Page 14 of Sheltering Lily

I groaned, imagining the intimate scene between Colin and the faceless woman. It shouldn’t matter to me. It didn’t matter to me.

Damn it. It did.

I reached for my laptop, looking for a distraction. The advice column I frequented was often entertaining. People posted all sorts of problems they faced, seeking others’ input. I sometimes gave my opinion. I scanned through the latest topics.

Investment question. Not my gig.

College student seeking advice on getting an internship. Not that either.

Girl with the hots for unattainable guy. Sounded familiar.

I read on. I’ve been crushing on a guy I work with for months. He’s friendly to me, but in a little sister sort of way, which sucks. What sucks more is that he keeps dating people I know but has never once looked at me that way. He’s super cute, smart, ambitious. Everything I want in a guy if he would only NOTICE that I’m right next to him. What should I do? I haven’t dated in forever because I’ve been hoping he’ll see me. Is that silly? Should I risk revealing my feelings for him or move on?

I stared at the unadorned white walls of Colin’s living room. What advice could I offer? The same that I was struggling to give myself? Maybe putting it into words would help me finally get a grip on myself… I started typing, working out my thoughts as I went.

Let him go, Girl. There’s no good ending when you’re crushing on someone unavailable. Get over it by imagining him with all kinds of disgusting habits like he chews with his mouth open, burps loudly, leaves wet towels and dirty socks on the floor. Pretty soon you’ll be looking for Mr. Right someplace else. Or maybe you don’t need anyone at all. Go do what makes you happy.

I clicked the Submit button, adding my opinion to the forum. It had been easy to give, but it was hard to take. I squinted up my eyes, trying to form an image of socks on the floor of Colin’s bedroom. No socks appeared, but the moment of our almost kiss there came into sharp focus.

7

LILY

“Hi, Mom, it’s good to see you.” I greeted my mother outside the country club the next town over that my parents had belonged to as long as I could remember. We didn’t hug. We never hugged. It wasn’t in the family’s DNA, but I was genuinely happy to meet my mother for lunch.

“Good to see you, too. You look well.” My mom, Veronica Rhodes, was elegantly dressed in a powder blue suit and taupe heels.

I had taken extra care with my wardrobe, hair, and makeup that morning. I wasn’t conforming to my parents’ wishes, but it was easier to get along with them if I gave them something of what they wanted. I had ramped up the color, though, opting for a bubblegum-pink dress with a full skirt. On my feet I wore metallic gold ballet flats. I was finding my style, finding what I was comfortable in, and I wasn’t going to suppress that, no matter what my mother thought of it.

“So do you,” I returned as we entered the club’s dining room. I’d eaten countless meals there and knew exactly what to expect on the menu and who might be seated at the other tables. They would be full of the ladies who lunch, shop, and play golf to fill their days. Not my idea of a good time.

“I got something for Sofia while I was shopping.” Mom pulled a doll from her oversized Coach purse. “I thought she might like it.”

I accepted the soft-body doll that was perfectly sized for a toddler. “It’s lovely. I’m sure she’ll like it.” My mother’s thoughtfulness was unexpected and made me glad I’d agreed to the lunch. In truth, I’d done it to avoid going to my family’s home and facing a dinner with my father sitting at the head of the table.

We talked about my siblings, my mother filling me in on the latest news in her life, until we’d begun eating our entrées. I could tell my mother was working up to something by her mannerisms.

“Your father thought you might be interested in teaching again.” She laid her fork down and blotted her lips with the napkin. “A position has opened up at Andrews, and he could put in a good word for you.”

Andrews was an all-girls boarding school about thirty miles away. “Mom, I?—”

“It would just be until the end of the school year,” Mom continued. “A teacher became ill and they need someone to fill in and finish out the term, but if you do a good job, you might be able to work your way into a permanent position.”

“I’m not interested, Mom. I like what I’m doing now.”

In truth, I was intensely grateful to be Sofia’s nanny. The girl was adorable, the pay generous, and I was saving my money to invest in the future I wanted. I dismissed any thoughts of the handsome man who paid my salary. We’d kept our interactions businesslike throughout the week. Colin had given no details about his date when he arrived home, and I hadn’t asked. For all I knew, he’d met the love of his life six days ago.

“But it’s not a career,” my mother pointed out. “Teaching is a solid profession. The income is stable, there are good benefits, and there’s growth potential—you could become a school leader eventually.”

Nothing sounded worse to me than being in charge of a school full of privileged kids like the ones at the Hartford Academy.

“I don’t enjoy teaching. I never did. I only taught because it seemed like the thing to do, since you and Dad were in education. I need to find what I want to do.”

My mother sighed, and I steeled myself for what was coming. Was I going to get the ungrateful-daughter lecture?

“I understand wanting to pursue your dreams,” Mom said.

“You do?” I couldn’t keep the surprise from my voice.

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