James gives me a curious look.
‘I know just what you mean,’ he says, which is lucky, because I don’t. ‘What do you like about it?’
He asks this with genuine interest, as though we may have finally found something in common, and I rack my brains for a good answer. I remind myself what Rick said about selling yourself, and selling a sort of story about who you are. I just need to tell James what he wants to hear.
‘I enjoy the challenge, and the feeling of accomplishment when I push myself and find myself getting stronger,’ I reply, hoping it sounds believable.
‘Right,’ he replies with a smile. ‘Feeling that real progress, in real time, it’s a real high.’
Oh my gosh, we’re chatting, and we’re getting on, and it’s working! And Liz looks livid, which is just the best feeling in the world.
‘Are we going for a drink after this?’ Liz asks, stepping in front of me so that James has to look at her and not me.
‘Are you not seeing your new guy tonight?’ he asks curiously.
‘Him? Oh, no,’ Liz replies. ‘He’s not a good fit for me. Let’s just say I’m looking into other options.’
Ergh, I forgot the two of them were in their new flirting era. I need to get his attention back on me. She can’t steal him right from under my nose like this.
‘We’re flying tomorrow,’ James reminds her. ‘I’m going to get an early night.’
As James shoots Liz down, her face drops just as fast. Right, now is my time to shine, to literally muscle back in.
‘James, while I’ve got you, I was wondering if you could help me work on my lifting technique,’ I ask with a smile. ‘Seeing as though you’re such a pro, and I’m still trying to improve.’
‘Yeah, of course,’ he replies. ‘I’d be happy to help. Let me take some weight off this one for you.’
As James preps the barbell for me, I look over to Priya. Her mouth twitches briefly into an impressed smirk before disappearing just as quickly, before Liz can see.
With James’s helpful guidance, I position myself in front of a large weight, feeling his hands gently guiding mine into the correct stance, and as he touches my hands I feel a shiver rattle its way through my entire body. I don’t think I’ve ever felt his hands on me before and, truthfully, realising this is making it almost impossible to focus on the task at hand.
‘And lift,’ he prompts me.
As I lift the weight, I feel like my arms might just slip out of their sockets. The pressure is almost unbearable, and it’s taking all my effort to fight off the urge to let out a scream. Somehow, I manage to lift it, though every muscle in my body protests against the effort. I don’t feel accomplished, or stronger, or any of that shit that I said before. I feel sick, dizzy and like I might just die (I’m tempted to say willingly) if I don’t put it down.
I return the weight to the floor with a huge sigh of relief (or that might just be me huffing and puffing to catch my breath), trying to hide the fact that I’m pretty sure I just saw my dead grandparents beckoning me towards a bright light.
‘Great job,’ James says, smiling encouragingly. ‘There’s work to be done but I admire your dedication and your passion. That didn’t look easy.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, smiling back.
‘I could definitely lift that,’ Liz says. ‘And it would be much easier – watch.’
She nudges me out of the way. Really, truly, everything is a competition to this girl.
I do as she says and, with a determined look, she attempts to lift the weight, struggling to hoist it up. Finally, with a victorious grunt, she manages to lift it before dropping it down with an irritating sense of pride.
‘No help required,’ she declares, shooting me a smug glance. ‘I guess I’m just stronger.’
My blood begins to boil. Honestly, what is it with this woman? She can’t let me have anything, can she? Everything is a competition, anything I do makes her feel like she has to do it too – but better, of course. Why can’t she just let me have this one? I wasn’t even claiming to be the best at this – nor did I even imply I was all that good and worth competing with.
Oh, but now… now I can’t let it go.
‘Can I try more weight?’ I ask James.
‘Are you sure?’ he replies. ‘You didn’t feel like that last one was too much for you?’
I shake my head.