Page 187 of Forced Vows

Soulless? That is me, but it's not her.

"Make any changes you want. Redesign the whole apartment. Make it a home."

She swallows. Something I said touched her emotions. "I can add some personal touches, but it's hardly worth redesigning the whole place for a temporary living situation."

"Our living together is not temporary." Sev could become godfather tomorrow and I wouldn't let Róise move back in with her uncle.

She is mine, damn it.

"That's not what I meant. But this isn't our permanent home, right? We'll be moving into the De Luca apartment building with your family at some point."

"No. This is our home."

Chapter 64: RÓISE

I look around with new eyes, because this is our home.

But the fresh perspective doesn't change what I see.

A soulless space devoid of family. "I don't mind moving in with your family. There are less De Lucas living there than Shaughnessys in the Long Island house."

For once, the memories of living there with even more family don't hurt as much.

But Miceli shakes his head in denial. "It's a bad security decision to have the godfather and the don of the most powerful of the Five Families living in the same building."

"But the Godfather right now is a don." Which means both the don and godfather live in the same house.

"We don't do things the way other families do them. That's why I will be don when Sev steps up to be godfather."

I think their separation of duties is smart, and maybe their decision not to live together is too.

But does that mean we have to live here? "What about getting a house on Long Island? With the helicopter, you could get here faster than driving from the De Luca apartment building to Oscuro."

He's shaking his head again and I hastily add, "Not in one of the boroughs of course."

That would cause all sorts of problems.

"Mi dolce fiore, the don of the Genovese has to live in Genovese territory. And that is Manhattan."

"But this isn't even an apartment building. It's an office building."

"That's a benefit, not a detriment. Most offices are empty by seven p.m. and with the private elevator we'll have the kind of privacy that could only be achieved by having a standalone house."

"I don't want that kind of privacy. I've lived my entire life surrounded by other people. I don't want to live on the top floor of an office building."

"We'll get to see more of each other when home is only an elevator ride away." Every time he says the words home, some emotion I can't read passes through his dark gaze.

Okay, that's a fair point. Given the choice between seeing more of Miceli, or less, I choose more. But an office building?

The idea of living here with no family around makes it hard to breathe.

"I can't live here, Miceli."

"We don't have a choice right now."

Does that mean we might in the future? Hope sparks to life inside me, but it's not enough. "But my cousins," I try to explain so he'll get it. "I had four months to get used to leaving them."

"Sometimes just ripping the Band-Aid off is best. "