Page 66 of Fear of Flying

They both laughed again, and Milo responded by making a beeline for the bed, jumping up, and settling smack dab in the middle, which only made them laugh harder. Drew was hanging on to Zach’s shoulder, almost doubled over with laughter.

Finally, they both straightened up, and Drew swiped the tears from his cheeks. They failed to convince Milo to get off the bed, and every forcible removal of the eighty-five-pound dog just ended with him hopping back up. Drew insisted to Zach that Milo was well-trained and had always been well-behaved at the rescue, and Zach just laughed some more. They eventually negotiated with Milo for him to use the lower left corner of the bed so that Drew and Zach could actually cuddle up together.

Once they were all settled back in bed, Zach snuggled into the crook of Drew’s shoulder, legs entangled and arms holding each other close—and Milo curled up in his assigned corner—Drew let out a deep but contented sigh.

“What are you thinking about?” Zach asked as he traced an aimless pattern on Drew’s chest.

“Would you be mad if I said I was about to drop off to sleep?”

Zach chuckled lightly, the whiff of air tickling Drew’s skin. “Did I wear you out?” Zach teased.

“Mmm, definitely.” Drew smiled lazily and kissed Zach’s forehead. “But also, Milo and I kinda pulled an all-nighter.”

“What?” Zach asked, shifting to look up at Drew.

He felt his cheeks heat up. “Uh, yeah. I, um, would have been here yesterday, but I had a shift at the shelter, and it was an adoption event on top of that, so I—”

“You had to go. I understand.” Zach nodded against Drew’s chest. “But why didn’t you sleep?”

“Because being without you hurt, like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I-I was prepared to live with that, to make sure that I wasn’t standing in your way of finding someone who could be what you wanted—”

“I just wanted you,” Zach whispered, his arm squeezing tighter around Drew’s chest and his hand coming up to so tenderly wipe the tears from Drew’s cheeks.

“I know. I know that now...” Drew sniffled and kissed Zach’s forehead again. “I just—I had myself convinced that you were better off without me, and we’ll, um, have to have a long talk about my parents later. But, um, god, this is a longer story—and I’ll tell you everything, I want to share everything with you—but the point is, I finally realized that I had to try, that if I loved you at all, I had to try. And once I made that decision, to drive here, I couldn’t sleep knowing that every second was one I could spend getting back to you.”

Zach sniffled, but an endearing grin crept across his face. “You know, flying might have been faster.”

Drew chuckled, his heart feeling lighter already. “Yeah, but Milo here’s afraid of flying.”

Zach laughed and shifted slightly so he was facing Drew more fully, and his hand came up to cup Drew’s cheek. “Did you offer to hold his paw and tell him it’s the safest way to travel, statistically speaking?”

“Mm-hmm.” Drew nodded. “Still wouldn’t go for it.”

“Can’t say I blame him. I wouldn’t fly either if I couldn’t sit next to you.”

Something about the slight tremble in Zach’s voice made Drew stop for a moment, his brow furrowing as he regarded Zach more closely.

A rueful smile crossed Zach’s face, and he looked away for a moment. “When you—when I—” He seemed to struggle to find the right words, but he continued when their eyes met again. “I rented a car and drove home from Pittsburgh,” he said quietly, a hint of shame in his voice that tore at Drew’s heart.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. I’m—” God, he hated himself for putting Zach through that.

Zach shook his head against Drew’s shoulder and stroked his thumb across Drew’s cheek. “It’s—you couldn’t have known. My massive anxiety isn’t your fault, and it’s actually kind of a hassle, a-a burden sometimes—”

“Zach,” Drew cut in, his heart hurting to hear the defeat and shame in Zach’s voice when he talked about himself. “Didn’t you just tell me that you loved me—right here, right now, right where I’m at?”

Drew felt Zach’s breath hitch and watched as his brow furrowed and his eyes shimmered with tears. Zach nodded, his hand slipping back down to Drew’s chest.

“Then what makes you think the same doesn’t go for you? Whatever you need. We’ll figure it out together, right?”

Zach let out a breathy sob. “Right.”

Drew dipped in for another kiss, something soft and tender and full of promise. A promise that he would never leave again. A promise that he would give Zach everything he could, and Zach would do the same in return. A promise that, as long as they were together, they could face anything.

“So maybe we can... promise to fly together from now on?” Drew asked softly.

A smile stretched across Zach’s face. “Sure thing, Superman.”

Epilogue

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