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Shaking his head to himself, Aksel took Lucien’s hand in his and closed his eyes, allowing the sound of Lucien’s steady heartbeat to lull him into sleep.

After that night, Aksel noticed that Lucien became more relaxed in his presence, the wariness in his eyes fading whenever Aksel grabbed his hand and sat down next to him in public. He smiled more genuinely when Aksel told him about his adventures, none of the fake, nice smiles he gave everyone else. It made Aksel so proud he couldn’t help but scent-mark the other boy all the time: touching his wrist, his shoulder, and sometimes his throat too. Lucien giggled when he did the latter, clearly just humoring him, but Aksel didn’t mind, as long as Lucien let him do it.

His family seemed amused byAksel’s behavior too, thinking that he was just playing at being a grownup.

They didn’t understand.

They couldn’t.

How could they when Aksel barely understood it himself?

Chapter Three

The ironic thing about being soiled goods was, Lucien didn’t even remember much of the act that had ruined his life.

He remembered being unusually hot that day and going for a walk. After that, everything was a hazy blur. He remembered the crippling need, and he remembered the relief. Everything else was... murky. It was possible his mind simply refused to remember as a self-defense mechanism, but it wasn’t unusual for Dainiri omegas not to remember their heats well. Either way, his next clear memory was of waking up in the forest clearing at the edge of his father’s lands, filthy from head to toe, smelling oddly and covered in a staggering amount of bodily fluids.

The embarrassing truth was, at first Lucien hadn’t even realized what had happened to him—what had been done to him. He’d had to be told by his disgusted, furious father that he’d gone into his first heat and had been raped by what looked like a platoon of Pelugian soldiers. He’d been told he was pregnant—his scent already betrayed it. He’d been told to leave his home and never come back. His feeble, confused attempts to change his father’s mind had been ignored.

It’s your own fault, you little idiot!his father had snapped when Lucien had protested that it wasn’t his fault. He looked incensed, his scent bitter with fury and disgust.Have I not told you not to leave the house unaccompanied around the full moons? You brought this on yourself—on our entire family. We’ll never recover from this scandal! Get out. I never want to lay my eyes on you again.

It was the day Lucien realized how little value an omega had once he was ruined. His father, the man he’d used to worship and adore, his only living parent, saw no value in him now. He didn’t love Lucien anymore. Perhaps had never loved him.

It hurt. It hurt so much.

But it wasn’t even the worst part. Lucien quickly learned how cruel the world was to disgraced omegas. All of his friends suddenly weren’t at home when he called them. His private school ended his enrollment. His credit cards no longer worked. He had no pack, very little money, and no friends.He was completely alone in the world.

It almost didn’t surprise him when he had a miscarriage within the next few weeks.Too little to eat, too little sleep, and too much stress made it almost a forgone conclusion.

Lucien had thought he would be relieved.But all he felt was sickeningly, achingly alone, and more confused than ever. It seemed ironic—and grossly unfair—that he’d been disowned for getting gang-raped and knocked up when he barely remembered the incident nor had the consequences of it in his belly any longer.

All things considered, Lucien knew he was very lucky that Mr. Cleghorn took pity on him. The man was his father’s old friend who’d always been kind to him. He seemed to disagree with how his father had handled things and offered him the protection of his name. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just adopt Lucien: after his first heat, Lucien was considered an adult and adults couldn’t be legally adopted on Eila. So marriage was the only solution, Mr. Cleghorn explained kindly. It all seemed quite logical.

But there was a part of Lucien that didn’t trust it. Didn’t trust the man. He was wary of the alpha’s motives. He didn’t trust that his motives were as selfless and altruistic as he had claimed. His recent experiences had taught him that alphas were selfish, fickle, and cruel. They didn’t care about anything but their own pleasure, reputation, and comfort.

But he had no choice but to agree to Mr. Cleghorn’s proposal. The alternative was starving to death. And as miserable, defeated, and betrayed Lucien felt, he wanted to live.

So marrying Mr. Cleghorn it was.

The ceremony was a small, quick affair. It seemed strange to Lucien that he could even get married at all. He’d been considered a child just a few weeks ago. But per Kadarian law, he was considered of age now. He could marry a married man thirty years his senior because that man was an alpha. Alphas could do so many things omegas couldn’t, including having several spouses. It sickened him, the unfairness of their society, but he knew better than to complain. Complaining didn’t do anything. It was what it was.

All he could do was try to make the best of his situation.

But it was still difficult to hold his head high when he saw the disgust, the scorn in people’s eyes. Sometimes there was pity there, too, and it was almost worse. Mr. Cleghorn’s first spouse, Vagrippa, barely seemed able to look at Lucien, her expression pinched as she looked at some point to Lucien’s left whenever she addressed him. She clearly wasn’t happy about her husband’s decision to take a second spouse.

It was understandable, really. Vagrippa had recently given birth to a baby girl, and what new mother would like the attention in her family shifted from her and her baby to the ruined omega brought into her home by her husband?Lucien could feel her disdain and dislike with his skin, and he tried to make himself scarce whenever possible. He didn’t feel at home in the Cleghorns’ mansion. He felt like an outsider—hewasan outsider.

Not that he was complaining. He knew it could have been worse. Much worse.

Mr. Cleghorn was kind. He was kind enough to take Lucien to a doctor and buy him the suppressants the doctor recommended. Mr. Cleghorn didn’t seem to have any carnal designs on Lucien.

Itwasa relief, but at the same time, it made Lucien feel even more soiled and unwanted. Of course Mr. Cleghorn didn’t want him. What self-respecting alpha would want an omega who’d been used and rutted into by a dozen of alphas? Alphas liked pure, untouched omegas. Modern alphas might claim to support omega rights and designation equality, but everyone knew that deep down, all alphas were very possessive and territorial. They couldn’t stand the thought of their omega having been taken by another alpha in the past, much less by a platoon of them.

It was fine. Itwasfine, really.He shuddered in disgust when he imagined Mr. Cleghorn—or any other alpha—coming closer to him than a step.

And that was something of a problem.Despite not remembering clearly what had transpired during his first heat, Lucien seemed to have developed a strong aversion to alphas. He didn’t like being alone with them. He didn’t like talking to them. Even the fifteen-year-old Royce made him uncomfortable and tense, unable to relax in his company, despite Royce being on suppressants. Alphasrepelledhim.

Well, not all alphas.

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