Page 13 of It's All Sun and Games

‘How does that make sense?’ she asks as we head to the checkout. ‘Rick wanting employees who would screw him over?’

‘I think the way he sees it is that people like that will make him a lot of money, while they’re trying hard to get to the top,’ I point out. ‘They will work themselves to death trying to prove themselves, to be the best, to get to the top. And obviously they can’t actually take his job but it’s their drive to do so that is profitable for Rick.’

‘So, can’t you just pretend you have that sort of drive?’ Priya suggests. ‘To make him think you’re ruthless?’

‘Going off what he said to me earlier, I would probably have more luck trying to convince him I was pregnant,’ I say through gritted teeth. ‘Honestly, I know he can be a dickhead, but trying to tell me I need to watch what I eat – when I really, really don’t – is too far.’

‘Yeah, I’m disgusted with that too,’ Priya replies. ‘Although I realised – halfway through the burgers we ate earlier – that you weren’t going to pay attention to him.’

‘Too right,’ I reply as we head down the street, back towards the office. ‘Having a typical body and an average face isn’t going to change how I do my job, is it?’

‘You don’t have an average face, you’re gorgeous,’ Priya reminds me.

‘Thanks,’ I say, giving her a playful nudge. ‘I guess the problem with bad reviews is that, even if it’s something subjective, or they’re just outright wrong, it’s hard not to take it to heart. I don’t want to listen to him but, at the same time, I don’t want to lose my job.’

‘You listen to me, Robin, you are beautiful, you have an enviable body, and I’ve never seen you turn up to work looking anything but professional – even if you do wear hats while you walk to work,’ she says with a roll of her eyes. ‘I mean, come on, look at those two.’

We watch, from a distance, as James and Liz cross the road from the office to the gym. I can tell from here that she is in full-on flirt mode. She’s flicking her hair, batting her eyes, hanging from his arm as they make their way across the road.

James goes to the gym every day without fail. For Liz it’s not so much a way of life, more a way to get up close and personal with James.

‘His hard work is clearly paying off, though,’ I say. ‘He’s in great shape.’

‘For what?’ Priya replies. ‘Love Island?’

‘But it impresses Rick that he goes there every day,’ I say. ‘That’s why he gave us all a membership card for the place – he wants us to use them.’

‘So, why don’t you use yours?’ Priya suggests.

I shoot her a look.

‘Oh, no, I am not changing my tune,’ she replies quickly, with extra emphasis on the word ‘not’. ‘What I’m saying is that, if all Rick cares about is appearances, then let’s simply appear to be going to the gym. Let’s go now. We don’t even need to do anything, just spend a bit of time there, make sure the others see us, we can piss around for a bit and then, well, we’re going to Italy tomorrow. To us it’s a one-off, to Rick it will look like you’re really taking what he’s saying on board.’

‘Priya, you’re a genius,’ I say, my words practically bursting out. ‘That way we can look like we’re trying really hard, which can only help our chances with this top-secret promotion.’

‘You’ve just bought some bits you can wear, I’ve got my clothes for cycling home in the office – we could pop in, get changed, and head straight over,’ she suggests. ‘We just need to make sure that James and Liz see us, so that it feeds back to Rick.’

‘Let’s do it,’ I say.

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to go exercise, but Priya is right, this is exactly what we need to do, to get in Rick’s good books.

And, who knows? I might actually enjoy it.

6

As Priya and I use our work-issued membership cards to gain entry to the gym, I’m almost surprised that they work, given that this is our first time scanning them. I’m surprised Rick hasn’t cancelled mine to save money, now that I know the way he sees me.

It’s a long time since I’ve been in a gym. You know what, it might even be when I was still at school – but I’ve seen them on TV, and in movies, and on Instagram and stuff. Still, nothing could have prepared me for what I’ve just walked into. I thought it would be more sportsy, that it would smell bad, that it would be full of sweaty people. This place is more like a nightclub. Everything is so sleek, chic and modern. Music is pumping, the lights are flashing, and it smells really nice. And then there are the people in here – stunning, every last one of them. I’m half expecting to see staff going round, handing out shots.

‘This place is unreal,’ I say to Priya, quiet enough that only she can hear me, but loud enough that she can hear me over the techno music. I can actually feel the bass, rumbling through my feet, as I take each step.

‘Yeah, who knew keeping fit was so… so… I don’t even have the words,’ she replies. ‘I wasn’t expecting lights or music – although I’m half expecting a smoke machine now.’

‘Perhaps they save that for the evening,’ I joke. ‘When the disco ball comes down.’

We pass row after row of treadmills, each with its own screen, all of them currently showing music videos, which is kind of trippy to look at. Then there are the bikes, those steppy machines that I am far too sedentary to be able to name, and then we get to the weights section.

A monstrously muscular man – I’m talking Mr Universe style – is roaring to himself as he lifts a barbell up and down, up and down, screaming with each lift. It’s hard not to pull a face. Honestly, it looks so unpleasant, he’s already buff as hell, and he doesn’t look like he’s having a very nice time. I’m certain he’s getting something from it, or why else would he do it, and I don’t judge him for being into it, what I’m saying is that, for me, it looks like my idea of hell. I also don’t think putting myself through something like this could possibly make me any better at my job.

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