“It’d certainly be fun to be that carefree.” I said. “But that would be impossible. We’re adults now and we have to live in the present.”
“True. But we can make the present as sweet as the past. That’s all I mean.” Malek appeared so at ease, losing himself in these old memories.
I didn’t think I’d ever seen him look as happy as he did right now. It seemed that part of Malek’s obsession with safety and control stemmed from his desire for things to be like they were when we were children in the forest together.
It was okay to look back at the past with longing. But to want so badly to recreate a time that had already passed, that you’d go to any length to get to it? That was to fly in the face of reality and to disregard it all together. That I couldn’t do.
The children invited us to play with them, to Malek’s delight. We played hide and seek, freeze tag and red light, green light together. It was surreal, bonding with a part of myself that until recently, I’d forgotten even existed. It was fun reliving the past and I was glad Malek brought us here.
It was Malek’s turn to be ‘it’ at ‘red light, green light’ and the children joined me in the clearing. Malek showed us his back and covered his eyes. He was about to start the round when some rustling sounds in the forest puzzled me.
I followed the sound through a patch of pine trees. On the other side Aurora and I sat, chatting. We both wore our old high school uniforms, our voices high with youthful elation.
“I told you you’d ace the midterms. Even Mr. Mack the Quack gave you an A.” Aurora popped my collar up.
“It’s not like I have a choice. The Advocacy Program won’t take me if I’m not in the top 5%.” The teenage me grinned haughtily at Aurora.
“Oh, they’ll take you regardless.” Aurora fanned the teenage me off dismissively. “Nobody in the pack has a bigger ‘savior complex’ than you. If they don’t let you in, I’ll burn the Advocacy School down myself.”
“You hold the match and I’ll strike it.” The teenage me said conspiratorially and they both laughed.
It felt like eons had passed since I even thought about my dream to become an advocate. My sole ambition in life was to defend those who couldn’t defend themselves. But now, years on from this conversation, I never made it to Advocacy School.
“That reminds me. How’s the book coming? Are you still fleshing out your characters? Do you know what the story will be about yet?” The teenage me asked, zipping in close to Aurora's face like it was an interrogation.
“I finished fleshing out the characters last week and I’m knee deep in the story planning stage!” She chirped excitedly, curling her head back with pride. “You’re looking at a bestselling author in the making. Just give me a few years. I’ll be signing my first movie deal. Just watch me.”
The teenage me encouraged Aurora and gave her a hearty pat on the back. They continued talking about their goals.
Aurora had been working on that one book straight up until the day I was kidnapped by the demi-gods. Her idea of being a best-selling author was still the goal that kept the dream flame burning. This dream of hers was one that Malek’s war would render impossible.
Hers and the dreams of countless others would be rendered nothing more than dust in the wind after his war. And what about my dream of defending others? Even though I never became an advocate, that didn’t mean I didn’t still have a responsibility to fight for the powerless.
“Sunny?” Malek’s voice jolted me and I jumped. “Here you are. I’ve been looking for you.”
He came in on my left, and whispered in my ear. “I have something to show you.”
He took me back the way we came, close enough to the river that I could smell water.
A grand dining table covered with delicious food was erected in a small opening between some ferns. Beside it, nestled in the grass, sat an open chest, overflowing with glittering gold, precious stones and other treasures. This chest resembled something straight out of a pirate movie.
“This isn’t a memory. I had this transported here from the palace.” He trailed over to the chest and rummaged through its glittering contents.
“The food I get, but why bring all this treasure here?” I asked.
He removed a gold necklace with a large green emerald clasp and brought it over to me.
Sweeping my hair behind my shoulders, he put the necklace on me, clipping it at the back. “I wanted to show you just how much you mean to me. This was my mother’s necklace. One of the few things I have to remember her by, I want you to have it.”
He looked down at me warmly, waiting for my response. This was more than a gift, it was a show of love and vulnerability that could not be easy for such a strong man to show.
I clutched the gorgeous emerald, the larger part of me wanting to accept it. But I felt guilty. I’d forgotten all about my dream to defend those who needed me. I was a sellout; a fraction of the woman I knew I should be.
Unbuckling the necklace, I shoved it into the center of his chest.
A picture of sadness, hurt, and confusion was written on his face as I ran off.
I raced through the trees as if I were being pursued. But one glimpse back revealed that Malek hadn’t followed.