner or later anyway. It would be easier to start with her, and it didn’t sound like she was hostile.

Kicks walked over, opening the door for her. “How’s it going out there?”

“I’m trying to calm them down, but I’m not going to lie—it’s not great,” Evangeline said.

“Stay with her,” he said, then glanced back at me, pausing before he left.

I nodded. Getting out there and managing the pack was more important, considering how ugly things could get and how fast they could devolve.

Evangeline walked in, trying a halfhearted smile before giving up the effort. It didn’t go unnoticed that she had her arms crossed in front of her and stopped with a healthy buffer of distance between us.

I didn’t know what to say. Everyone thought I was the killer, and even I was wavering on it.

Given what I’d done, the word “sorry” felt like trying to fix a gunshot wound with a Band-Aid. How could it do anything but make her angrier than she probably was?

“I’m so sorry,” I said, not knowing what else to do or say.

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt her. I could see the shock on your face, as if you hadn’t expected it.” She nodded as she spoke, as if she were actively trying to reassure herself she wasn’t in the room with a monster.

“I don’t know what happened. I didn’t touch her, but I know how bad it looks. I understand if you hate me.” My voice cracked, knowing how pathetic my words were and how short they fell of exonerating me in any way.

She shook her head. “I don’t hate you. Of course I’m upset over the loss of Zetti, but you’re not a bad person. You wouldn’t have done this on purpose. Something had to have happened. Did she scare you somehow?” She was doing mental gymnastics trying to make sense of a situation that had no answer.

“No. Not even a little.”

She just nodded. It was beyond obvious she was convinced I’d killed Zetti. The only thing I had going for me was she thought it was an accident.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll figure out what happened and go from there,” she said, her words a thin veneer of reassurance.

I believed that as much as she did. Deep down, a part of me was terrified that nothing would ever be okay again.

Chapter Eleven

I was lying in bed at dawn, wearing the same clothes as last night, staring at the ceiling, when Kicks walked in.

“I’ve been thinking about this all night. I think the best way to approach it is to hit it head-on, call everyone over, and just put it out there.”

I sat up, not liking the sound of this at all. “Put what out there?”

“That we’re looking into what happened. That you had no malice toward Zetti and that you aren’t to be blamed for what happened. That’s it. Beginning and end of story.”

I stared at him, speechless. Could he be that naïve to think this would work? He’d declare it so and that was it?

I finally found some words, and they weren’t good for my case. “Except even you doubt whether I killed her or not.”

“It looks bad, but you don’t think you killed her. I believe you.” He walked over to the window, looking as if he were trying to piece this together himself. “I believe, at least, that it wasn’t intentional.”

I hoped he wasn’t planning on putting that last line into the speech. It didn’t sound like a winner.

“These people don’t know me enough to guess at my intentions or presume I didn’t mean to murder her,” I replied. “What they’ve heard is going to make them lean the other way. This won’t work.”

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