Page 12 of Sheltering Lily

A ping from an incoming text came from Colin’s phone. My eyes flew open, and I staggered back, the moment broken.

6

COLIN

Asecond ping immediately followed the first, making me reach into my pocket for the phone. The small screen lit up my dim bedroom.

How the hell had I ended up in my bedroom with Lily?

Since I didn’t want to look at her, didn’t want to think about the kiss that almost happened, I focused on the message.

Sorry, bro. We can’t babysit Saturday night. Carolyn’s got a sales rep in from out of town. Wine and dine time for us.

Christ, I had completely forgotten about the date I’d set up for the weekend. What was the woman’s name? Sarah? It was in my calendar, but damn if I knew. Also in my calendar was the fact that Mandy and Chance were going to be away that weekend for her cousin’s wedding, which meant that they wouldn’t be able to babysit either.

I looked at the second message.

Maybe Lily can?

As in maybe Lily, the woman I’d almost kissed less than a minute ago, would babysit so I could go on a date with another woman. I glanced up at her. She’d retreated to the bedroom door and stood on the threshold, clearly unsure if she should stay or go.

Could I ask her? If I could rewind ten minutes to when we were eating in my kitchen, no problem…but I’d made it a problem by acting on the attraction I felt for her. Damn. I never acted impulsively. I did one time, and it bit me in the butt.

“Work?” she asked, her voice higher than normal.

“No. It’s Zach.” Here was my opportunity to explain about the message, but I hesitated, thinking through my words, thinking through what I knew about Lily. She wasn’t interested in what I was in terms of a relationship. She’d been clear about her no strings, no attachments mantra for her life right now.

Exactly the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted the stability of a long-lasting commitment. Sofia needed that in her life, and I did, too. Lily and I were all wrong for each other, I rationalized, and except for that evening, we’d each kept our priorities in line. But I’d stepped over the line because of an attraction I felt for the lovely woman who lived in my house and cared so devotedly for my daughter.

Time to pull back, remind himself of my intentions in having a nanny. I was supposed to be dating to find the right woman to be Sofia’s mother, because Lily wasn’t going to stick around forever. For all I knew, she could be gone in a few weeks.

“Do you have plans for Saturday night?” I asked, hoping to feel her out.

“Um…no,” she began, her hazel eyes broadcasting regret, “but…we shouldn’t. I mean, I’m not…” She retreated into the hall. She was trying to let me down easy, to let me know as kindly as possible she wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with me.

I breathed a sigh of relief, realizing I’d been worried for nothing. True to her claims, she wanted to remain free of entanglements.

“I didn’t mean for you and me to…” I paused to sort out my words. “I have a date. Zach and Carolyn were supposed to babysit for me on Saturday night, but Zach just texted to say they can’t. I was hoping you’d be free to watch Sofia. If you’re not, I completely understand, since it’s outside of our agreement.”

“Oh.” A tinge of pink showed on her cheeks as my meaning became clear. “I’m happy to watch her. I have a class at the art studio, but I’ll be back around five. Does that work?”

“It does. Thank you.”

“Sure, anytime. I don’t mind. Sofia’s a great kid to spend time with.”

“Thanks. I think so, too, which is why I’m trying to date more.” I felt the need to explain my actions. “I want to find her a mother. You’re great, but as you’ve said, you won’t be here forever, and I want Sofia to have a stable female presence in her life. Mandy and Carolyn do what they can, but she deserves to have a mother.”

“Makes sense. Every girl needs that,” she said. “I’m going to say good night.”

I heard her light footsteps on the stairs and in the kitchen. The crinkle of bags told me she was cleaning up from our dinner. I waited until all the sounds had ceased, took a quick peek at Sofia, who was sleeping soundly, and went downstairs. I needed some fresh air.

Quietly, I let myself out the door and stood on the sidewalk in front of my house, breathing in the cool night air and trying to clear my head.

What had I been thinking in that moment when I’d nearly kissed my daughter’s nanny? Clearly I hadn’t been thinking at all. I had felt a rush of desire—unwanted and inappropriate, but it had been there, nevertheless. I shook it off, reminding myself of my objective of finding a wife and mother so I could give Sofia what I hadn’t had. A loving, happy two-parent home.

My eyes focused on a slow-moving car on the street. As it passed my house, I recognized it as the one I’d seen several weeks ago. Gray Toyota Camry, about five years old, with dark tinted windows. Again, I tried to make out details about the driver but wasn’t able to. The license plate was obscured by a tinted cover as well. Not the norm in this neighborhood. The car made a left turn and disappeared around a corner, leaving me unsettled.

My warning senses fired again, as they had previously when I’d spotted that vehicle. I didn’t like it. I knew the people who lived in this neighborhood—knew what cars they drove. A guy passing through, going slowly, might happen once if he was visiting someone and wasn’t sure of the address, but why would it happen twice? It felt off to me, and I wasn’t a man who took chances.

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