Page 64 of It's All Sun and Games

‘You’re on,’ she says, turning to me. ‘Robin, we’re going to beat you – aren’t we, Andrea?’

I turn to face my fake fiancé.

‘We are,’ he says with a smile. Then, when no one else is looking, he gives me a wink.

I have no idea what he’s planning, but I can’t wait to find out.

As James and I tether ourselves together, he flashes me a smile. It makes me nervous when I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I need to fill the silence.

‘You didn’t want me to beat you, huh?’ I tease him.

‘Oh, I definitely want you to beat me,’ he jokes cheekily.

As the speedboat returns to shore, dragging behind it the first pairs of soggy contestants, I laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Never in a million years did I think I would be climbing onto a big, inflatable banana while being tied to James.

Rick smacks himself on the side of the head, kind of violently, to get the last of the water out of his ear.

‘Remember, teams, you’re only as strong as your weakest link,’ he reminds us, which is hilarious given the fact that it was him who fell off the banana first. ‘I hope you’re ready, because it is one hell of a bumpy ride.’

Now that the banana is wet, it’s quite slippery, in a way that I don’t imagine it was before the first teams went out. All I can think about is the classic slapstick joke where someone slips and falls on a banana peel. It doesn’t feel like a good omen, that all I can think of is a hilarious accident.

As the inflatable banana begins its journey out to sea, I feel mostly terrified but, in some kind of human nature-based response, the adrenaline gives me a rush of something close to pleasant.

This may not be the relaxing boat journey that I wanted, but it’s still possible to take in the view, even if I don’t have a glass of Prosecco.

I thought we were already going fast but, no, we weren’t, now we’re going fast, and not only is it impossible to sightsee while I’m clinging on for dear life, but I feel like I’ve had about fifty glasses of Prosecco.

We’re bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down – it’s literally sickening.

Andrea is sitting in front of me. I want to say that he looks goofy in his bright orange life jacket but he doesn’t. He looks so cool.

He turns around to look at me and gives me a wave. Then, with that, he so very blatantly purposefully throws himself into the sea, and he takes Liz (who is sitting in front of him) down with him.

James, who is behind me, doesn’t see anything but our rivals falling into the water.

‘Woo!’ he calls out. ‘Yes, Robin, come on, we won,’ he shouts out. ‘And we definitely did longer than Henry and Cait, too, so that makes us the winners.’

‘Yeah, amazing,’ I call back.

The boat driver circles back to where Andrea and a majorly furious-looking Liz are bobbing in the water, waiting to be picked up.

‘Well, that sucked,’ Liz says.

As Andrea helps a soaking wet and seriously annoyed Liz back onto the boat, I can’t help but stifle a laugh at the sight.

‘It’s not fair that I’ve lost, just because Andrea couldn’t stay on,’ she continues.

‘Maybe you should’ve stuck with me,’ James jokes.

‘It was you who wanted to team up with Robin,’ she reminds him.

‘And what a great call that was,’ James says, squeezing my shoulder. ‘Let’s head back and see if there’s a prize – other than bragging rights, of course.’

‘I think I’ll swim back,’ Andrea announces.

‘What?’ I blurt. ‘All that way?’

‘It’s not that far,’ he replies. ‘I’ve been swimming in the sea since I was a baby. I’ll be fine.’

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