Page 31 of Testing the Goalie

Sweet Boy: If by hang out you mean fuck like bunnies, then yes, I’m in!

I chuckle at his bluntness.

Me: Maybe I’ll just tease you all night long instead.

Sweet Boy: You love torturing me, don’t you?

Me: Only because I know you secretly love it.

Sweet Boy: Am I that transparent?

Me: Your body isn’t very good at lying.

Sweet Boy: I’m going to have to talk with my body about keeping some things on the down-low.

I laugh again, loving how playful he’s being. This is what I’ve missed throughout the week. His sexy text messages during work hours are a distraction and highly inappropriate, but I’d be lying if I said they weren’t a turn-on. Who knew I would miss them when they stopped? Not that I’ll admit that to Ben, of course. If I did, I’m sure he’d start bombarding me with dirty messages. A few here and there are a treat. Too many, and someone will find out, which would put my job on the line.

Me: I love how responsive your body is. Don’t ever change.

Sweet Boy: I won’t.

Sweet Boy: What time should I come over tomorrow?

I take a moment to figure out what time would be best. I want to give him my complete attention, and I have some chores and grading I’ll need to do first.

Me: What about six? I’ll cook us dinner.

Dots appear on the screen like he’s typing, but they keep disappearing. The longer it takes for him to respond, the more I second-guess inviting him over for dinner. Is there some sort of rule that friends with benefits can’t eat together? I mean, if I had it my way, we’d throw out that label and move toward something more, but there is no way Ben’s ready for that.

Sweet Boy: Yeah, I could probably make that work. But just a heads up, I probably shouldn’t spend the night.

My heart aches a little at the message because I loved holding him the other night. But I also understand why he’s putting the boundary up.

Me: Sure thing. See you at six?

Sweet Boy: I’ll be there.

After his last message comes through, I begin to brainstorm things to cook for us. We shared a few meals at the resort this summer, and I recall how Ben’s mouth watered when he found out salmon was on the menu.

That’s what I should cook for him.

With the help of Pinterest, I have a few recipes ready and am excited to try them out. I’ve always been a pretty decent cook, so I’m confident I can pull this off. But I’m also a little nervous that something will happen and I’ll mess it up, which would suck since I’m planning on impressing Ben tomorrow, not giving him food poisoning. Not that I’ve ever given someone food poisoning, but there’s a first time for everything. I only pray it doesn’t happen tomorrow.

I’ve also never been a worry wart. I’m always calm and confident in pretty much everything I do. But Ben brings out sides of myself I wasn’t even aware existed. That should scare the ever-loving daylights out of me, but it doesn’t.

It just proves how much I like him.

Now, I need the patience of a saint until Ben is ready to admit he likes me too.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

BEN

It was surprising it took Ian so long to text me, but the space was appreciated. I needed some time to collect myself and figure out how I’m going to keep feelings out of my relationship with him. He’s a great guy, and at another point in my life, he would be the perfect person to fall for, but the timing is all off.

Even if it was right, I’m not sure if he’s on the same page. His caring and sweet side is just a part of him. Even when we were at the resort, he was cuddly and caring after sex. It doesn’t mean he likes me more than just a friend, which is why I need to keep my heart locked up or stop what we’re doing now. Because eventually, this will come to an end, and I don’t need to be a broken mess when it does. The smart move would be ending things now, but I don’t want to.

I like being with Ian. And I love the way he fucks me. But it’s how he looks at me after rearranging my insides that has butterflies erupting in my stomach. He’s sweet and caring once he’s done being controlling and dominating. I crave both sides of him, which is beyond scary for many reasons—the main being my deep-seated fear of rejection. That’s why I need to keep my walls a mile high. The last thing I want is to be the idiot who suggests a no-strings-attached relationship then goes and gets attached.

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