Page 56 of Fear of Flying

Brian smiled. He’d clearly been watching Drew, heartened maybe by witnessing the moment between his daughter and his brother. But then the serious look on his face returned. “Come out or don’t, that’s your decision—and I’ll support you and love you no matter what. I’m sorry if I never made that clear before, never supported you when it really mattered.”

“It’s o—” Drew closed his eyes and took a deep breath, that light, soft smell filling his senses again. He met his brother’s gaze. “Thank you, Brian. Thanks. I love you too.”

Long moments passed, and Drew was so grateful for the comfortable, companionable silence between him and Brian. All the words had been said, really, and Drew needed time to process, to maybe let them settle, to just think about what living his own life on his own terms might look like.

It looked a hell of a lot like Zach.

Drew tried to keep his breathing slow and steady, not wanting to wake Maddie. He thought about what Brian said, about their mom, about everything, and god, there was a scary amount of grief ahead of him. And therapy too, he supposed. Lots of therapy. Maybe with his mom, too, if she was willing.

But he didn’t want to think about any of that now, so he set it aside until later. He and Brian pushed the glider gently so that it swayed back and forth, ensuring little Maddie stayed asleep on her uncle’s chest. At some point, Sherri came out to collect Maddie, but not before cupping Drew’s face and giving him a tender, caring look, then kissing him on the forehead. “Love you, little brother.”

Drew’s heart squeezed, and he could feel more tears threatening. He wasn’t quite used to all this love, especially not when he was feeling so emotionally raw already.

Sherri reappeared minutes later, sans baby, but with an open beer bottle in each hand, and she served them without a word, only a kiss for her husband and some sort of secret eye-contact code between the two of them before she went back into the house.

“She could stand to be a bit more subtle, you think?” Brian said with a grin.

Drew wasn’t sure exactly what they’d said in their secret code, but he assumed the gist of it had been “enjoy some brotherly bonding time” or something like that. Drew just chuckled noncommittally.

Brian was the first one to interrupt the evening’s cricket serenade. “So, um... do you have—I mean, is there... a someone?”

Zach.

His heart pulsed. God, he wasn’t even sure how to answer that because... did he? Thousands of little snapshots of their time together played through his mind, but that only lasted a few minutes before the piercing agony of walking out on him started to edge back in. But before it could take hold, an odd noise came from his brother’s direction, and Drew’s head snapped up.

Brian’s eyes were wide with excitement. “There is! Oh my god! There is! Tell me, tell me!” Brian cried, making the glider jerk this way and that as he shifted to face Drew. After an awkward beat, Brian backtracked a bit. “Or, um, don’t. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. Sorry, sorry.”

Drew was feeling this strange mix of emotions—at first, the threat of agony, but that was so quickly and wonderfully replaced with a tentative hope. Better than hope—a realization that yes, he really could tell someone about Zach. About the man he’d met not even a week ago and managed to fall in love with so quickly and so completely. And even the pain of what he’d done and what might be ahead for Drew wasn’t enough to quell his enthusiasm as he told his brother everything.

It was at least another hour, maybe more, before Drew had exhausted every detail about Zach that was tame enough to tell his brother. The evening at his parents’ house ended with a brief farewell to his parents, promising he’d visit again soon. And on the porch of their childhood home, while Sherri waited in the car with Maddie, Brian gave Drew a fierce and protective hug, full of so much love and... god, he didn’t even know what else. But never had he felt more accepted and more loved by someone who knew all of him.

A few minutes later, as he sat in his car at the end of the dirt road at the edge of his parents’ property, Drew unlocked his phone with a swipe, quickly navigated to Discord, and typed out a brief message to his pocket friends.

NotPeterParker

If anyone’s available in about an hour, I’d really love to chat. Don’t worry, all good things, but... yeah, I wanna share some things.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Zach

“Zachary, sweetie!” his mom fussed, somehow managing to usher both him and Jen inside and pack a whole little guilt trip for him all at the same time—he wasn’t sure she had even taken a breath. “Come here, I need to hug you so I can make sure you’re really alright? What happened that you had to drive? And I sure hope you didn’t drive that whole way without stopping to sleep for the night, did you? You know I worry about you!”

“I love you too, Mom. I’m fine,” he assured her and then continued answering the rest of her questions in short order as the three of them made their way to the living room to join Zach’s father.

His mom excused herself to go make everyone a round of mimosas, and his dad gave him and Jen a warm hello before returning to reading his newspaper. Sometimes Zach wished he could seemingly ignore people as well as Dave Harrison did—his father usually proved himself to have been paying attention, but the lack of eye contact always made Zach feel anxious. And unheard. Maybe that’s why Zach’s mom was so... extra all the time.

Zach shook his head to try and clear his thoughts as he eased himself down onto one end of the sofa. Jen, being the dutiful best friend she was, sat next to him. His muscles ached, especially his back and arms, from the extra time he’d spent at work the last few days. He’d assigned Jason to dog walking and taken over cleaning out the kennels, hoping that keeping busy with something a little more physically demanding would be a good distraction. It’d worked, too, until he’d remembered this was the exact work Drew did regularly as a volunteer over in Dallas.

This wasn’t the first time Zach had experienced anxiety for days on end, but it was the first time devastating heartache had joined the party. The feeling of crippling self-doubt wasn’t a novelty either, but there were now new additions to the negative soundtrack in his head.

For all his whining to Jen about monthly brunch and needing her as a friend buffer, the one Sunday a month was actually something he looked forward to. Just... not this time. Not when his mom had overheard Drew at the hotel and when she knew Zach had driven home instead of flying. He really wasn’t sure whether he could deal with his mom being extra... extra today.

A few minutes later, his mom came back into the room with full glasses for everyone—except his for his dad, who was still enjoying his coffee. Zach watched his mom as she distributed the drinks and then took a seat. The entire time, she’d been worrying at her bottom lip, like she did when she was trying not to meddle. Zach didn’t need more than one guess to know what she was biting her tongue about.

He wished he was brave enough to just tell her he didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want her overzealous questions about his love life or lack thereof. Especially today. His heart still ached with the pain of losing Drew and his still-uncertain conviction that Drew had to have left because Zach was too much—too talkative, too intense, too... everything.

“Stop that,” Jen hissed under her breath, bumping his leg gently with her own.

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