Page 26 of Sheltering Lily

“Really?” This might be a dream come true. I leaned closer, almost sticking my sleeve in my lemon cake. “What else do you know about it?”

“It’s essentially an assistant position,” she cautioned. “You wouldn’t be creating or drawing anything. Instead, you’d be working with an established comic artist. Your tasks could range from coloring in his sketches to fetching coffee, I can’t say for sure—but it would be a foot in the door. You’d be able to network with all of his contacts, and you could get a sense from him of how the publishing world really works. I know you’ve gotten a little bit of a sense of it from me, but this would be much more hands-on. It would also put you right there in the publishing hub so that you’d be aware of other opportunities.”

“That sounds great. When does it start?” I asked.

My aunt smiled. “He isn’t going to start the hiring process for about three weeks. I do think it would be a good chance to figure out if you want to be part of the comic world or not.”

“What do you mean?” Of course I wanted to be part of it. Getting to work in the art world had had been my dream for a long time—ever since I could remember, really. I’d buried it because of my parents’ disapproval…which meant I’d wasted years, a mistake I wouldn’t make again. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I love the life you lead. Here you are, flying off to talk comics for the weekend. How awesome is that?”

“It is awesome. For me. But I don’t know that it’s your awesome.”

I sat back in my chair, trying to make sense of my aunt’s attitude.

“Listen, kiddo,” Aunt Maddie said. “Your parents are robots programmed to live the perfect life of prestigious academics. I mean no offense, because they’re brilliant people and I love them, but that’s the truth. You never fit into that life, not even when you were a little girl. You’ve struggled in the narrow confines they allowed you, and I get that you want to break out—but in order to do that, you have to find your own path. Comic books are mine, and I think you’ve always seen them as wonderful because they were the antithesis to everything your parents insisted on for you.”

“Aunt Maddie—” I was confused by my aunt’s words.

“Hear me out. I would be beyond delighted if you chose to become a comic artist like me—absolutely thrilled—but I don’t want you to get caught up in someone else’s dream. I don’t want you to be fascinated with the comic world because of the life I’ve led. Glamorous though it may be.” She chuckled and reached for my hand. “I know you love art, and I believe you’d got a real gift for it, but comics might not turn out to be the right medium for you. You’ve got to find your own way. It might be comics, but it might be something entirely different. Didn’t you say you were enjoying sculpture?”

“I am.” My instructor insisted that I had great talent in that field, which was gratifying. “But comics have always been special to me.”

“And perhaps they’re your future. You’ve got three weeks to think about it, so take your time coming to a decision. You don’t have to rush into anything.”

“I won’t,” I promised, but I was already imagining myself working in New York City, seeing a comic book with my name on it available for sale in a bookstore window. It would be such a change from my life as a teacher. I could never go back to living by the bell schedule, so I had to look forward—and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do that.

“I hate to eat and run,” my aunt said, checking the time on her phone, “but I’ve got to get back to the airport.”

As we drove, we chatted about Aunt Maddie’s children and my siblings, catching up on as much as we could in the time we had. I dropped my aunt at the curb, gave her one last wave, and headed to Colin’s house, still floating on cloud nine. I couldn’t believe my luck.

From watching my aunt’s career grow, I knew comic books were a competitive field. People thought that comic artists hung out in their pajamas and had it easy. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was a dog-eat-dog world, and having good connections could mean the difference between supporting myself on art and failing as so many aspiring artists had. Talent was essential, but who you knew in the industry was also key.

I automatically made the turns to Silvan Street, my mind whirling with possibilities. When I parked in front of Colin’s white house marked with the butterfly stakes, a terrible wave of queasiness hit me, and I realized the magnitude of the decision I was contemplating. It wasn’t just about me.

I’d have to leave Colin and Sofia to pursue this opportunity. I’d have to leave the life I’d made here. My chest tightened as I tried to put order to my thoughts. I’d never intended being Sofia’s nanny to be more than a temporary job, a stopgap measure on my way to something greater. I’d made that clear to Colin from the start, even back when I was interviewing for the job. But that was before I came to love Sofia. The toddler was bright and warm, finding delight in everything.

And then there was Colin. We’d come a long way from my first impression of him. He wasn’t uptight and rigid about rules, not even a little. I’d seen his funny, relaxed, loving side. He was also kind, generous, and so damn sexy that he made my toes curl. He was everything I could ever imagine wanting in a guy—but that didn’t mean that we had a future together. Not when our lives were heading in different directions. I closed my eyes, hoping that would diminish the pain searing through me. It didn’t. Instead, all the moments I’d shared with him danced before me.

Was I really ready to leave him? If I was honest with myself, I’d have to answer no. But the other side of my brain argued that this internship might be my best opportunity to get into the comic book world. How could I turn it down?

Damn it. I slapped my hands against the steering wheel of my little car. Why did I feel I had to choose between having a life like my mother’s or one like my aunt’s?

And why was this a hard choice? A few months ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated. My bags would have been packed in no time, and I’d have been looking for places to live in New York City before my aunt’s flight touched down in Chicago.

But these past few months had changed everything. They’d brought me a little girl to care for and a man who made my heart skip a beat when he walked in the door or took me to his bed. Could I walk away from them to pursue my dream?

I didn’t know the answer to that question yet, but I did know I had to be honest with Colin about the internship and the possibility I could be leaving. No matter how difficult that conversation would be.

13

COLIN

Ismiled as I walked through my front door. The stereo in the living room was playing music, but more appealing was the laughter and chatter coming from the kitchen. My dark-haired girls must be up to something. I was glad work hadn’t kept me late that night, so I’d have some time to spend with them.

I followed the sound of their voices, noticing the stack of comic books on the dining room table and a doll sitting in one of the chairs. Sometimes I could barely recognize this place as mine. It had lost quite a bit of its pristine whiteness, and I was okay with that. With Lily around, the house had come to life—like that scene in The Wizard of Oz when black and white gave way to color.

I chuckled when I reached the kitchen, where the island was covered in art supplies—paper, crayons, pieces of clay, scissors, glue, and what looked like carving implements. Yeah, the me from a couple of months ago would definitely think he’d walked into the wrong house.

“Dada,” Sofia shrieked from the stool where she sat.

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